Words
by violetdoodlebug
Summary: Drabbles I've written based on prompts, mostly from Tumblr. But if I'm ever to get a prompt on here, it would also go in with these.
1. Can I kiss you?

Their first fight was not very pretty. Of course a fight is never pretty. But when two people are in a relationship, especially one as intricate and precious and dynamic as theirs, a big blow out fight wasn't a matter of if, but when.

There wasn't violence. Nothing was thrown, nothing broken. No shattered glass. There were only explosive words, the kind that haunt you in the middle of the night, and the kind that burn after you say. The kind you regret.

But luckily, their first fight won't be their last.

"You couldn't have called me? Why the hell couldn't you have called me?" he fumed.

"I didn't know that you had to know my whereabouts every second of the day!" she shouted back.

"You're my partner! I should always know where my partner is!"

"We're partners at work. When we're not working, we're _not _partners."

"Oh, really? I didn't know our _partnership _had limits," he said. That one stung. Hard.

"That's not what I meant," she reasoned.

"No, I think you said exactly what you meant."

"I meant that outside of work, we're…"

"Not partners."

"Will you just listen to me?" she shouted, tears stinging her eyes. "Outside of work, we're boyfriend and girlfriend. And there's a really big difference between the two. When I'm your partner, yeah, you should always know where I'm at. But when we're just a boy and girl hanging out, I'm allowed to live my life sometimes!"

"You almost got shot yesterday," he whispered. "Someone was trying to kill you. Excuse me for being concerned."

"Why are you still trying to yell at me? I was at my Mom's. I'm sorry I didn't answer your damn phone call, but my phone was dead!"

"I'm sorry that I love you enough to be worried," he said bitterly.

_Shit._

_What did he just say? Did he just say he was sorry that he loved her?_

The apology stung, and Kensi felt the tears pricking her eyes fall.

_He made her cry. He wasn't supposed to make her cry. He had the moments. He was supposed to be there for her. To help. To love. Never to hurt._

"Kens, I didn't mean…" he began.

Her tears didn't stop. His chest tightened, because he's looking at what his words can do to her.

He takes a few steps toward her. "Kensi, I love you. I don't regret falling in love with you. Never. I'm so sorry. You're right. I'm sorry."

"You weren't wrong Deeks. I should have considered that you'd be worried. I could have called you from my Mom's phone. I should have."

Her eyelashes fluttered, letting the last tears flicker away. Her eyes pleaded with him. _Do something. Show me we're okay._

He did just that. He opened up his arms, and she ran straight into them.

Her grip was strong on him. It screamed, "Never let me go."

She pulled away. "Are, are we good?" Her voice was nervous, timid, vulnerable.

He cleared his throat. "Can I kiss you?"

Her deep brown damp eyes looked into his. She nodded slowly. And suddenly, there he was, kissing her the same way he did on the top of that hill. The same way he kissed her on the ice, the same way she'd kissed him as Melissa.

His fingers ran down her cheeks, and as he pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers.

"I think that means we're good," he panted.

"We shouldn't be allowed to use words," she laughed, lightly.

"No we shouldn't," he agreed.


	2. Are you drunk?

"Kensi… Kensi… Kensi!"

"Huh, what?"

"Are you drunk?"

She giggled. Damn, I love that sound.

"Yeah, maybe just a little bit."

"So, how'd you get in my bed?" I knew she'd gone out with Nell and Rose, but I didn't expect to find her here when I got home from walking Monty.

"I'm not really sure," she said, slurring her words. "I was too drunk to drive, so I took a cab. I gave them my address, but they brought me here."

Drunk Kensi thinks she lives here? I liked the sound of that.

"So lemme get this straight, you got drunk, and told the cab driver you lived here."

"I guess," she said, her eyes drifting around.

Yep. She's drunk alright.

"Anything else you wanna tell me while you're drunk?"

"Hmmm….," she hummed. "I think I want to live with you."

I smiled. "I wanna live with you too. But, sober Kensi might not agree. Ask me again when you're not laughing like a 12 year old."

"Sober Kensi will agree. She's just not as bold."

"I think she's perfect."

Even drunk Kensi smiled at that one.


	3. I'll be right over

"Deeks, talk to me. What's going on?"

His was silent, except for heavy, ragged breathing. She didn't have to say anything else, but a quick "I'll be right over."

His door was unlocked, and she found him standing up against the wall. His face was red. Monty was sitting on the floor, and he made no move to greet her.

Tentatively, she stepped into his apartment.

"Deeks," she said quietly. "Tell me what's going on."

He pushed away from the wall, stepping forward toward her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly into him.

"Hetty passed away this morning."

She instantly felt the confusion hit her like a train, the shock of what he said bounced off of her. But with his arms around her, she couldn't run to escape it. He forced her to face what he'd just said.

"What?"

Ultimately, she wasn't too happy with Hetty after the whole Afghanistan fiasco. But after all, she knew the woman truly did care about her and her team.

There weren't a lot of answers, there weren't a lot of things he could say. Instead, he pulled her tighter in to him. She pressed her head into his chest.

She didn't say anything, and she didn't produce any tears. She felt her face burning, but she just kept burrowing down deeper into him.

Eventually, she pulled her head away not leaving his embrace.

"How did it happen?" she asked shakily.

"Stroke," he replied softly.

_Yeah, a stroke. Whatever. If Hetty was going to die, she'd go out with a bang, in an explosion. Not a stroke._

She put her head back down on his shoulder.

"Why can't we catch a break, Deeks?" she asked.

He shook his head. There were no words. No words to spread or give to her any comfort.

She couldn't let him go. Not now.

"You know, I couldn't cry when I first found out either," he said, rubbing his palm over her red cheek.

"When did you start crying, then?"

"When I realized that without Hetty, I never would have fallen in love with you."


	4. I just want this

"I just want this Kensi," he says, running his finger through a damp loose curl. They were lying in bed, cuddling uncharacteristically. She lay in his lap, resting peacefully. "If this is all you want, I'm game."

"But its not all you want," she said, sensing the vulnerability in his voice.

"I can make it by without kids. But I can't make it by without you," he said, stressing the word you.

Kensi felt herself blush.

"It's ultimately okay with me that you don't want kids. If we want different things, I'm okay with that. As long as I'm with you."

"Stop it," she pleaded.

"I mean it Kens."

"I know you do. Just stop."

"No, we have to talk about this. If we don't communicate we're going to be right back where we started," he said boldly.

She shook her head. "I get the point. My turn to talk."

He did stop. His eyes bulged slightly, and he stopped twirling his finger around the curl and waited.

"I'm listening."

Suddenly, she one again felt words fail her. But instead of letting that stop her, she grabbed his hand, raised his old shirt up off of her belly, laced her fingers through his, and pressed his palm to her bare stomach. His calloused hands were cold, and she shivered, but soon enough the touch began to burn her skin.

He didn't seem to catch what she was trying to say, and of course he wouldn't. Communication.

So she crafted a simple sentence to help get the point across.

"Meet baby."

Still, it took a moment, but this time, it clicked.

"Whoa, baby?" he said, voice full of excitement and cheer. He bit his tongue. "I mean, whoa, um, a baby. " This time, he was more hesitant.

"You're allowed to be excited," she said.

He sat up a little straighter,"I mean, this is amazing, but you don't want it."

She rolled her eyes. "How do you know I don't want it?"

He stuttered. "Well, you, um…"

"I just want this, too," she said. "But I want all of it. Me, you, baby. I want it all."

"Oh yes," he said, pressing his lips into her hair. I want this so much."

He rubbed her stomach, making no attempt to move his hand away. "I'd kiss it, but I can't while we're lying like this."

"Don't you dare," she warned.

"Oh no Kensalina. I know you like it."

"Shut up," she said, shaking her head.

"But I don't want to! I'm gonna be a Dad!"

She laughed, leaning back into his chest. "Yeah, yeah you are. And a pretty damn good one at that."


	5. Please don't argue

He hovered behind her, just like a cloud, as she walked in the door. He stayed there until she was settled into his couch.

He ran into his kitchen, grabbing her a water bottle, an ice pack, and a bottle of ibuprofen.

He walked back over to her, twisting the cap off of the bottle of water and popped a couple pills out into the lid.

"Deeks, its just a bruised rib, I'll be fine."

"No. You're in pain, take them."

Relief sounded pretty enticing, and even if she didn't want to be clouded by the medication. She rolled her eyes, but did as she was told.

He offered the ice pack to her, and once again, she tried to claim she didn't need it. "I'm just tired."

"Tired? Fine," he claimed. "So please don't argue."

He scooped her up in his arms, pulling her into him gently, and carefully set her down on his bed. He rid her of her jeans, and gently lifted her shirt over her head. He let her slip into one of his loose LAPD sweatshirts, and pulled the blanket up over her. Then he gently pressed the ice pack to her rib.

"Better?"

"Glad I didn't argue, that's for damn sure."


	6. I did (took) a pregnancy test

A/N: In my silly little head this is January 2016.

* * *

"Its your birthday."

He laughed at me. "Really? I never would have guessed."

We'd had a long case today. I'd avoided bringing up the fact that it was his birthday all day, trying to make him think I'd forgotten. However, he didn't buy it.

"There's an ice cream cake in the freezer," I said, laying my head down in his lap.

He cleared his throat. Drives him crazy when I do that. "Yeah, um, cake, ice cream cake, that's, um, good."

I like making him speechless.

"I have another suprise for you too."

"And that would be?"

"Three guesses. Go."

He was frustrated, I could tell.

"You're going to start sharing Twinkies."

"Oh hell no!" I proclaimed.

"You're giving me your Wonder Women sports bra. "

"Deeks!"

"You wanna have sex." he hinted with a suggestive wink.

"We can probably get to that a little later. But this is just slightly more important."

"More important than sex? I don't know if I can handle that Kens. Oh, what the hell, its my birthday. Lay it on me."

I didn't much like his attitude, but I also figured that once I told him, everything would change, and the conversation would turn much more serious.

"I took a pregnancy test, Deeks."

He lifted his palm and placed it gently on my chin.

"You took a pregnancy test," he repeated back to me.

"Yep, I did."

"What did it say?"

I told myself that in this moment, I wouldn't be afraid. I wouldn't hesitate. But the words I said didn't quite come out as smoothly as I'd hoped. "It might have been positive."

"So we're pregnant?"

"I'm not sure about you, but I'm pretty sure about me."

"And its mine?"

"I'm yours, so it would make sense that the baby would also be yours…" I laughed.

"I'm sorry, this is just a lot."

"I know."

He smiled, that deep, perfect, amazing, loving smile that melts me. "So this is basically like the best gift ever."

Before I had time to reply, he'd picked me up bridal style, and we were spinning around and he was cheering, "I'm going to be a Dad!"

I laughed, and maybe even squealed just a tiny bit, before he quit spinning and just held me there in his arms. It was a golden moment, and as much as I wanted him to put me down, I kind of liked this.

"Happy birthday," I offered.

He kissed me passionately. "Thank you, and I love you."

"I love you too," I grinned. "But that ice cream cake's not gonna eat itself."

"Touche Wonder Woman, touche."


	7. I want a baby

Her mind has been running for a few days now. Days, nights, during car rides, quiet moments. It snags at her heartstrings everytime he wraps his nimble around her stomach to pull her into him. He plays her like a violin. He knows right where to play her to get the reaction he wants. It kills her.

And this stakeout is definitely going to be the death of her. He's talking and mumbling and she doesn't know half of what he's saying. But he just keeps talking, as if he can sense that she's tense. He doesn't want to push her.

Yet, he does want to push her. But he wants to push her the right way. He wants to push her to be a better person and push her to take responsibility for her own happiness. He doesn't want to push her to tell him anything she's not ready to tell him.

This is definitely not something she's ready to tell him. How do you drop something like that on a person? Something so big, something that she could so very easily suppress. She just has to believe that she doesn't want it. She didn't want it not long ago. Why can't it be so simple?

She knows he wants it too. And so if she tells him that she wants it, its going to happen. She can't take it back. Once she says that she wants this, her wish is his command.

She wants to unwant it.

But she can't. Because she really really does want it. And its not gonna change.

There's so many variables, risks. And for once, she's looked past those risks to see the beauty that would inevitably come along with it.

She wants to be the mother of his child._ Damn, she wants it so badly._

His rambling continues, "and Monty was just so worn out from his walk, but he smelled so bad that I just had to give him a bath…" and she was just SO DONE with the incessant babble.

Her desire rumbles deep within her, and wish her frustration with him and her want in the front of her mind, she blurts out the sentence she's been trying so hard not to say.

"I want a baby."

His rant stops pretty immediately, and his head turns from the door he's been watching and his eyes fall upon her.

"Stakeout, Deeks. Watch it."

"You can't say that to me and then expect me to just keep staring at that door that's _not _going to open."

She looks away from him, back to the door their supposed to be watching. "I'm not sure why it's a surprise to you, Deeks. We've been married for like, a year."

"Because you're notorious for shooting me down when I bring up kids."

"We'd only been married for three months!" she exclaimed.

"It was a wake-up call," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't ready."

"So are you saying that you're ready now?"

She sighs. "No, I don't think I'll ever be ready."

He squints, signaling that she'd not making any sense.

"I may never be ready. But I want it. I want it with you."

"So…"

"I want a baby. Let's do it."

He rolls his head back, slamming it against the headrest of his seat. In her peripheral vision, she sees his smile. It lights up his face. _He wanted this for so long. She's giving him something he really wants. Something you want._

And suddenly, the door flings open. A large man busts out the door, holding a gun to another man's head, and the pair jump into action.

"Lets go shoot some bad guys," he says, as they quickly make their way out of the car and to the scene. Of course, they save the day, the bad guy goes to prison, and all is well. Baby, it never gets old .

* * *

That night, she pushes the key into the lock and she walks into their home. She kicks her shoes off by the door, and Monty is sent to the backyard to do his business. She takes a moment to stare at the fridge. Its her turn to 'cook dinner'. Although, she never quite ends up cooking dinner, because well, she'd Kensi. She doesn't cook dinner.

He comes home just 20 minutes later, he'd dropped her off at home before running to the grocery store. When he walks in, she shouts, "What do you want for dinner, babe?"

He walks into the kitchen, pulls her into him and kisses her _hard. _

"Are you 100% sure you want a baby?"

She looks at him a little crookedly. "Yeah, I want a baby," she says, so coolly that she surprises herself even.

He pulls his grocery bag up off of the counter. "Then I've got dinner."

She gingerly opens the bag, which has tons of little baby food jars.

"The little old lady in the aisle said that the blueberry kind tasted the best."

She giggled. "We're gonna eat baby food?"

He giggled back. "Well, yeah. We have to get in the spirit."

"You realize babies don't pop out of the womb eating this stuff, right?"

He rolls his eyes. "Duh. But seriously, the little old lady said these taste good. Plus we'll have to know which ones to feed the little ninja."

"So we're really gonna do this right now?"

"Oh yeah," he said, reaching into the bag and pulled out tiny spoons. "Here's your spoon, Wonder Woman."

She takes the spoon. "I call the blueberry one."

"Don't worry, I got two of them."

She can feel his eyes on her as they dig into the jars. "So you know, at some point, we're actually gonna have to make the baby at some point right?" she asks sarcastically.

"You ready to get pregnant?"

"I don't quite think it works that way."

"Gotta start somewhere."

"Gotta start sometime."

"So after we finish these to jars?" he asks, holding up his jar and pointing to hers.

She sticks her lip up and nods, scooping up another bite and licking it off of the spoon. She takes to more bites before she's just done. She sets the half empty jar down on the table.

"Or now," she shrugs.

He sets his jar down, more like slams it down, and agrees. "Ya, no, now totally works."


	8. do a birthday drabble!

A/N: So, last update I screwed up. A lot. I thought it would suffice just to skim it, but no no, I should have taken the time to edit it fully before posting. I'm sorry about all the errors! My goodness, was I asleep when I wrote that? Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm capable of better than that. Let's see if I can redeem myself today.

* * *

They were in the car on the way to OPS when she finally brought up his birthday.

"Alright. It's your birthday. Since I have no freaking idea what to get you, and you never opened your present from like two years ago, here's the deal. You're turning 36, so you get 3 wishes. Use them wisely."

He looks at her, squinting. "Who the hell are you, Kens, a magician?"

"Not that kind of wish you idiot. Any three things you want, want me to tell you, want me to do, whatever. You get three. That's it." He starts to say something, but she interrupts. "Don't bother wishing for sex. They'll be plenty of that."

* * *

Their day starts up with meaningless paperwork and he can't get the stupid wishes out of his head. What's he going to do with them? How does he make a decision like that? He decides to risk one of them to see how it goes. After Eric whistles, symbolizing their case on deck, they head upstairs. On the way up, he whispers in her ear.

"Wish one, you'll go surfing with me."

She smiles, and whispers back. "Sure, when? For how long?"

* * *

With one wish down, he's got to take the next two very seriously. It was sitting in the coffee house on the undercover op that he came up with the second one. She was undercover as a worker, and he was a costumer. When she came over to set down his coffee cup, he whispered his second wish.

"Take me to meet your mom. Not as your partner. As your boyfriend."

She isn't able to say that at the time, considering they were undercover, but as soon as they were done, she exclaimed, "With pleasure."

* * *

A gunshot rings off in the distance. They both jump. They fire a few rounds back, but its evident that they won't be able to take all of the bad guys down. Sam and Callen were still a good five minutes out. In a quick moment, they lock eyes, sharing one last moment before the inevitable happens.

And just like that, she takes two more shots before she goes down.

He's filled with emotions, lots of them. Anger and passion, but sadness can't hit him yet because of the adrenaline. When its finally safe for him to run over to her, he sees how bad it really is.

He compresses her wound. She doesn't say a lot. He's cursing and he can't breathe. She floats in and out, her eyes open and shut as she tries, just tries not to slip away.

They need a miracle.

So he uses his third wish.

"Don't leave me, Kens."

And sometimes in life, our wishes do happen to come true.

When she wakes up from surgery, she's sore. She's on edge, tense, until her eyes lock with his. Suddenly her world is complete.

His fingers run through her hair as he asks if she needs anything, but she swears she's just fine. The doctor makes his round through, verifies that though she is sore, she's alright for the time being.

She can tell that he's still nervous and worried about her. "Don't worry, Deeks. I couldn't die on your birthday. Although this will put a damper on the sex... might need to take a rain check on that one. "

He laughs, "Yeah, my birthday seems to be cursed."

"No," she corrects. "Your partner is just an ass."

He chuckled, and almost made a really dirty joke, but he let it slide. "You'll still go surfing with me though?"

"Absolutely. Maybe not for a few weeks, but I will."

"And you'll still reintroduce me to your Mom?"

"We'll go see her, we'll tell her about us."

"You're not going anywhere?"

"Nope."

"Well, my birthday may seem to never go our way, but it may not be so bad after all," he said, leaning over the bed to kiss her. "Except, please never get shot again."

"You're out of wishes, buddy," she says, and he starts to look angry, and she adds, "but I'll try."


	9. Kensi has weird pregnancy cravings

A/N: So it my family, we eat fried potatoes and chocolate gravy. Yes. We are insane. Enjoy.

* * *

"Kensi, what are you eating?"

She looks up from her plate. "Fried potatoes."

He sniffs the air around the kitchen. "Um, I don't think fried potatoes smell like that," he said, then glanced down at her plate. "I don't think they look like that either."

"You know I can't cook," she scowled.

"No, seriously, what's on those?" he asks, sitting down at the table.

"Chocolate."

His eyes bug out of his head a little bit. "Huh?"

"Shut up," she said, lightly tapping his thigh. "The friend potatoes weren't cutting it, and they were too burnt to do anything with, and I had the chocolate laying around."

"The chocolate was mine, I was going to surprise you with ice cream sundaes later," he said, frowning.

The hormones kick in. "Deeeeeks!" She squeals. "Thank you, that is so sweet!" She put her fork down and pushes her plate toward him. "You can have the rest."

He doesn't want it, because _ew_. But he's feeling curious, and also, she's so happy. He can't crush her. He tentatively raises the fork to his lips.

"Oh my goodness, this is amazing!" He exclaims, taking another bite.

"I know, right?" she smiled.

Oh yeah. Pregnancy cravings? Check. They can handle that.


	10. Adrenal Fatigue

"Close your eyes," he said softly.

She was sitting next to him on the couch, and they were about halfway through a six pack of beer.

"What? " she asked, her tone of voice conveying her confusion.

"I said close your eyes," he repeated.

"And I asked why."

"You asked what," he corrected.

"Whatever I said… you know what I meant. What's going on?" she said. Frustration laced her words.

"You're stressed," he said, moving his hand over to the top of her foot, resting it there.

"That would be an understatement. "

"Can I help?"

"Sex doesn't cure everything, Deeks. Sex is great and all, sex with you is perfect, but it doesn't necessarily relax me, which is what I have to do with this 'adrenal fatigue' crap."

He smiled. "Not sex. I don't mean that. But I wanna help you."

"Deeks I don't think you can.."

"I bet I can."

"I just don't…" she continues to argue.

"Try me. Close your eyes."

She gives him a nervous look, and he can tell she's not feeling it. However, she trusts him, and her eyes flicker shut.

He goes straight for her lips, and kisses her soundly. His fingers lace her hair and massage her scalp gently.

He had planned on just one kiss, but she tastes like beer and Kensi and come on, who thought he'd ever settle for just one kiss? Between kisses, she askes, "Why are my eyes closed for this?"

He chuckles. "Because you're relaxing."

He can just feel her eye roll, like he knows that she did it internally. He smiles. He's going to kiss every blessed inch. He wasn't trying to make it sexual- every blessed uncovered inch- her hands, her arms, the skin between her pant legs and socks, her temple, her ears, all those little places that sometimes get neglected.

When he finished, he rested his forehead to hers, and pressed another slow kiss to her lips.

"Any more relaxed?"

She smiled, her eyes still closed. "Maybe a little."


	11. Deeks goes back to LAPD

It was three days after the fallout when he finally showed up at her apartment. He looked like hell. His hair was a wild mess and he smelled like burbon, but he wasn't drunk.

Despite the three day time gap, she falls right into his embrace. Her head finds that place where it fits into his chest perfectly. He runs his fingers through her ponytail, and he grabs the holder and gently pulls it lose. Her hair falls down around her face, and he runs his fingers through it over and over and over, trying to soothe her.

They need it.

She doesn't understand how it happened. She doesn't understand why. But he wasn't her partner anymore and Hetty didn't seem to care, and it really pissed her off. He was surely at the LAPD playing Max Gentry and no one was there to save his sorry ass if he did something stupid, and frankly, it scared her shitless. She was so pissed but so confused and sad at the same time.

It didn't necessarily hurt her that he had disappeared for three days. It was a lot to take in, for the both of them. They're both very private people, and sometimes they need their time. Even when they need each other, they tend to gravitate towards being alone. Especially when it's something like this, where there were no answers and everything they've known for the past few years just disappeared right in front of them. But it stung to see his empty desk and bed and to look at her phone and not have a message from him.

They end up on the couch, his legs sprawled out as she sits criss cross applesauce on his lap. He uses her hair tie and he tries to braid her hair, but he hasn't quite mastered the skill yet, so it's loose and falling out, but he still thinks its beautiful. He leans forward and presses his nose into the braid and just breathes her in. He wraps his arms around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder and sighs.

"They can take my work partner away from me, but there is no way in hell that they're taking Max away from Fern."

His three day absence gave him time to think: to think about what he wants. He's always known he wanted her, but in the past, he'd back up when things got complicated. But now that he's had that taste of a life with her, he's addicted. And he won't let it go.

"Are you back?" she asked hesitantly, staring blankly at the wall in front of her, hoping that the focus will keep the tears from falling.

"I was never gone," he says, but she starts to interrupt, but he doesn't let her. "I know I wasn't here, but I wasn't with another girl. I went to LAPD, I got drunk, I had a breakdown, and came to the determination that I'm in your possession, no one elses. You're the only one who is allowed to do as they please with me."

Hearing his confession grinds on her heartstrings. How can he trust her like this? When everything in their world is burning to the ground? And he's just saying "I don't care if you just use me, I don't. Just don't let me go."

She couldn't ever use him.

But she does roll turn her head, lean back against him, and lace her fingers through his.

"It's been colder without you."

The pained expression that wipes over his face makes her first tear fall. Their connected arms and hands come down over her head and he wraps them around her. He twists and twists her until they're lying side by side on her couch. He possessively kicks a leg up over hers and rests it in the middle of her thigh with his heel on her shin. He pulls her into him as tightly as her can, to collect as much body heat as possible.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

"Don't call me baby, and don't apologize."

"No, you needed to hear it. I'm sorry I made you worry. And left you in the cold."

"Well, thank you, Deeks. That means a lot, really," she said, trying to be real with him. He had stung her. She needed to accept his apology. "Thank you for coming back to me."

"No matter what baby girl, I'm yours."

She wanted to yell at him because he just called her baby again, but she didn't. Because he could call her anything he wanted, as long as he threw in "I'm yours" at the end.

He pressed a long, hard and slow kiss into the pulse point of her neck. He stopped and said, "We're not partners anymore. I guess we can just be Max and Fern and drive around in my truck all the time, then." He then continued to kiss her.

She couldn't form a thought because damn, his kisses made her feel warm, so warm.

"Just a boy and girl hanging out," she said, and smiled. They would be okay. Even if they weren't partners, they'd always have Fern and Max.


	12. I didn't want things to end this way

She says it over and over again in her head, the words rustling and crumbling like dried leaves on an October day in Ohio.

She hasn't said that to him yet, but she knows that its coming. She knows that today is the last day, today its going to end today.

They've been in a downward slope for a while now. They've both seen it, but they've tried to avoid it. They're not tired of each other, but it sure seems like it. Everything he does seems to piss her off. He's annoyed by the mess she leaves behind, the laundry she still does wrong. The bliss was over. The times of arguing don't end with passionate lovemaking and apologies. They don't apologize. They just pack their things up and leave, go home, and wonder what the hell happened to Max and Fern.

There are days when there's hope that they're just in a slump and they'll come out of it. But there are times like right now that it would be so much easier just to give up. After all they've been through to get here, they're about to give up on everything they've wanted.

He's in her kitchen. He's not yelling, but there's frustration in his voice. He's seperated himself from her with the counter. She knows he'd never lay a hand on her, but during the heat of an argument, he always puts a blockade between them. He's trying to keep himself from becoming his father. She knows him better than that, but he doesn't trust himself. His knuckles are white with how tightly he's gripping the counter.

And all of the sudden, he stops his complaining about something he can't find and says, "Damn it Kens, what are we doing?"

She snaps into attention. She hadn't really been listening, instead she's just been hearing herself think.

"I don't know," she says, softly.

"How ready are you to give up on us? Be honest," his voice is raw but strong, with just a hint of anger, but mostly vulnerability.

She didn't want to answer, but she was close. She couldn't lie to him. Not now, not about this.

"I'm close," she said quietly. "But you can't tell me that you aren't too."

She's not sure his knuckles can get any whiter, and then they do.

"I'm ready, Kens."

And there it was. Her biggest fear. She feels her walls come up again, all the ones he'd worked so hard to tear down. She may not have been able to keep her face from falling, but she'd make sure he never saw her cry. Because Marty Deeks, the only one who she'd ever loved enough to let in, doesn't want her anymore. He too, is done with her.

Her composure is all she have now. He's said it. He's done. In a reminiscent tone, she says the overlying haunting thought that she's been thinking all day. "I didn't want things to end this way." She can cry when he's gone, she tells herself.

His fingers loosen their grip in the counter top. He takes two steps away from it, and opens his arms up to her.

"No, Deeks. I can't. I can't touch you right now. You, you should go." She feels his eyes on her, but she's looking at the wall behind him. There is no way she can just go hug him goodbye. There's too much depth. He just ended things with her, and in that moment, she can't imagine life without him. She realizes how hard it's going to be, how hard it is losing him. She realizes that she sincerely does still love him, even though its been tough these past few weeks.

"Get your ass over here and hug me," he demands. The anger in his voice isn't there, but its still a demand. She doesn't understand what he's doing to her.

"If I do that, I'm not going to let go."

"Exactly, now get over here."

Finally, she understands what he's doing, what he means. She closes the space between them and falls into his chest. His arms wrap around her with such strenght and power.

"It scares me to death that we're that ready to give up on us. So you've got to promise me that you're not going to leave me. You have to promise me that no matter how bad it gets, we're not ending it like this," he says. His voice cracks and quivers. She can feel him shake. And that wall that she put back up starts to fall again just like that. He's still here and he's asking her not to go anywhere. He's afraid of losing her, afraid enough that he's shaking and holding her so tightly that she can't even breath.

That's when she lets the tear fall. She's not sobbing, but there are just a few loose tears.

"I love you," she breathes, almost silently. Its been almost a month since she's told him the last time, and it feels so good and right coming off of her tongue again. She can't lose him. She won't. "I promise. But you have to promise me the same thing. I can't give something like that with no return."

He tucks her head under his chin and tries to pull her even closer, but its not even possible. Its like he'd forgotten how good it felt to just hold her, to breathe her in, to be her everything.

"I promise. You and me. Forever. No matter how bad it gets."

Hell, in that moment, she'd even marry him, if he'd asked. They've still got a long way to go, but today was important. She realized that she really could never leave him. She realized that she is ready to commit to him. He knows that she's in it for the long term. He knows that she still loves him just as much as he loves her. That they're really not ready to end it. They never will be.

She pushes her head out from under his chin and finds his lips with her own. His hands roam up from where they'd been during the hug. Up her back, shoulders, neck, until they find her face. Their kiss is feverish and hard and desperate. Desperate for something to hold on to, desperate for intimacy. Desperate to show the emotions they just worked out.

Their love story didn't reach its final chapter today. There may even be a sequel one day.


	13. My Boys

A/n: It's evident that I didn't do anything productive today...

* * *

She stretched, rolling her neck and arching her back against the pillow. She was tired, but there was no way in hell that she was going to sleep right now. She was also in pain, but at this point, she was just sore and she'd had enough medication that she was more numb than anything.

She glanced across the room, seeing her husband in the subtle light of the window. The sun was getting ready to rise, and the clouds were illuminating his figure. With her head back against the pillow, she grinned and said, "baby's first sunrise."

He didn't say anything back to her. They stood by the window until the sun came up, and then he walked back over toward her bed.

Maxwell Andy Deeks was born at 3:58 on this beautiful Thursday morning in January. It was the most absolutely exhausting and grueling and ultimately amazing experience either Kensi or Marty had ever had. After he'd been born, she'd been too weak and shaky and downright nervous. She didn't think she could possibly hold the baby when the nurse offered him to her. She had visions and fears of dropping him, and she wouldn't allow that to happen. After Max's initial check-up, the nurse had handed him to Marty. He'd sat on the edge of Kensi's bed, where she kissed him and rubbed the fine blond hairs on top of his head.

But she hadn't held him yet.

She was never the one who wanted kids. She never desired to have a baby. Not until she fell in love with Martin Deeks. Upon their marriage, she had no greater desire than to carry his baby, to mother their child. And she loved Max from the moment her pregnancy test came up with a little pink plus sign. But he was the one who'd been waiting for this day for his entire life, and watching him hold Maxwell in his arms filled her with joy and happiness. He deserved to haul that baby around like his pride and joy. But it also filled her with a need and aching of her own, to hold him in her own arms.

It was past 7 am, and the baby was now over three hours old, and she still hadn't held him yet. But she can't quite ask her husband to give him up yet.

It didn't occur to him that he might say no.

It was a little after 8:30. A doctor or two had come back through to check on them all, and after they left, she'd asked. Her baby was born almost five hours ago, and it was really not okay that she hadn't held him yet.  
"Can I hold him?"

He looked up at her, giving her the 'deer in the headlights' stare.

"Him?" He asked, like a doof.

"Who else?" she asked, mockingly.

"But I haven't even gotten to hold him that long," he said, whining.

"You've been holding him for like three hours."

"You held him for nine months."

"Not the same thing," she said, shaking her head.

"That, my dear, would have been an appropriate time to say touché."

She glared.

"I'm sorry, Kens. I just don't wanna give him up.

"You realize letting me hold him doesn't mean he's going to dissappear, right? You can have him back in like 20 minutes, I just wanna hold him. Plus, I'm supposed to start nursing him soon anyway."

"20 minutes my ass," he whispers. "Same thing's gonna happen to you that happened to me."

"Geez, what is it? What miraculous thing happened to you?"

"He stole my heart."

Kensi rolled her eyes and smirked, sitting up straight. He was being cute and charming, but he probably wasn't lying. Regardless, she's holding her baby this instant.

"Marty. Baby. Now."

He frowned and scrunched up his eyebrows, but he walked over to her and gently placed Max into her arms, uttering "Careful, careful," over and over.

She wanted to be angry at him for being so dumb and immature all morning, but she could just tell he was exhausted and happy and high on life. She couldn't blame him.

Finally, she held him in her arms at last. Her heart wasn't stolen, as he'd predicted, because he'd already stolen in. Carrying him for the last nine months had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done, harder than any case or taking any bullet. But it did leave her already feeling bonded to her little man. He had her heart a loooooong time ago.

She stared at all his little features. His nose: his father's. His hair: his father's. Damn, was the kid hers at all?

Yes, he was. He opened his little eyes and suddenly, she was looking into tiny chocolate brown orbs. His eyes: his mother's. He was so handsome.

Marty quietly asked if he could sit next to her, and of course she agreed. "Sorry, Maxwell buddy. I know Mommy's perfect, but you'll have to share her with me." He kissed his son on the nose. Kensi tucked his head under her chin, pulling him into her chest.

"My boys, my boys. What am I going to do with my boys? I just realized there are going to be three boys in my house."

"Love us a lot," Marty said. "And hold us."

"I'm not going to hold Monty."

"He'll be so offended."

"You can hold him. I'll hold Maxwell."

"No no," he said. "I think Monty will be just fine. I think Maxwell will need a lot of Daddy time."

"Mmhm. I bet he'll need a lot of it, like two months from now at 3 am."

"Don't even care," he said happily. "Don't even care."


	14. Furniture shopping

She's feeling quite flirtatious. That might be because she's sitting on his couch in nothing but one of his LAPD shirts and a pair of pretty lacy panties. Her feet and legs are tucked beneath her, and her toe toys with a tiny tear in the seams of on of his couch cushions.

Over their morning, in which she doesn't even bother to get dressed, she continues to probe the cotton and hole in the couch with her foot, and by noon, its a gaping hole, big enough that Monty could even potentially get a paw lost in there. It may have been hours later, but she still wasn't wearing clothes and she still feels flirtatious. She's not even trying to hide the tease in her voice when she shouts, "Deeks? I think you need a new couch."

He examines the hole in the old couch. He shakes his head, laughes, and agrees.

"Its not even my couch anymore. You practically live here. Don't you think you should get a say in my new couch?"

"You want me to go furniture shopping with you?" she scoffs.

"Yeah, I do," he says, grasping her hand and weaving his fingers in between hers.

"Don't you think that I might try to convince you to buy the ugliest couch in the store?"

"I'll sit on any couch if its with you."

She playfully taps his thigh, with a pissed off look on her face. Its an alternative to actually hurting him, but she's learned that it gets the same affect. Minus the actual pain, but he still gets her point. Plus, it gets her hand on his thigh, and that always leads to good things.

And it also keeps them from actually going couch shopping.

She doesn't want to get dressed and she wants to get tangled up in him, so the couch can wait for another day while their activities move into the bedroom.

"It looks kinda small," Deeks says.

"I know," she says, but doesn't budge. "But I like this one."

He sits down next to her, and he sees what she means. It is a cozy couch, but he can't get past the fact that its more like a loveseat than a couch.

She doesn't leave her chosen couch willingly, but he drags her by the wrist to a few others. But she keeps drawling back to the one she picked, and he can't figure out why. Finally, he asks her.

"Why are you so stuck on that couch?"

"Its cozy, and its small."

"Why do you want a small couch?"

She'd started this entire process with a sassy and flirty disposition, but now things were starting to get real, and she wasn't sure if she should say what she's thinking.

"Kensi..."

"Its stupid. Never mind."

He pulls her down on the little couch with him. "I'm sure its not stupid. Tell me. Please?"

"Its not big enough for two people to sleep on," she says softly and slowly, and he senses her hesitation.

"Um, okay? I don't think I understand," he said.

"We've wasted so much time sleeping on your couch, just pretending like there's nothing going on between us. But we're a thing now, and I don't want to sleep on your couch. I want to be in your bed. With you. With no other options."

After hearing her reasoning, it all makes sense. He too loathes the pretending they used to face, and he never wants to go there again. She's welcome in his bed and she knows that now. But having that couch haunts her: reminds her that could still be their way of life.

And he agrees wholeheartedly.

"I've never had a small couch. Could be interesting..." he speculates. He kisses her. "I get it. No more couch sleeping. I agree 100%.I'm sure we'd both sleep better in a bed every night anyway."

"Well, not necessarily, " she suggests, running a finger up and down his arm.

She's such a tease. "I think I should have listened to your warning about being persuasive."

She laughs as his kisses her. "But I don't even care."


	15. Densi Baby Teething

A/n: Well, I got this prompt this morning after the Max thing, so I just figured we'd keep it going with him.

* * *

She comes back into the livingroom with her hands full. A teething ring is draped around her pinkie, a tube of Baby Orajel and a syringe of cherry flavored infant Tylenol in her hand. She's definitely Super Mom these days, in every sense of the word. She can stop bad guys by day, and balance the many tasks of a mother by night.

She is not pleased to find that Max is already asleep when she comes back into the room.

"Are you serious right now?" she asked her husband, who was holding their sleeping son.

"I wasn't going to force him to stay awake. He's in pain."

"That's why he needs more Tylenol," she said, setting down the teething supplies on the lamp table.

She sat down on the couch and wrapped her arms around Marty. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her hairline.

They both stared at the beautiful little one in his arms. He'd grown to be this beautiful little man. He had a mellow but adventurous personality. But ever since teething started, things went down hill. He didn't do a lot of crying, but recently, it had been awful. He didn't want to play like he'd been doing. His entire disposition changed. He clung to Kensi, although as Daddy'd predicted, Max needed a lot of Daddy time. He was a Daddy's boy already. But he cried for Kensi and instead of his usual smiles and cooing, he'd just sit and stare at them. He didn't interact with Monty, didn't follow him around trying to pet him.

She missed her little man's big smiles. She missed hearing his little giggles. She missed watching her husband tote him around the house and play with him.

"I hate this," she said.

"I hate this too," Marty replied. She traced patterns on her husband's back. She wanted nothing more than her son to feel comfort, and the fact that she couldn't fix it for him made her ache.

"Hey," Marty whispered, "he's asleep. He's not hurting right now."

How's he always know what she needs to hear?

Being a parent was a tough job. Being a federal agent doesn't even compare. But being a parent with Marty Deeks makes everything better. Together, they've got this. Beyond a doubt. They're capable of conquering the world. They'll make it through Maxwell's teething too. She pushes herself forward and presses a feather light kiss to Max's nose. Marty follows suit, and in his sleep, Max's nose twitches and he smiles.

They both witness it, and its lights up Kensi's face.

He kisses his wife on the lips. Max stirs in his arms, and he sits him up. The smile on Maxwell's face lets Kensi's heart grow wings. That burdon seems to lighten, because her beautiful boy is okay, even though teething's worn him out. She suddenly remembers that she's Super Mom, and feels the warmth of his forehead and grabs the Tylenol. She pushes the little syringe in between his gums slowly, and he takes the medicine easily. He may be a Daddy's boy, but he behaves for his Momma.

Seeing that his son is a little better than he was before, Marty tries to set him down on the floor, but he begins to fuss. He also tries to give Max to Kensi, knowing that she'd probably like some time to just snuggle with him. But it became clear that Max was just content resting on his father's lap. Max took the teething ring his mother offered to him. He pressed it to his mouth and looked up at his father, his pretty brown eyes melting Deeks.

Kensi was in the kitchen cleaning out the Tylenol dispenser when Monty jumped up onto the couch next to where the boys were sitting.

Marty tried to initially push Monty off of the couch before his wife killed him, but Maxwell grinned at the dog. He reached his little hand out and grabbed the dog's ear. Suddenly, Max was holding the teething ring out to Monty. Monty took it and immediately ran. It all happened so quickly, and then Deeks was shouting, "Kensi, Kensi! Kens! Help!" He was running around chasing to dog, trying to hold onto Max, and losing his mind.

Kensi was startled, and ran from the sink without drying her hands off. Upon seeing the incident playing out on the livingroom, she laughed and dried her hands off on her pantlegs and took Max. She was a mother, she didn't claim to be classy. "You have fun getting that back," she chuckled. "And you're washing it too."

She took Max back into the kitchen with her to get a new ring out of the freezer, and then she settled into the couch with him.

She never saw herself cuddling with her precious baby boy, watching Deeks chase their dog around to get a teething ring back. But sometimes the best things in life are things you never thought you'd have.


	16. how they came up with the name Max

A/N: So, this one requires some backpedaling. How did Kensi and Deeks come up with Max? Why? This is that :)

* * *

The build up to this day had been absolutely excruciating.

There aren't many moments in Marty Deeks' life that he's insanely proud of. He shot his father for a good reason, but he's not proud of it. He's a cop, he does good for the sake of national security. But he has to kill people sometimes, and he's not proud of that. But he is proud of his wife. He's proud of himself for pulling together just enough courage to ask her to marry him. And he's proud that the little one growing inside of her is part his. She is his pride and joy, and that baby is making his world 100% complete.

So yes, waiting until the day that they get to find out if its a boy or a girl has been hard. He's so impatient. He wants it to be a little girl, one that looks just like her mother, with light brown hair and dark skin, with long eyelashes and rosy cheeks. He can already imagine watching Kensi braid her hair after a bath and he can imagine what she'll look like before her senior Prom.

But as much as he plays out that fantasy, he also entertains the thought of a little blond boy with chocolate brown eyes. He wants that too, except, it scares him a little bit. As sure as he imagines his little girl to be all Kensi, he can see their baby boy turning into him, and that's not as pretty of a picture.

But at the same time, it is. Kensi has taught him that although he really isn't that proud of his past, he's not a bad person. He stands up for those who can't help themselves. He's loving, and he's not abusive toward his wife. The thought of hitting Kensi makes him sick to his stomach. The thought of hurting their little baby is enough to make him grab a trash can just in case.

But still. Raising a kid that's inevitably going to be pretty much exactly like him is scary. But luckily, he or she's going to be half Kensi too, and that gives him a lot of hope and confidence. Because while she's been showing him all the reasons that he's a good person, he's fallen in love with all the same things about her that he didn't even think about before. He absolutely adores this woman, and it kills him that there are still parts of her that he's still learning. Yet its so alluring and intriguing to him in the moments that he does uncover something new. He eats it up like she eats ice cream (especially now that she's five months pregnant).

Five months pregnant... four months to go. Four months before he'll hold that baby in his arms, and he can't wait.

But something weird strikes him as she's getting ready for her doctor's appointment.

She's five months pregnant and they still haven't talked about baby names.

Five months.

That baby will be here in four months and the fact that they're yet to even think about coming up with name ideas is not okay.

"Kensi?" he calls, walking upstairs. He hears her call back to him. He finds her lying on their bed, squirming and writhing. Her jeans are almost around her waist, but even when she gets them all the way on, she can't button them. She finally gives up, quits the struggle and relaxes, looking up at him breathlessly. As she's catching her breath, he pads over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of black leggings and hands them to her. As his reward for knowing exactly what she needed, she pulls up her shirt, giving him a view of her stomach.

He thinks its probably one of the most stunning sights he's ever see, and he thinks that every single day. Her bump isn't excessively big, but at five months, she is bulging out just enough that it's clear that she's pregnant and her jeans simply don't button anymore. She's refused to wear maternity jeans, but he figures that there's a point where she'll give up that fight. It's coming.

Before forcing her way too tight jeans down her legs again, she lets him press a few kisses to her bump. She hasn't felt the baby move too many times, but in the last few weeks, its been more frequent. His kisses ignite a fire in her belly, like the baby is blowing bubbles in there, but she doesn't tell him. She know he won't be able to press his hand to the bump and feel it too, and she doesn't want to disappoint him.

She stands and tries to slip the leggings on. It's still hard, but much easier than with the jeans. He finally speaks up once her pants are on, telling her why he came upstairs.

"Has it occurred to you that we're 4 months away from bringing a baby home and we haven't even started to come up with names yet?"

She stops, and thinks long and hard. It hits her like it hit him. What have they been doing?

"Oh geez, what is wrong with us?" she declares, shaking her head. "How did we pull that off?"

He shakes his head. "No idea."

She looks at her watch. Still an hour and a half before her appointment. They've got time to get started.

"Okay, well, lets quit being terrible parents and get started. Before we find out if we're having a boy or a girl, we'll come up with names for both. So that way, we'll act like we planned for this," she says sarcastically.

He kisses her. "That's my girl." They head downstairs. She grabs a stack of paper and a clipboard, which she hands to him, and they settle into the couch.

"Girls first, " she said, rolling her head back. She taps her fingers on her bump, and it's making it hard for him to focus. Doesn't she know everything about that belly fascinates him?

After a few moments of silence, she speaks. "Callie, to honor Callen." He nods, and writes it down under the girls side of the list. He adds, "Samantha, for Sam."

There's a long silence. Lots of thud thud thuding of her fingertips tapping her bulging stomach. He tries to focus. He comes up with Brynn, because he knows that her last name meant something to her. She gave it up for him, but he wants to still give their kid part of who Kensi's father had been. But he doesn't tell her about the Brynn idea. It sounds stupid in his head. Plus, its not like they have to make up their minds right this instant.

She suggests that they move on to boy names. He immediately offers, "Donald, for your dad," but her answer wasn't what he expected.

"No way. Donald Deeks? He'd get laughed into next week." He gives her a look to ask if she's really sure about not wanting her father's name, but she gives him a nod back. He doesn't put the name on the list.

This pause is a long one, longer than the pause while think of girl names. After a century, she finally says, "I've got one."

He picks the pencil up to write whatever she says, and she wasn't expecting her to say Maxwell.

In fact, he hadn't realized what she said until he'd already written the first three letters. MAX. The three letters stared at him. He looks up at her, and she interrupts his silence. "Hear me out."

So he does.

"First off, his name would be Maxwell, not Max. He'd probably have Max as a nickname, but you could always call him Maxwell if you need to. Second, we're Max and Fern. Max does not mean destruction, Max doesn't mean evil and anger. Max does not mean everything bad you can remember doing or saying. Max means love."

It sinks into him. She's giving him the chance to let Max go. Max Gentry can disappear, Maxwell Deeks can change his life.

"A chance to start over," he whispered. "To change the meaning of Max. To make it a good thing."

"Now you're talking," Kensi smiles.

He adds the last four letters to Max. He writes Deeks after it. Maxwell Deeks. Maxwell Deeks. Maxwell Deeks.

He stares at it for a while. "Do you like it?"

He looks up at her, his honesty showing on his face. "I think I do."

"Well, we don't have to decide today. Hell, we might even have a girl."

"If its a girl, we're not naming her Maxine."

She nods, "I can agree to that."

She pushes herself up off of the couch and grabs his hand. He throws the clipboard down on the couch.

"Lets go find out," she says.

It was then only about an hour later that Kensi was lying in the office with the cold gel on her stomach. His hand is all tangled up in hers as the technician presses the 'wand' to her skin. The image appears on the screen, and both Kensi and Deeks are on the edge of their seats. The technician smiles and slides it around on the gel for a few more seconds, and finally makes her declaration. "You're having a boy!"

He chuckles. He's still scared as hell, but he's happy. He finds her lips and kisses her, but both of them are so happy that they can't stop chuckling long enough to kiss properly.

And its only just begun.


	17. You're so sexy when you do that

Okay. So some of y'all know that I'm just a big country girl at heart. Hell, spent 2/3s of my day listening to the country countdown on the radio like a doof. So this one came about thanks to Kenny Chesney's song 'Til Its Gone'. There's a lyric that really stood out to me that fit this prompt and Densi. So that's where I took this lil fic.

* * *

He doesn't understand lipstick.

He doesn't understand makeup in general, really. He doesn't understand how she makes her lashes look so long. He doesn't understand all the intricate details his usually not feminine partner can do with a little brush when she is feeling feminine. And he loves that lacey lady side, but he still doesn't understand how she can do the things she does with eyeliner…

But what he really really doesn't get is lipstick.

She has so many different colors. There's a light pink. She wears it to work most days, its barely noticeable. He notices it because he's ALWAYS thinking about her lips. She has a darker pink she almost always wears undercover. An orangey/peachy one she wears when it matches her outfit.

Its the red that she doesn't wear often enough. And its the red one that really gets him going. For some reason, the sight of her in a dark red lipstick turns him on, and he doesn't know why.

And it totally sucks, because she seriously never wears it. So he's not prepared for her to pad out of his bathroom on a Sunday morning wearing it. It causes him to gasp and his eyes to widden. It isn't a bright red, but it was dark in hue. It was a thin layer, like she'd barely put any on. Still, she took his breath away. But well, she did that without any makeup on.

She notices that he's noticed her and she smiles. "See something you like?"

He nods and growls. Damn, he just wants to kiss her. He just wants his lips on her.

"What is it that you like?" she asks playfully.

He was a puddle of Deeks shaped goo. And he was almost embarrassed. What was the one thing that his beautiful and stunning girlfriend did that made him weak in his knees? She wore red lipstick.

"I said, what is it that you like?"

He gulps. He has lost it. He's not seriously going to tell her that, is he?

"Your lipstick," he whispered huskily. She pauses for a long second, like she's shocked about it too. But then she just smiles.

"Oh, this?" she asks. "That's easy. If I'd known that, I'd treat you to it more often."

She walks over to his bed and straddles him. He reaches out, trying to connect their lips, but he can't quite reach. She closes the gap, but misses his lips purposely, landing her lips on his cheek. The red left a big lip shaped print, but she assumed he wouldn't mind.

She fools around next, kissing the corners of his mouth, almost where he wants her, but not quite. She can tell by his grunts and moans that she's giving him major fits.

Finally, he's had enough of her quick teasing kisses, and he forces control on her. He grasps the sides of her head so that she can't possibly writhe out of his grasp. He presses his lips firmly against his, and she's not going anywhere. Their eyes flicker shut and he just keeps trying to cover every inch of those perfect lips with his.

But even though they're superhuman at times, they still need to breathe sometimes.

He finally realizes that if he doesn't stop kissing her, he's going to pass out. Breathlessly, he takes his lips off of her and rests his forhead to hers. They're both panting like Monty after a long walk on a July day. His hands remain just where they are, and she loves it.

"You're so sexy when you do that," she whispers.

"What, inhibit your movement? Its thanks to your ability to tease me." He tries to entertain the thought of her really wanting to be dominated, and damn, it's making him very very excited.

"No, you idiot. When you kiss me so hard that you actually take all of my lipstick off of me."

He looks at her lips, and she's right. No trace of the red lipstick in sight. She uses her finger to trace the shape of his lips. "It's kind of a good look on you," she states.

He desperately cranes his head trying to see how bad his face is. Luckily, when he finally does see it in the mirror, he has one noticeable peck on his cheek. His lips just look puffy and pink, just as if he'd been loving on his girl.

"So that was sexy, huh?" She giggles back at his statement. She agrees and throws her head back. He takes that opportunity to press a kiss into the pulse point of her neck, and well… its kind of obvious where things went after that.


	18. Callen notices a hickey on Kensi

He tries to pretend he didn't see it.

First thing that morning, Callen didn't see it. Or at least his brain didn't process that he saw it. It might be that his brain was trying to save him from that image.

When he does see it for the first time, he thinks it kind of looks like she got stung by a bee. He almost asks her, but decides it's less important than the case.

A little later, he thinks that there is no way in hell its a bee sting. But maybe another bug bite? A bruise? He thinks of this millions of possibilities. He's not sure why he's thinking about it so intensely. He knows Kensi is a big girl and that she can take care of herself. She doesn't need him looking out for her.

The thought that it was a hickey didn't even cross his mind until that night, when the case was closed and they all went out to get drinks. He'd seen the budding of something starting between Kensi and Deeks. He was one of the people who could honestly care less, as long as he didn't have to see it at work and it didn't affect their ability to keep each other alive. He'd had a notion that things went to the next level between them, but he never saw it.

It was at the bar that things clicked for him.

Because at the bar, the partners became lovers. They were with their work friends, their family. But here was a place where they knew they were allowed to be them. Kensi was tied to Deeks' hip, and anyone from miles and miles away could tell that they were in fact, in love. He didn't mind seeing them be a little more... flirty, in this setting. It was kind of a relief, to be honest.

It was when he saw them kiss that the connection between the red mark on her neck and Deeks was made. A hicky. Duh. How could he be so stupid? He's even got a girlfriend (and a really good one too, one that he really really likes) and yet a hicky didn't even come into his mind.

Although he did have that flash image of Deeks putting it there, which totally made him shudder a little bit, he was proud of the agents. He was proud that they got their act together, that they made each other happy and that they could keep it from affecting their work. He really wanted the best for them. They deserved it.

It was later that night when Kensi and Deeks were lying in bed that Deeks pushed up her chin to examine the hicky.

"Do you think anyone noticed?" he asked softly, tracing his finger around it.

"No one said anything about it, so I guess not," she replied.

He pressed a little tiny kiss to the irritated skin. "Sorry about this," he apologized. "Couldn't help myself."

"Just leave it somewhere a little more... private... next time."

"Come on. You can't tell me you didn't get a thrill out of this. Walking around all day hoping no one would notice."

"I didn't say that I didn't like it, but..."

"I'm teasing Kens. I love you," h" offers.

"I love you too."


	19. First night at home with baby

a/n: So now every baby drabble ends up being about Max. You guys really like abby stories, don't ya?

* * *

It's said that there are some moments in our lives in which time stops. When you can't catch a grip on everything that's going on around you. Those moments where things are happening in what seems to be slow motion. Its like there are so so many things that are happening at once, and they're all so important that you just have to find a way to savor every second and remember every detail.

That's what Marty Deeks feels like on the night he and Kensi bring their son Maxwell home from the hospital.

It's raining, and almost 7PM. He's already pulled the car up to the awning next to the hospital entrance and put their bags and flowers and balloons in the car. He walks back into the hospital room, and he does a double check to make sure they've gotten everything out. Kensi's holding the baby. She's dressed and ready to go. She's still exhausted, but he can't blame her. She gave birth like, all of two days ago. He'd be pretty tuckered out too if it were him, seeing all she endured.

The nice petite little nurse asks if they're ready, and they both nod.

The walk from the hospital room to the car is the longest. She's carrying him, and doesn't seem nervous in the least. That's probably because she's not the one driving home. His hand is around her waist for love and support reasons, and he doesn't seem to mind.

She smiles a 100 watt, slightly embarrassed smile as they walk through the lobby and strangers cheer for them. Its a weird moment, but at the same time, so well deserved. Hospital lobbies are known to be full of anxious family members, worried about their loved ones. But in this particular moment, those fears are inferior to the happiness of a young couple with a brand new baby. It was the kind of scene that only came about in the movies. It was rare and beautiful. His wife's smile relaxes him, but only momentarily.

They get to the car, and she hands him the baby. The nurse advises Kensi of the best way to get in the car considering she's still sore. Meanwhile, Deeks is left to strap Max into his seat.

The nerves are strong. _You know how to do this, _he tells himself. He's practiced with a stuffed bear for hours and hours and hours. Which, by the way, his lovely wife doesn't know he did. There were about four hours on a Saturday afternoon that he said he was 'going to the Clippers game with Sam and Callen' but he in fact never left the driveway. He's thankful Sam and Callen covered for him.

He clips his son in, and rubs his little chin and thinks '_We're gonna take good care of you, son.' _He adjusts the mirror on the headrest, and steps back from the car seat. The nurse asks if she can just take a peak and make sure he's buckled in correctly. When she sees that he is, she smiles at Deeks and says, "Very good, father of the year material."

She smiles as she advises them to drive safety and congratulates them one more time. Deeks slides in his seat and closes the door. Her hand lightly taps on his knee a few times, offering her encouragement.

He drives with more focus than he probably ever has in his entire life, not taking any risks whatsoever. He's got so much to lose, and he's not going to lose it. Finally, upon pulling into the driveway, he finally catches his breath.

Their house. Welcoming home their baby.

The garage door goes up and he pulls the SRX in. He aids Kensi in sliding out of the car, and he decides to make sure she gets the honor of bringing him into the house for the first time.

His partner, formerly Bad-Ass Blye but now Kick-Ass Kensi, caring their little one into their home for the first time is the most beautiful sight. In that moment, they're not federal agents or cops anymore. They're husband and wife, Mom and Dad. And the way she whispers "Welcome home, Maxwell," makes his heart swell.

Their first night at home with him is quiet and sweet. She nurses him on the couch and he takes care of the diapers. Neither of them really sleep, they're both too in awe of how surreal this is. For a while, they just sit, she's in his lap and Max in her arms. His lips find hers and they share a sweet slow kiss.

Slow, like time. Because nothing else really matters to Marty Deeks knowing that he has these two.


	20. LAPD uniform

A/n: Hey, so I don't write smut. Sorry to break it to you all. This and the whole lipstick thing is about my limit. Just for the record :)

* * *

It's been a long, long day.

He came into work in his LAPD uniform. Something to do with a case or whatever. She didn't really care.

All she really cared about was how goooooood he looked in it. It wasn't even that he looked particularly good in it, but it was new and he was a sexy man anyway. It ignites a flurry of dancing butterflies in her belly that she can't control. It gets worse when they end up having work a crime scene together. He's bending over and she's trying not to scream. She has to take a moment just to catch her breath before she gets in the car with him.

She thinks that its just in her head. He's a highly attractive man. The fact that he's wearing... what he's wearing... doesn't change or affect that. Its just him.

But she can't deny the fantasies running through her head.

They're very kinky. Dirty. Sticky.

She tries to calm herself down. They're definitely at that stage in their relationship where everything leads to sex, and she knows that she can pretty much have her way with him whenever she wants. Just not at work. She takes deep deep breaths. They don't work.

He notices that something's wrong with her, but he can't place it. Her uncomfort is echoing through the car.

"Kens?" he finally asks.

"Mmhm?" she hums, snapping out of her dirty, dirty thoughts.

"What's going on?"

She doesn't say anything, like, what could she say? She can't just say, 'You look extremely sexy in your uniform and I can't control myself right now.' That's all that she's got running through her mind.

"Oh my goodness, you're horny."

"Excuse me?" she declares, semi-confidently. But it wasn't confident enough. He saw right through her.

"Its the uniform isn't it?" he adds with a laugh. She bowed her head, trying to hide her embarrassment.

He then chuckled, and pulled her over for a gentle little kiss. "Don't worry Fern," he said. "Case now, but my uniform and I will take care of you tonight."


	21. Maxwell becoming an older brother

a/n: Over the past three days, I've written more fan fiction than was probably healthy. And with this drabble, I put this binge to rest. (Aka, I have school tomorrow.) This was fun while it lasted :) Don't be suprised if it's a few days before you hear from me again. Don't be suprised if I update tomorrow. Just don't expect the mass of Densi I've been producing.

Also the Max thing has gotten huge! But hey, prompts are prompts, and they're so fun. Max is a doll.

* * *

Maxwell Deeks is one very happy four year old.

His life is dogs. He loves Monty. He loves when Monty licks him, especially on his cheek. His Mom however doesn't enjoy it so much. In fact, when she catches it, she sends his favorite pup to the backyard. But he loves dogs. Dogs on TV, dogs in the neighborhood, stuffed animal dogs, dogs that his Daddy showed him at his work.

Besides dogs, he loves superheros. Cartoons are his favorites on an early Saturday morning. After cartoons, he tries to help Daddy make breakfast, but he's too little. Usually he gets to drop the chocolate chips in his pancakes, but he can't get his hand too close to the skillet, because his Daddy warned him that it's very hot.

He loves to run around outside and play. He's got a little red wagon and tricycle. The little boy next door has a Nerf gun, but Daddy was hesitant about letting him play with it. Mommy said that when he turns five, she'll teach him how to shoot one. Until then, he blows bubbles and chases them around the yard with Monty. He can't wait to be five.

He learned that there's a baby growing in his Mommy's tummy. It makes him happy, because he loves his little friend Sammy, his Aunt Nell and Uncle Eric's daughter. He's sad though, because his little brother or sister will be too little to play with her for a few years. He's glad that Sammy is three. He can still play with her while his little sibling is growing.

Maxwell was standing in line to be picked up from pre-k on this special day at noon. He loved school, but he loved being at home more. He was excited to see his Grandma Julia's car, but his Daddy promised him that he'd pick him up today.

His teacher walked him to the car. Grandma Julia hopped out to help him with his seat.

"Grandma, why didn't Daddy pick me up today?"

She smiled, "Daddy had to go to the hospital with Mommy."

Hospital? Oh no! He knew what the hospital was. His Daddy had been taken there when he was three. He was really sick, his Mommy had said. He had a big bandaid and the doctors had to make him fall asleep for a while so they could try to help fix him. Max didn't understand it all, but he remembered that it was scary. He was worried about his Daddy a lot that day.

"Hospital!" Max declared, fear evident in his little voice.

"Didn't Mommy and Daddy talk to you about how when Mommy had the baby, she'd have to go to the hospital?"

Oh, yes! He remembered that talk! That meant the baby was coming!

"The baby is coming today!?" he said happily. His grandma smiled. And confirmed. Today was the day he would become a big brother!

It was a long day at the hospital. He didn't get to see his Mommy or Daddy too much; Daddy said that Mommy needed his hugs and love before he left. He gave his Mom a big kiss on the lips before he left the room with his Grandma.

He was so excited, he couldn't stand it! Aunt Nell and Uncle Eric brought Sammy to play with him. It made the wait less unbearable!

His Daddy kept coming out to tell him that Mommy was okay and that the baby would be here soon. He and Sammy got tired of playing, and Aunt Nell read them a book. He didn't notice his Grandma Julia slip away with his Daddy.

Finally, after a very long time of waiting, his Daddy came out with a really big smile on his face.

"Maxwell, ready?"

He ran over to his Daddy, wrapping his little hand around his father's. He could feel his excitement bubble up inside of him.

His Dad picked him up as they got to the door. "You remember everything we talked about?"

"Yep. Mommy is really tired, and the baby is really small. I have to be gentle and kind of quiet."

"Good. That's my little man, high five," he said. They high fived, and he pushed open the door.

He looked at the little baby in his Mommy's arms.

"Hi, Max," his Mommy said. "Come, sit by me." His father put him down and he ran over to his Mommy's side and climbed up easily.

"This is your sister, Callie." He giggled and smiled.

"What do you think, Max?" his Dad asked.

He stared at his baby sister. "I love her. She's cute! "

Both his Mom and Dad giggled.

"Can I touch her?" he asked, looking up at his Mommy.

"Of course," she agreed.

He pressed finger softly to the top of her nose and then giggled.

He turned his head up to give his Mommy a kiss. He then gave on to little Callie and grinned.

"Hey, what about me?" his father demanded.

He reached up for his Dad, who stood behind him. He gave him a long hug.

Maxwell Deeks loved his family.


	22. the radio station

A/n: One today, just one. No surplus. That's healthy right?

* * *

_Kensi Blye, get the hell over yourself._

It's been a long couple of days. Their first stakeout together as a couple was fun, but the second, the second not so much.

She discovered on the first day of stakeout-ing that he'd changed ALL of the radio presets in her SRX to the exact same station. It kind of just annoyed her at first, but now she can't remember and or find her favorite techno station and its pissing her off. The station he's set it too isn't bad- it plays a mix of just about everything. But its not her station and it's not what she wants.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. Because not only will he not let her touch the radio dial for all three days of their stakeout, but he's also jumpy and on edge. She doesn't understand what's going on until after the stakeout is complete, and she's sitting on his couch that night.

What's been on his mind?

She hasn't told her mom that they're together yet.

And she thinks its the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. Her mom is a Hetty, in a way. Kensi doesn't really have to tell her things, and somehow, she just knows. She asks her daughter about 'Marty' all the time, and it just… it doesn't fell necessary to call her and say, "Yeah, um, we're together now."

It bugs him that she hasn't told her mom, and she doesn't understand _why._

So naturally, they bicker about it. But this time, the bickering begins to drift into an fight, and then, a heated argument. And suddenly, they're having their very first fight as an 'all in' couple.

They say some things they don't really mean, and she decides to leave. She doesn't leave on the 'we're done," note, because well, that would just be stupid, considering the things they're arguing over. But she decides that they just need space.

But she doesn't want to go home. Her bed smells like him and she won't be able to sleep anyway.

So she just drives.

With that stupid radio station still blaring.

Its around 11 when it comes on. The DJ quiets from a joke, and sighs.

"We got this really cute e-mail the other day. It's from a guy named Max, and he's telling us about his girlfriend, Here, let me read it.

_My girlfriend and I, we haven't had it easy. It's been a long, hard ride. But I wouldn't trade any of our hardships. Because without all of those things, I might not have her. And she's worth it. She's worth it all. Can you play a song for her? I love you, baby girl."_

That's when she realizes she's got to get over herself.

She doesn't hear much else, not the DJ's words. All she can think is, _that was him. It had to be, right? Max. Baby girl._

Bless the Broken Road plays in the background as she stops he car and turns around to back to him. She's over her stupidity. It was silly. There was no reason to get frustrated at him over wanting someone to be proud of him, proud enough to tell her own mother they're dating. And she's the one he cares about.

_The one he loves. _

She's just got to get back to him. Because he is home. He's the one she loves too, and she's got to go tell him that.


	23. Densi Baby (but they're not together)

"You told Nell the baby was a girl before you told me?"

Does he sound mad? Because he is.

"Yeah, she asked. I told her." Kensi shrugs nonchalantly. He didn't bother to go with her to her appointment, so she didn't bother to tell him it was a girl first.

He wants to just scream. Shout it from the rooftops. He's always wanted this for them, a baby, a family, but this… he didn't want this.

He doesn't realize all he has to do is take it, take what he wants. He didn't realize he was welcome at her appointment, and that is the root of their problem. Communication is back to biting them in the ass again.

"I'm the her father, Kensi. You have to let me be that."

"You have to act like your her father, then."

They challenge each other a lot these days. It's not pretty.

He sighs. "Do I at least get a sonogram picture?"

She sticks her finger in the air, and reaches across her desk for one.

"Yeah, this one is yours ."

He takes it, and suddenly, he's looking at his little girl. Their little perfect mistake. And although she wasn't intentional, he loves her already and he can't wait to meet her. To be the best damn father ever.

"Its kind of a cool thing," she said. I wish that, I don't know, you'd come with me sometime."

He looks up from the sonogram. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Like you said, you're her father."

Her mouth says those words, but her eyes tell a whole different story.

For once, he gets the notion that maybe one day, they'll work this out. That maybe their current situation isn't as bad or as complicated as it seems right now.

You know what they say, a baby changes everything.


	24. Chapter 23 Con't

She's eight and a half months pregnant and they still don't have their shit together.

They have decided that their daughter would be named Marie, for her middle name, the first three letters of his first.

The big problem here is that Kensi's going to burst any day now and he doesn't even know if she'll let him be there when she's labor. Sure, he did start going to prenatal appointments with her, but that means nothing. Birth is a private and personal experience, and if she doesn't want him in there, he won't be. No matter how much he wants a baby with her, no matter how much he wants to hear that first cry… he won't if she says no.

But he doesn't know how to ask her that.

Also, arrangements will have to be made for after the baby is born. They both agreed breastfeeding would be the healthiest route, but that means he won't have her with him much. He has literally no baby stuff in his apartment- she has everything.

He's supposed to be a father, and from the looks of things, he's really not going to be very much of one. It kills him.

But he's TRYING to be. He wants to be! But right now, her body is doing all the work and he's watching from the sidelines. Unable to help her, unable to be there.

That's why he shows up at her place.

Its not like they're being hostile toward one another, although they haven't been that friendly either. But things are weird. They didn't plan for this to be how it turned out, and now they're stuck dealing with it.

She waddles to the door, and lets him in, obviously not to happy that he's there.

"We've got to figure out how we're going to do this," he says.

"Don't you mean, I'm the one who has to figure out how I'm gonna do this? There's a human inside me, one that I have to keep alive, and you have no control over that."

"I want to help, Kens. I need to help. But I don't know how. I don't know what you need. I don't wanna miss her life, miss her first days because I didn't know how to be a part of your life."

"You act like I hate you or something."

"The feeling isn't love, obviously."

"But I think it used to be," he corrected strongly. "Or at least, I loved you. Probably still do, if I could see past how confused I am right now."

His statement shocks her. Chills her to her very core.

She knows they've had some issues with miscommunication, but have they miscommunicated love out of their partnership? They have indeed.

"I loved you too," she says, after a moment.

His heart races, head twirls.

She sighs. "We're bad at this. But she," Kensi said, pointing to her huge belly, "deserves the very best. And that's you in her life. If you're going to be in her life and if I'm going to breastfeed her, we're going to have to live in the same place."

He pauses. "And you're okay with that?"

"No," she pauses. "but I want to be."

She feels a familiar rumble in her stomach, followed by fluttery light kicks. It's enough to almost knock her over, so she leans against the wall and grips the counter just to be safe.

"Come here," she motions for him to come. When he does, she presses his large hand to the swell of her belly with strong pressure.

And there, he feels the baby kick for the first time . She's never shared this with him before.

He feels like she's giving him this as a peace offering, a gift.

She then starts to tell him what she needs.

"I need you to be with me when she's born, because labor scares the hell out of me. You're my partner, Deeks. I don't care how much we screwed up. You're still the only one I trust."

"Done," he said.

"I need you to work with me. Try to help me make this work. I wanna find that place where we're um.. where we're in love again. I know it's not going to be easy. But it's what we have to do, okay? And not just for the baby. Because I need you, and I'm tired of pretending I don't."

He nods. He feels some weight lifted.

"I need you to learn how to change a diaper, because I have absolutely no idea how to."

He laughs, although the fear on her face makes him regret it. He can do that too.

"And I need you to do something romantic to me, because I'm pregnant, and I've been needing this for eight and a half months and there's hormones and I am a _woman _after all."

He laughs. He understands. He's been wanting to feel the baby kick. Cuddle her. Stare at her bump. All those stupid things that the one who puts the baby in her belly is supposed to get to do. He knows they have many, many problems. There's a lot of struggle up ahead. But right now, she craves his touch and he won't deny her it.

He leans down, glancing up for permission, and she grants it. He lifts her shirt up and presses a long, sweet kiss to her stomach. Kensi feels the baby flutter under her father's touch, and she melts.

That kiss might just ignite a few more, maybe even a few to her lips.


	25. Superbowl

"You got Superbowl plans?" They were packing up, getting ready to leave the office.

She shook her head. "Nope."

"You should come over," he said, "that is, assuming that you're a Seahawks fan."

She laughed. "No, not getting involved in that, but I might come over…"

"What?" he laughed. "You're not going to be cheering with me? Or betting something insane against me?"

They took off down the hall and out of the office, as she replied. "The Colts should be playing."

"They lost. By a lot."

"Yeah, but the Patriots cheated."

"It wouldn't have mattered! The Colts suck. Andrew Luck is no Peyton Manning."

She shook her head at him. "Uh uh. Too much controversy. And Luck isn't that bad at all."

"So you'll have to cheer on the Seahawks with me."

She chuckled. "No no no. You'd get too much pleasure out of that."

"So you're a Patriots fan now."

She rolled her eyes. "No."

He groans. This isn't as fun as he'd hoped.

"I'll give you this. I'll bet that someone from the Seahawks accuses the Patriots of cheating by at least halftime."

He raised his eyebrows at her and leans against his car. "Yeah, okay. What's in it for me?"

"If I lose, I'll wear nothing but one of your old shirts to bed for a week."

He shook his finger at her. "Nuh uh. You already do that."

"I wear your shirt, AND panties."

He realized her implication, and he smirked.

"Hey, hold up. What do I get out of this?"

"If I lose, I'll wear nothing to bed for a week."

Her eyes narrow and she tries not to get turned on, but damn. Damn.

Either way, that's going to be a very, very good week


	26. You save me

In their relationship, there are many opportunities to play the superhero, the one who has to save the other. Whether it's from crazy terrorists or bank robbers or psycho navy wives, there's always someone trying to kill them.

Sometimes, though, they even need saved from themselves.

The worst possible thing happened. He was taken hostage after an undercover op gone wrong. He fought like hell, he didn't lose his weapon this time. He kicked some major ass in there, but that didn't mean he wasn't ultimately tied to a chair and smacked around.

Kensi didn't even ask her superiors what the plan was for getting him back. She made her own. She got her bad-ass Blye face out and went and shot some bad guys.

She didn't hesitate to cut at the ropes, freeing him. She refused to let her emotions come into play yet, she pulled him out of the chair and pushed him to walk with her. He wasn't bleeding as he was last time- he walked away from it. Kensi made him at least check in with the paramedics, who put some antiseptic on a cut by his eyebrow and prescribed ibuprofen and ice for bruising and swelling.

It scared the shit out of her that this had happened again, but she didn't let herself shut it down. He's not sure when it really sinks in that he got tortured again, but it was at OPS most definitely. All of the sudden, it hit him and well… it wasn't pretty. He sat on the couch and just stared around at everything, like he was lost.

There aren't a lot of times that Callen has directly given Blye his permission to be touchy feely in the office. Once after a really close call with an arms dealer who almost took off her head, once after he was undercover without her for a week. But still, her team leader's nod was alllll she needed.

She slowly made her way over to him. His cheek was turning a fine shade of purple and his entire face swollen. She sat down next to him, and placed her hand on his back. She rubs it around in slow, sweet circles.

"You doing okay?"

He doesn't even look up at her. She feels like she's losing him.

Except she refuses to.

She won't let him block her out this time.

He starts to say something about needing time and space, but she stops him.

"Oh no you don't. No repeats of the last two years, uh uh." She presses a really soft kiss to his eyebrow and rubs her fingers gently over the bruise rising up. "I'm not leaving you. Not again." Her fingers dance in his hair as she pushes his 'bangs' away from the mangled skin.

He doesn't know it, but that's what he really needs. Even when he can't see it in himself, there she is.

She can save him from himself every time.


	27. Parent Teacher Conference

"Oh my goodness. What did he do?"

"It's Max we're talking about here, Kens. It's probably nothing. I'd be more concerned had it been Callie's teacher."

They were sitting in their son Max's 5th grade classroom. His teacher had called them in for a surprise parent teacher conference.

Generally speaking, if they're called into their children's school, it's because of their 7 year old daughter Callie. Deeks remembered being afraid of having a son that was just like him, but no. Maxwell, now 11, was pretty much an angel. Perfectly behaved, very kind. It was Callie who was his nightmare child. Wild, daring, reckless. She had good intentions, but she was a force. She took control and did as she pleased… which generally didn't go over well in school. Callie was a little Kensi, which meant that she was of course adorable and sweet, at times. But definitely the one they get most of the phone calls about.

But to be honest, he loved his kids more than life itself. He wouldn't trade his 'crazy Callie' for anything. She might give him headaches, but she's beautiful and smart and so Kensi that he can't stand it. Max is his pride and joy. His son. His daughter.

Suddenly, the classroom door opened and Maxwell's teacher, Mrs. Norris, walked in. She smiled, and approached Kensi and Deeks with her hand out.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Deeks, so glad you could come."

"Yes, um, Mrs. Norris. Marty and I, we're kind of concerned as to why you requested to speak with us. Is something going on with Max? Is he misbehaving?" Kensi asked nervously.

"Maxwell Deeks? Misbehaving? Never. I didn't mean to alarm you. I should have made that clear. I was actually going to let you about his actions the other day. I'm sure you recall the armed intruder situation earlier this week?"

Recalled? Ha. Recalled.

They'd been sitting in the office doing busy work when Sam came in with Callen from OPS with solemn looks on their faces. There wasn't any time wasted before Callen explained the situation.

There was a gunmen in Callie and Max's school.

Luckily, the gun wasn't even armed. No one was injured, but like hundreds of other parents, Kensi and Deeks were a wreck. They couldn't get to the school fast enough, and held their babies for far far too long that night.

"Yes, of course, we know." Deeks said.

"Well, during the situation, Max, he, he was really calm." Ms. Norris said. "But he was very aware of the situation. He asked me how he could help, which of course, I couldn't let him help. It's my job to keep him safe. But he informed me a few kids weren't in safe enough places in the classroom, still in view of the window. And suggested that if we were going to stay put, we needed to not only baracade the door, but tie the handle with a belt. Jam it. Had there been an actual shooter, Max could have potentially saved all of us. In fact, we're all going to be changing some of our protocol, as something similar also happened in Callie's classroom."

Deeks smiled at Kensi, knowingly.

The school didn't know that they were law enforcement. They have a cover to maintain. Couldn't lie about their names and the office knew, but the individual teachers… different story. But in this case, they knew it was better to tell the young teacher rather than let her think they were raising assassins. Hetty had already put her two cents in on this one.

"I just wanted to express how greatful I am for your son. Max is just a pleasure to have in my class. I don't know how he could have known those things. I've been to countless training meetings for these situations, and I just wasn't prepared."

"We appreciate you sharing with us." Deeks said. "But I think we have a confession to make."

She looked at them a little funny.

"Marty isn't a high school history teacher, and I'm not a personal trainer, as you have on your record," Kensi said.

"Kensi is a federal agent. I work with her team as an LAPD liaison with NCIS," he said.

"So Max…"

"Knew exactly how to react and what to do," Kensi added proudly.

"We're sorry we kind of lied to you before. It's the nature of the job."

The young teacher was obviously in shock.

"This is a, um, a first for me. Wow. So that's why…"

"My daughter is an angry child? Why yes, I'd say so," Kensi said.

"Hey, I monitor Callie's lunch, she's really not that angry. She's not Max, but she's got a fiery spirit. She'll do great things," Ms. Norris said.

Kensi smiled, locking eyes with her husband. She leaned into his shoulder informally. "Hey, somebody likes our kids beside us," she told Deeks. Deeks was too busy being proud to actually say anything.

They did make some pretty damn good babies.


	28. Callie in trouble

Kensi looked down at the piece of paper in front of her. It had been sent home in Callie's 'take home folder' from her second grade class.

She'd had recess detention three days this week. Monday and Tuesday were from last week's recess debacle. Callie may have gotten a little rough with some of the third grade boys on the soccer field. A little rough? No. She held those third grade boys down until they were begging for mercy.  
She got to go to recess on Wednesday and Thursday, but she wasn't allowed to play soccer anymore.

That's ultimately how she got detention Friday.

According to the paper in front of her, Callie had thrown a punch.

Everytime her daughter got in trouble, Kensi would find a behavior worksheet in the folder. It was part of the school's positive behavior program, which encouraged the kids to explain why they did what they did and what they should do in the future. Kensi thought it was a stupid process, but Nate suggested that it maybe wasn't. Since Callie was a little rebel, Nate had been meeting with her recently to see what was really going on. Kensi had Deeks had reported to the school far too many times for stuff like this. So far, Nate couldn't find anything more than 'like mother, like daughter.' Deeks had his own theory, though.

Kensi was reading her daughter's most recent sheet, when one answer caught her attention.

Ultimately, Callie had punched the boy because he was 'annoying' her. But the final question was "What have you learned from this situation?"

And Callie had written in her little handwriting, "You can't punch boys you like."

Deeks then came down the stairs from tucking Callie in bed. "Do you want me to go pick Max up from band practice?"

She turned to him and held out the paper. "Read this."

He narrowed his eyes and took the paper, reading it carefully.

"Oh my goodness Kens. I didn't know our kid could become any more like you."

"Shut up!" she said, slapping his thigh, but gently. He raised his eyebrows at her, and she rolled her eyes. Of course she just did that.

"This is a problem. A serious problem. We have to do something about her behavior issues. Roughing up boys isn't that bad, but punching now? It's crossed the line."

He chuckled. "Hey, remember that time she convinced half her class that she had x-ray vision?"

She looked at him dumbfound.

"And that time she wrote a letter to Sam thanking him for his service in the Navy?"

She started to realize what he was doing. He walked over to the fridge and pulled it out from under a magnent. "Remember when she drew you this after you cracked a rib?"

The drawling was two raccoons, a pink one and a blue one, with a big 'cornflower' blue heart around them. The pink one was eating a fern, and there were two smaller raccoons at the bottom. She'd written Mom and Dad and Maxwell and Callie under the respective raccoon. She took the drawling and held it to her chest.

"What I'm saying here Kens, is yeah. We need to punish her for this. We have to lay down the law this time. But she's not a bad kid. She's caring and silly. But she also sees us every day, especially you, kicking bad guy ass and she wants to be like you. She may not know everything about our jobs, which is honestly a good thing. But she knows that we're the good guys. She just wants to be like us. She doesn't realize her school isn't the place for that."

She rolled her eyes and leaned into her husband's chest. "I love her to death, but why couldn't we just have boys?"

"Boys are easy," he said. "There had to be a little girl with pretty brunette curls that stole my heart just like her momma."

"You really think she wants to be like me?"

"Oh, its obvious. You're her world, Kens."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It may not look like it now, but yes. Its a very good thing. Your beauty, intelligence, drive… she's going to be that. We've just got to help her through this."

She kissed him, long and slow. "You go get Max. I'll go talk to her. I know she's not asleep."

He gave her one last squeeze and grabbed his keys. "Good. Love you babe."

"I love you too."


	29. 17 Again

There's a feeling igniting her entire body, one that's familiar, but at the same time, brand new. Thinking about it makes her head hurt.

So she snuggles deeper into her boyfriend's wide chest. The skin contact causes more feelings to explode, which is strange because she's touched him in way less innocent ways before…

They're looking up at the stars from the bed of his truck. They have blankets and pillows and they're all sprawled out back there. Everything is beautiful.

There comes a point where no one's even looking at the stars anymore. Deeks is eating her up with his eyes, thinking that they shine brighter than any of the stars he's supposed to be gazing. Kensi is looking back at him, at first trying not to blush under the loving desire (but not lust) in his eyes. But soon enough, its because she's lost in them.

That's when it sinks in.

She's never had a good love story. Her teenage years were… dark, obviously. No great love stories there. And Jack, well, you know how that went. But now, with Marty Deeks? Her first 100% true love story.

So what is that feeling?

Its a feeling of youth. Its unfamiliar because this feeling is new to her. She's feeling like she's 17 again. So blindly in love with a man who so desperately loves her back. When she was 17, her life was never even close to what this looked like. And now she has it. She feels young and alive and finally, it all makes perfect sense.

She's getting something she lost. Twice. Lost youth, lost a love.

Now she has both.

Marty Deeks can pretty much give her the world. Now what's she going to give to him?


	30. Kensi's favorite seat

"Oh, please, oh, get up!"

Kensi wiggled and laughed.

"Your ass is bony!" he cried.

"Quit whining. There was nothing wrong with my ass last night, or earlier today for a matter of fact, when you wouldn't stop staring at it."

"I can't help it, you have a pretty ass."

She smirked, pushing more weight into the center of his back. He'd gotten a little.. playful during a sparing match, and she'd taken care of that. She was now sitting in the center of his back on gym floor. A little payback never hurt. (Well, unless you're Deeks.)

"Keep it PG13 in here," Callen said, as he and Sam entered the gym.

"Gee, Deeks. What have you gotten yourself into?" Sam called

"I don't know, but it hurts!" Deeks yelped.

"He's a baby," Kensi said, crossing her arms and looking up at Sam and Callen.

"Hang in there, buddy!" Sam called, but still laughing at the detective's expense.

Rolling his eyes, Callen began to walk away, and Sam followed.

"Wait, guys, no! Help!" Deeks called.

"You're on your own, Deeks," Callen shouted.

"Gah!" Deeks cried. His back was absolutely killing him.

She waited a few more seconds before slowly getting off of him and sitting on the floor in front of him. Be let out a huff of air, a breath of relief. She reached out and rubbed nice and slow circles to his back, easing the pain.

"What was that for?" he asked, pretending to be mad.

She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Awe, Deeks. You know you're my favorite seat, even if we're at work."

His back didn't really hurt that badly after that.


	31. Unguarded Kensi

Marty Deeks has been on this journey for several years now. The journey of discovering every single thing that he can about Kensi Marie Blye. To tear down her walls. To fall in love with her.

On days, days like today, he realizes that his journey is sometimes a struggle, but always worth it.

The day after her DOJ interview that she collapsed into his arms and even shed a tear should have been an indication that this day was coming, but it wasn't. They were living in a parallel universe, one in which they're game of back and forth didn't mean anything. It wasn't until she pulled him aside at the ice rink did it all make sense. They put that parallel universe to sleep. They started living.

And didn't they start living.

He started counting all the places he could kiss her, the ice, then the car, her house, his house, Mammoth, then back home, in the kitchen, on the couch, in the bathroom, in bed…

And it snapped, just like on the ice that day.

She let her guard down. How else would she have admitted those things? Have said exactly what she wanted, to be bold with him? This is Kensi Blye. It doesn't just happen like this.

He's uncovered her most pure and most deep string of emotions and not even realized that he did it.

And at the same time that that's sad, its sweet. Its sweet because he's so in love, so desperate to envelope her in love that he missed that detail.

Kensi Blye let her guard down to fall in love with him. Maybe he's worth a lot more than he gives himself credit for.


	32. Following in her Footsteps

I ran through the doors of the hospital. I was trying not to cry, of course, a pride thing. My damn mother.

I've been in this situation time in and out. My father was shot when I was 9 and mom had cracked a rib once and broken her ankle another and there were other injuries along the way. I'd grown up accustomed to that.

I was not accustomed to getting phone calls in the middle of class (let alone my AP Chemistry class mind you, the one that's so hard that I wants to scream) from Max saying calmly that our Mom is in surgery because she took a bullet. That I needed to ditch school and get in my car and get here as quickly as possible.

Max has always been relaxed. He doesn't get worked up about things. His disposition is so chill, and I just don't understand. He's always been their 'good kid' and I've been the 'wild child'. Well, I mean, they did make two kids that are carbon copies of themselves. What did they expect?

Max knew how serious this was too. But he knows it scares the shit out of me, especially considering what I've been confiding in him recently...

I searched purposely for the ER waiting area, and that's when I saw my Dad. I ran, shoving my keys in my pockets and collapsing in his big wide chest. His arms wrapped around me, and he tucked my head underneath his chin. I still wasn't crying, but I might as well have been.

I'm 17 years old. That doesn't mean I'm capable of handling this.

Dad was in fact crying, and I could tell by the way his chest rose and fell. But his hugs always relax me, and this is no time to relax.

I stepped back from him, and he said "She's not well, Cal."

Where the hell was Max?

I turned to see that he was walking right in behind me. "Where the hell have you been?" I asked.

My dad gave me a scowl, but Max replied "I'm sorry, there was a lot of traffic."

My goodness my brother is an angel. But my angel. I leaned into his side and he gave me a long hug. Then he reached out to dad, and there was some sort of an intense man hug.

Seeing a 21 year old Max standing next to my father is like seeing double. I mean, dad is obviously aged, but Max is just, him. So him. Him with mom's eyes. Oh, mom.

My brother grabbed my arm and held me close to him. "How's she doing, Dad?"

Dad shook his head, "She's going to need a miracle."

I've always been a 'momma's girl'. Max tended to cling to dad, but me? Everything was about my mother. And the feeling of losing her was creeping in, and I couldn't handle it. A doctor came out and called for my Dad, and I just needed to run. But Max had a hold of my arm. He wouldn't let me run.

I refused to watch, and turned into Maxwell's chest. I wanted me ears to be covered so that I couldn't hear. Max knew, and whispered down into my ear, "Are you going to tell them today?"

That's when I started crying. I knew on a day like today, with this situation, there was no way I'd make it through the day without crying.

Today I would tell them. I would honor my Mom today. God forbid we lose her, but my mind was set.

Dad came back over to us.

"She's stable. For now. Critical, but stable. Missed her heart by a quarter of an inch. She'll be out for while."

"Can we see her?" I asked.

"In a little bit," he said.

Its the boys of my family. If Mom were out here and Dad in there, our next move would have probably been to find a vending machine for some good old fashion stress eating. And then she'd buy him a bag of his favorite potato chips for when he wakes up. But these boys decided we needed another hug, but more like a group hug, one of relief but still lots of anxiety.

When we finally got to go back and see her, Sam and Callen had come. Max stayed back to talk to them, while Dad and I went. She was asleep. She looked pale. I traced a finger down the length of her arm. The steady reassuring beep of her heart monitor. Dad pressed a long kiss to her lips.

Have I mentioned that after over 20 years of marriage my parents still love each other as much as day one? Because they are and it's beautiful.

After his kiss, I looked up at my Dad. Knowing that Mom would be okay, I needed to tell him what's been on my mind. I wish Max had been with me, but he'd given me all of the strength I needed.

"Dad?" I asked. His hand was laced around Mom's and he looked up at me in a bit of a daze.

"There's something I want to talk to you about."

He looked confused. "What is it, Callie?"

I took a deep breath. "You and Mom, you guys do amazing things. You keep us safe, and you're both strong. And Mom, she's, she's so good. A mother, a wife, a hard worker. I want to be like her, and you, in every single aspect of who I am. I'd like to be a federal agent. I know the risk, Dad. I know what you two do is hard and it makes it impossible to have a personal life, it's dangerous. If anyone knows the risk, it would be Max and I. We've been watching it for years. But I want to do this for Mom. To honor her. She did it. It's shaped her into this beautiful woman that she is. I want that too."

My father looked at me and bit his lip. Come on Dad, believe in me. That's all I could think of. Will he believe in me?

"I, Callie..." he began.

"Come on Dad. Believe in me. I can do this." I said calmly and quietly.

"I most definitely believe in you, baby girl. It's obvious that you've thought this through. And I know you're capable of doing it. But honestly? It scares the hell out of me."

"It doesn't scare me." Mom said groggily, cracking one eye open. I know she can do it. "However, I don't see why you're trying to 'honor me.'"

I laughed in relief. "Mom, you have no idea who you are to me."

"Apparently not? I thought I was Kensi Deeks, formerly Blye? Two kids, two dogs, one a pet, one my husband..."

I laughed again. "Stop it Mom, I'm gonna cry."

"Callie," Mom said quietly. "I know you understand the risks involved. You're big enough and smart enough to make that decision. I think you've learned a lot from me and from your father about how to make partnerships work and how to balance out your life. I think you'll make a great agent. Just know that whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. You don't have to be just like me."

The tears bubbled in my eyes as my dad added, "I agree 100%."

Weight lifted off of me. I could be an agent. They believed in me. I knew they would. Mom yelled for me to lower my head down so she could kiss my temple. She then declared, "Where the hell is my son?"

Well, you know. Like mother, like daughter. There's really no other explanation.


	33. Love

"Mommy, can I have my juice?" Max asked quietly as he played with his fire truck toy on the living room floor. Kensi was sitting on the floor with him.

"Its on the table, do you think you can reach it?" Max was only a few days over three years old, but he was growing like a weed.

"I can do it!" he declared, getting up off of the floor and running to the table. Kensi got up to follow him, worried her little man may not actually be able to reach it.

Suddenly she heard the door click and open, and paws hit the floor. Max darted to the door to attack his pup with a big embrace.

Deeks found her in the living room. "All clear from the vet this year," he said, pulling her into his side and kissing her temple.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too, babe," he whispered.

They hadn't noticed that Max was standing in the doorway after his initial excitement of seeing Monty. Often, Max noticed everyday intimate moments between his parents, but he doesn't understand what they mean. He's heard them say the word love, he's even said it back to them. But he doesn't understand what it means. His Mommy and Daddy say it an awful lot, to each other and to him.

Shyly, he peeps his head around the corner and asks, "Mommy? Daddy? What does wuv mean?"

They both look at each other, dumbfounded for just a moment. How to explain such a word? Such a word that has so much meaning, depth, importance.

Deeks grabs Kensi and pulls her down on the couch with him, and pats his leg for Maxwell to hop up into his lap. Max does, but finds the little space in between his Mom and Dad.  
"You wanna know what love is, buddy?" Deeks asked. He nodded, grinning his signature grin.

"When you care about someone more than anything else on the planet, that's how you know you love them. You give them lots of hugs and kisses," he said, pressing a quick kiss onto Kensi's lips. His lips find the top of his son's head, and he kisses it too.

"When you always want the best for someone. When you love someone, you always look out for them. You cuddle with them, and play with them too," Kensi said, squishing in, pushing Max up against his father's side until he giggled. They realize how hard the concept is to explain.

Max's giggling subsides. He thinks again. "Wuv is really happy, I think."

Kensi smiles. "Yes, love is really really happy."

"Wuv is like," he says, starting to use his l sounds, "when Daddy reads me a story? And when Mommy plays fire trucks with me?"

Deeks nods. "Yep, it definitely is little man."

He turns around, and points to Kensi. "You love me." He repeats it, pointing to Deeks."  
Then he dives into Deeks' chest. "I love you, Daddy." After a long hug, he repeats the process of slamming into Kensi's chest. "I love you too, Mommy."

"We love you, Max," she whispers into his ear.

"More every single day," Deeks says.

Max giggles wildly, and Deeks begins to tickle him. Kensi's heart swells with joy. She's never felt quite loved this much in her entire life.


	34. Cont 22 and 23 con't

Their living arrangements for the past two weeks have been, well, strange. He's on an air mattress in her living room floor. She's getting less and less active every day. She looks like she's ready to pop at any second.

After what has been an absolutely terrible 9 months, they're both hoping that when their daughter arrives, things will get better. Since their moment two weeks ago, things have been better. They can't quite ignore the fact that things haven't been well between them. But waking up with him in her house is a start. It tries to put things back into the normal, the way it should be. When she wakes up and smells fruit smoothies and pancakes. When he finds she's left a towel out for him. Little things that have made these two weeks work.

Her due date is in three days. She's starting to believe that though this baby might be born into a broken home, it might still be born into a healthy one. That's more than she could say before.

It's a Tuesday, and he's back from work. He's walked Monty. She doesn't feel well, and she doesn't know what it is. He can sense that there's something going on, but she doesn't say a lot. He offers to get dinner, but she's not hungry. He offers her a tub of ice cream. She eats half of it and smiles at him. She even shares a few spoonfuls. Just a few. He asks her if she's okay, and she swears she is, that she's just tired. They end up really close together on the couch, snuggling almost.

And it really is snuggling. His arms are around her and she's smiling as she leans into his chest. It's all so perfect and sweet and she doesn't want it to end.

And that night, the air mattress only had one occupant: Monty.

She slept wrapped in his arms, and it felt good, so good.

Until sometime around 3 AM and she wakes up and feels… wet. She thinks she's just still asleep and she ignores it. But only moments later, he stirs too, and then sucks in a breath. He's wrapped around her and she reaches out and touch his leg and realizes he's soaked. They're both soaking wet, and she realizes- her water broke.

"Ew," she cringes, thinking about how gross this is. And its all over him!

He sits up in a daze. He looks at her. He knows something is going on here, but he can't place it. He doesn't know what's going on.

"So, um, I think my water broke."

"Ew," he declares, fully waking up.

"Yeah, sorry. To be fair, I'm also covered in it."

"Wait, shouldn't we be like, going to the hospital right now?"

She shrugs. "Well, I'm not in pain. I feel like you have time to put on some dry pants."

He pulls the damp covers off of him. "Yes, I'll do that."

She waddles out of bed, feeling uneasy. She changes pants too, but it's not really worth it. She grabs a towel and her bag and heads to the car. She lays her towel on the seat and tries to squeeze in.

He's behind her. "The stories we'll have to tell at her wedding."

Kensi laughs. "You're telling me."

They're halfway to the hospital before she begins to feel any sort of pain, and it starts to become real. And Deeks, no matter what, is right there beside her. As things become harder and harder in the hours after they get to the hospital, he's still there. He's holding her hand, and whispering sweet encouragements into her ears. When she feels like she can't take it anymore, he accidentally lets an 'I love you' slip through, and it gives her the strength to make it through the final push.

And they welcome their daughter.

He kisses Kensi's warm cheek and tells her how proud of her he is, but she tells him to go. Go see Marie. Go cut the cord. Go be the prod father. And she's exhausted, but she finds a short smile as she watches him go.

Finally, the moment comes later, in the calm. Once the buzz is over, the pain, the anxiety, the hustle. They find themselves all together in Kensi's hospital bed. Marie was asleep on her mother's chest, and both Kensi and Deeks were staring down at her.

"She's perfect," Deeks said.

"She kind of is, isn't she?" Kensi asked.

Her head found the crook of her neck, and she relaxed into it. "Did you mean what you said before?"

"Probably. What are we talking about?" he asked. He could feel her eye roll.

"You said 'I love you,' but I mean, just a few weeks ago it was 'I _loved _you,' so I'm not really sure where we stand I gue…"

"Kensi," he said, twisting around to where he could press a kiss into her. "Of course I meant it."

"No more air mattress," she said. "If we're both in love with each other, it's time to start acting like it."

"So that means…"

"Yes. I love you too."

"And we both love you," he added, wrapping his finger around the baby brown curl on the top of Marie's head.

A little knock on the window caused them both to look up. It was Kensi's mom, who'd already held the baby.

"There's a bunch of people out here who getting very impatient. Marie's popular. Kensi smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah, send them back. I don't want Sam or Callen to hurt any of the nurses."

Julia turned to walk away, and Kensi's lips found Deeks'. They were going to make it.


	35. Storytime

"And suddenly, the baby armadillo began to feel sad. 'My aunt!' the armadillo called out. "My aunt took my took pet elephant!"

She could hear her husband's thick laughter and her son's little giggles. The Armadillo book was one of Max's favorites- and for no reason besides Deeks' animated readings. Every night she would she would sit at the top of the stairs and listen to the laughter. She'd laugh too, but not loud enough to be heard.

"This armadillo has some serious issues, man!" Deeks said. Max laughed harder, and she could just close her eyes and imagine his facial expressions as he read. It relaxed her at the end of the day, and it made her happy. She may be an adult, but listening to 'The Armadillo' story every night made her happy. It made her smile and laugh and it made her heart swell with sweet love and pride over her two perfect boys.

When she heard the lines "And once the baby armadillo had his pet elephant back, he could fall fast asleep," that Kensi had to brace herself.

As Deeks would tuck him in, Max would tell him goodnight and that he loved him. But then he always said some variation of a phrase that melted her down to a Kensi shaped puddle.

Tonight it was, "Can you pwease tell Mommy that I wuv her too?

It didn't matter that he'd told her just 15 minutes before starting his bedtime routine with his dad. Every night, he'd ask his father to tell her that he loved her.

And it just made Kensi so happy. On her worst days, that little push is just enough to make everything okay. But what follows also usually can do the trick. Once he shuts the lights off and shuts Max's door, Deeks embraces his wife in a hug and tells her himself, even if he knows she heard. And he always adds that he loves her too.

This night in particular, all the 'I loves yous' particularly hit her. Because she can imagine another having another little baby and her son playing with a baby and her husband holdong a baby… and she's so thrilled to be pregnant again.

So she doesn't hesitate. After his I love you, she replies, "We love you too."

It doesn't take him long to figure it out from there.


	36. Chapter 28 Con't

a/n: OKAY. HI GUYS. So the past few weeks have been crazy insane, prompts everywhere, lots of free time, wooooooo. But like, I need to start to get back to life in the real world, so I'm gonna take a few days. No updates. Okay? I won't be gone that long. I promise. Just gonna take some space. I still have about a half dozen prompts, but I won't forget them, and I'll still take new ones too. Just don't expect quick replies because well, I won't touch them immediately. Not for a few days at least. Okay? THANK YOU ALL!

PS: NO I DID NOT WRITE THESE ALL TODAY I JUST FORGOT TO POST MOST OF YESTERDAY'S. KEEPING THIS ALL ORGANIZED IS STRESSFUL.

* * *

"Callie?" Kensi asked, picking lightly on her daughter's open door.

Her little girl rolled over, shielding her eyes from the light.

"Mommy, Daddy already tucked me in."

"I know he did," she said, flicking the hall light off and Callie's lamp on. "Can I join?"

Callie giggled, and pulled her cover back so that her mom could slip in. Kensi ran her fingers through Callie's long curls. "How was school this week?"

Callie shrugged. "It was okay."

"Well, I was just going through your take home folder, and I found a new discipline sheet. That doesn't sound very okay to me."

"But Mommy, that boy isn't very nice to me."

"But Callie Anne, you can't punch someone because they aren't nice to you. In fact, you're in very big trouble young lady."

Callie turned and buried her face in Kensi's chest.

"But Mommy!"

"No buts. Dad and I are very disappointed in your acting out lately." She almost added, 'Max wouldn't do anything like this' but she knew better. She knew that comparing her daughter to her son wouldn't fix anything, but maybe make it worse.

Callie still pulled tighter into her mother's chest.

"Callie, what's going on? Talk to me, baby girl. Being disappointed doesn't mean we don't love you. We want to help you, but you have to tell us why you're behavior has been so disrespectful lately."

Callie turned away and looked up at Kensi.

"Those third grade boys on the soccer field weren't playing fair with the second grade boys. And the boy I punched was teasing me."

Kensi continued to stroke her daughter's hair. The little girl was crying now, and getting more and more worked up. "And when I yelled at the boy in the library a while ago, it's because he was ripping pages out of the books. And I wouldn't let the girl play on the slide because there was a boy at the bottom who wanted to jump out and scare her!"

"Callie, baby, shhh." Kensi hushed. "If all of this is true, why haven't you said anything before?"

"Nobody listens. The only way to get their attention is to actually do something."

Kensi closed her eyes, trying to remember those days. She remembered how cruel kids could be, she remembered her own attitude had been so simular.

"I want to be like you and Daddy, Mommy. I want to help the nice kids. There are so many people who aren't nice. But nobody understands!"

Kensi shook her head, and snaked her arm around Callie's little back and pulled her in to her side.

"Baby girl, I know. Daddy and I, our jobs are hard for you to understand. Yes, there are a lot of not nice people in this world. That's what Daddy and I are here for. You don't have to worry about that. There are lots of ways you can stand up for those kids that get picked on, but you have to learn that violence isn't allowed. Okay?"

Callie nodded. She wiped her eyes with her hands in big motions. "I love you Mommy."

"I love you too," Kensi said. She felt her spirits lift, knowing her daughter's true intentions.

"But one more thing about your discipline sheet... you can't hit boys you like?"

Callie giggled, burrying her head back into her mother's chest.

"Mommy, he drives me mad! But sometimes he makes me laugh! What is this?"

Kensi smiled and kissed Callie's forehead. "If you weren't in the second grade, I might have some tips for that. Try me again in seven years."


	37. Its hard to find time

His hands danced across her stomach, which now was almost just as flat as it used to be. Hey, two kids change things.

His hands just started to graze across her thighs when they began to hear little footsteps come down the hall.

Immediately, he rolled over and pulled the covers up over them both. Kensi wiggled back into her pajama pants. She looked over at her husband. Whoa. That was close.

A little tap on the door rang through the room, and little Max appeared in the doorway.

"Mommy? Daddy?" he asked quietly and nervously, "I had a bad dream."

And of course, Kensi reached down and pulled him up into bed with them.

It was only fifteen minutes or so later that Deeks carried Max back into his room, sound asleep and no long ailed by his nightmare.

He then walked back into their bedroom and smiled as he fell back onto the bed with her. "Now, where were we?" he asked.

She giggled as he pressed his lips against hers firmly... and a cry echoed from the baby monitor.

He pulled away, and they locked eyes, discontented.

She pulled herself up and decended down the hall and returned with a fussy 8 month old Callie and a bottle. She lay her head back against the headboard as Callie began soothing as she sucked on the bottle.

"So much for that," Kensi said, frowning.

"Hey, don't say that," he corrected.

She gestured toward his watch. "Its past midnight. It'll be running on 1 once she's asleep again, and we have work tomorrow."

"I don't care. You're more important to me than a good night's sleep."

"But..."

"No buts, Kensi. Its hard to be parents and husband and wife and federal agents at the same time. And sometimes, you just have to make time for what you really need. And I really need you. I really don't care if we sleep at all tonight."

She felt herself blush. She pulled away from the hard headboard and gravitated toward her husband's shoulder.

"This is hard, but I trust you," she said. "And I wouldn't trade a second of this."

He smiled. "Neither would I."


	38. Callie gets hurt & Deeks blames himself

He only looked away for a second, he swears.

In that second, Monty began to wander off toward the neighbor's yard, and he called Maxwell to bring him back. When he turned his head back around, Callie was on the ground.

She'd just gotten the training wheels off of her bike. She'd been practicing for weeks! Today, this was a big step for her. Deeks had been watching his little girl with such pride and pure joy. He didn't know that all of that would change the moment he looked away.

He ran over to her. She wasn't even crying. But he could see the little scrapes and tiny pieces of gravel in her knew.

"Callie, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, my knees hurt, and my elbows too."

He took a look at her scuffed up elbows. Blood trickled down her little elbows and knees. Max ran down to the end of the driveway.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Max asked.

Max pulled Callie's bike up the driveway and into the garage. Deeks scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the house, ditching her helment with the bike.

He set her down on the bathroom floor and with a warm washcloth, he cleaned out the little cuts. He dried them off and cleaned them with peroxide, and she hissed as it stung her tender skin. He felt awful.

"I'm so sorry I let you fall off of your bike, baby girl. I should have been paying more attention."

Callie looked at him with narrow eyes. "Daddy, why are you sorry? I was looking at Monty instead of where I was going. It's not your fault that I fell off my bike."

He cocked his head to the side, taking in his daughter's words as he placed little band-aids on her elbows. "I should have been watching you closer."

"But I'm seven now Daddy!"

She wasn't wrong. But how does he explain his past go her? And how no matter what, he's always going to feel like he's failing her?

"I know, Cal. Sometimes I, well, I just want the best for you, okay? And I worry about whether or not I'm doing everything I can to be there for you and to love you," he said, placing the last band-aid on her knee.

She threw her arms around her dad. "You're perfect Daddy. I love you."

He melted, pulling his limp arms around his daughter to hug her back.

What neither Deeks or Callie had noticed was Kensi in the doorway of the bathroom, smiling. She'd witnessed the entire exchange. Of course, she knew how good of a father he was. She was able to pop her head in and say "I second that," before she walked in. Callie ran over to her mother and showed off her band-aids.

"Glad you're okay baby girl. How about we go find Max and get a popsicle from the freezer?" Kensi asked.

Callie got really excited about that, and walked on her own carefully, but not painfully.

Kensi pulled Deeks into her by his arm. "One of these days, you're going to have to start believing me when I tell you that you're an excellent father."

Deeks nodded and smiled. "You're right. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't apologize. Just believe in yourself the way she believes in you. The way I believe in you."

He kissed her and she laughed. "Anyways, you owe me a popsicle."


	39. Chickenpox and Deeks cuddles

"How the hell did she get chickenpox? Didn't she get vaccinated for that?"

"Of course she did. You can still get minor cases even if you've been vaccinated."

Deeks ran his hand through his hair nervously. "What about Max?"

"He's been at band camp for over a week, I feel like if he was going to come down with chicken pox, we would have gotten a phone call about it by now."

He's always been the apprehensive one when their kids got sick. She's sensible. She's nurturing. Mother's intuition is what Kensi's mom had called it. Sure, she worried when her babies got sick, but not like he did. She took control, he freaked out.

"Is she okay?"

"It's just the chickenpox. Go see her yourself. Didn't you have chickenpox as a kid?"

"Of course."

"Are you okay?"

He laughed nervously. "Most days."

"Well, that has nothing to do with the chickenpox," she smirked. "Can you please just go now?"

"She's a momma's girl. You know when she's gonna want you. I can do the laundry so you can go cuddle with…"

"Deeks!" she interrupted. "Listen to me. Go."

"No! Really! Monty needs a bath too, and I can warm up some soup for her."

"Marty Deeks, your daughter ASKED for YOU to come cuddle with her. She asked. For you. Get your ass upstairs."

His eyes opened wide and his mouth formed an 'o'. "She asked for me?"

Kensi nodded. "Yep, of course she did. You are her father, after all. She may take after me, but its not like she has a favorite parent."

He pressed a strong kiss to her lips before taking off for the stairs. Sometimes, he just needs a good reminder that he is in fact a capable and responsible parent and he has two kids and a wife who love him more than anything else.

"I love you!" she called after him, a weak smile on her face.

"I love you too!" he replied quietly, before opening the door to his baby girl's bedroom.


	40. This room is the wrong shade of blue

"This room is the wrong shade of blue."

To say that she was pissed was an understatement.

The house was absolutely gorgeous. Perfect, really. Fit all of their needs. Close to work, close to the beach. A quiet neighborhood, and a relatively safe one too. Three bedrooms, perfect for the kids they'll inevitably have. She's already five months pregnant with their first, and she's really anxious about finding their perfect place before the baby comes. She doesn't want to be stuck up in his apartment for the baby's first days. There was literally no reason not to love this house.

Yet he didn't like it. "This room is the wrong shade of blue."

She was mad. Mad mad mad. There's this thing called paint, and she didn't even mind that the room that would become their baby's was a light shade of blue. They could repaint later, or he could do it now, or whatever. That wasn't a big deal.

She started to over think it all. What if the paint wasn't the problem. What if it was… her? The idea of them buying a house together, what if that scared him? What if he was afraid he couldn't handle being a father?

What if that was the problem?

She tried to think it through. It's Deeks. He loves her. They're already pregnant. Most likely, if he was going to take off, he would have left by now. Plus, that's not how he is with her. They have trust. She knows he wouldn't do that to her.

But he could very well not want to buy a house with her. That could be why he's saying dumb stuff like "this is the wrong shade of blue."

Like what did that even mean?

With her conclusion in her mind, she knew she needed to confront him about it.

"Why don't you want to buy a house with me?" sounded demanding and needy, but she needed to know. She needed him to tell her why.

His eyes got real wide. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you don't want to buy a house with me. How we found the perfect place, and you didn't like it because it has one room 'in the wrong shade of blue'," she said, using air quotes.

He shook his head. "Kensi, you misunderstood me. Dammit. Kensi, I didn't mean for you to take it that way at all."

"Are we going back to 2013 here, Deeks? Where we can't communicate? I thought we were over that! I'm five months pregnant, I thought that meant something for us?"

"That means EVERYTHING for us, baby girl." he said, pulling her into his arms. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a little onesie, but didn't show her. He held it behind his back.

"At your last appointment, remember how they said they weren't able to determine the gender of the baby yet, but they'd have one of the other doctors take a look and they'd give us a call if that changed?"

She nodded.

He pulled the little pink onesie in front of her. "They called this morning. It's a girl."

She threw her arms around him, but he tried to keep talking. "The room is the wrong shade of blue. If pink is a shade of blue that is…"

Kensi shook her head. "Shut up and kiss me."

"Yes, mam."

He kissed her, and then twirled her around the little blue room. "I love this house. It's perfect. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Let's go buy a house."

"And tell everyone we're having a girl?"

"And tell everyone we're having a girl."

"Your Mom first?"

"Of course."


	41. That's my boy

"Dad?"

My son's voice was timid, nervous.

"Yeah, Max?"

"Can we talk?"

It's generally not a good thing when your sixteen year old son says these kind of things. But it's Max after all. What's the worst thing he could have done? Forget to do the dishes?

"Sure, how about a drive?"

"Yeah, that works."

I tossed him the keys. He's got his permit now, he needs to practice.

We were on some old back road leading to nowhere when he finally said, "I screwed up."

"Come on Max. What happened? It can't be that bad. You can tell me."

"I kissed Sammy, Dad."

Samantha Beale- Eric and Nell's fifteen year old daughter. Of course.

"And?"

"And? Isn't that, like, bad?"

"That would depend on a few things."

"Dad."

I sighed. Of course this day was going to come. That's my boy.

"Is Mr. Beale going to kill me?"

I shook my head and laughed. "I'd be more worried about Mrs. Beale."

Max gripped the steering wheel tighter, not taking his eyes off of the road.

"What happened with Sammy, when you kissed her?"

"Her formal date stood her up. It was Mark, he's a real ass," Max said. "She didn't even want to go anyway. She only said she'd go because he asked her."

I squinted. This didn't make sense. He and Sammy were close, I knew that.

"Were you jealous?"

The car was dark, but I could almost make out a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Um, well, I mean, its not like I asked her or anything."

"But you didn't want her to go with Mark."

"No, I didn't."

I shook my head. "What happened next?"

"I was in the band room, cleaning up and putting stuff away from our last invitational, and she came in. She looked beautiful, Dad."

"Mmhm..." I hummed. My mind flashed to Kensi, after undercover ops, when she looked so pretty that I couldn't handle it. To when I was jealous of anyone who touched her. I understand what my son was going through.

"And she was just ranting about how mad she was that she got all dressed up and that he never showed up."

"Let me guess, you listened?"

"Of course I did. I was mad that someone would do that to her. Even though like, I want her," he paused. "Did I just say that out loud?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, yes you did." He kept staring at the road intently, refusing to let his emotions control him.

"I gave her a hug, and she told me how much I meant to her. And then, well..."

"You kissed her."

"I kissed her."

"Was she okay with that?"

"At first, I think she was. But then, like, we both started thinking about it, and all the stuff that could go wrong."

"Please tell me you didn't bail."

"We needed space, Dad."

I took a deep breath. "Do you love Sammy, Max?"

"She's my best friend. I'd do anything for her."

"Is she worth the risk?"

"There are a lot of risks."

"You're right. There are a lot of risks. That's what you have to figure out, Max. Your mom and I went through the same thing. We decided it was worth it, and it was."

"What do I even say to her?"

"I can't tell you that, either." I said. "Just say it from the heart. And mean it."

Max nodded slowly. I could tell he was still very conflicted, very scared.

"Thanks Dad. Do you think everything will work out, whatever Sammy and I decide?"

"You two have been inseparable since she was born," I said. "I doubt one kiss is going to destroy that. But I have a feeling it might strengthen it, though."

Max laughed, "I hope you're right."


	42. I love you, Marty Deeks

"I love you. I love you? I love you. I love you! I love you? I love you."

Uhhahagahahahhh.

Why was that so hard? Why couldn't she just say it? Its only three words.

She's saying them over and over into the mirror. Hoping that they'll get easier to say with practice, she moves on with the finishing touches on her make up.

He's supposed to pick her up for a date in ten minutes. Her dress is a pale pink, more girly than usual. She's wearing pearls and her perfume may have had just a hint of shimmer in it.

Putting down her cosmetic bag, she closes her eyes, squeezing them tightly. As she pops them open, she shouts, "I love you, Marty Deeks!" into the mirror.

She can do this.

She opened the bathroom door, and found him sitting on her bed, a smug smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" she asked, nervously.

"I got her early."

"So you came in and sat on my bed."

"You look," he paused, eyes roaming from the beach waves in her hair and the lacy pink fabric at her knees, "stunning."

"Don't change the subject."

"But..."

"Deeks."

"Yes, I heard you."

She raised her arm to punch his bicep, but caught herself.

"Its okay, you can hit me."

"Please never say that EVER again."

"I kind of ruined the mood."

"You think?"

"You practiced saying 'I love you' for twenty minutes.

"Shut up."

"No, I don't mean it like that. It's kind of cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah, cute. Kinda romantic."

"Since when do you like romantic?"

"Since I started dating you."

"Whatever."

He smiled wildly. His eyes and lips were just on fire.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked.

"You just told me you loved me for twenty minutes."

"Technically..."

"Don't ruin this for me."

She rolled her eyes, and sat down in his lap. At the risk of completely screwing her lipstick over, she pressed a sweet kiss to his jaw. "I love you, Marty Deeks."

He grinned into her forehead, and pressed a kiss in between her curls onto her earlobe.

"I love you too, Kensi."


	43. Sammy and Max (Sammy's POV)

He's in the band room. I know it.

I snuck out of the crowded, loud gym. Mark hadn't shown, but honestly, I was kind of glad. I didn't want to be anywhere with that ass. But I was too much of a lady to turn him down.

It wasn't complicated. Found my girls, danced around with them instead. I'm not made for things like this. I could tolerate this scene for a while, but I needed a break.

And of course, knowing Max was just a few doors away contributed to that.

That boy infuriates me.

I didn't even bother to peck on the band room door- I just walked right in. His pretty blue eyes looked up at me. They wandered up and down me, but quickly came back to my eyes.

"Enjoying your first high school formal?"

I shrugged. "Are you having fun skipping your second high school formal?"

He shrugged back smugly. "Band stuff."

"Mmmhm," I nodded along.

"How's Mark?"

"Didn't show," I said, voice raising. I came across more pissed about it than I really was.

He set the box he was sorting through down. "Sammy, I'm so sorry."

"I just wasted my entire night. I got all dressed up for nothing."

"If it's any consolation, you do look great," he said, not even timidly. I was glad Mom had suggested I wear the darker shade of blush, because it was definitely hard to remain calm when he said those types of things to me so confidently.

"Thank you."

He grinned a baby smile. "You're welcome." Just like that, he was back into those stupid boxes.

"You're such a nerd."

"Excuse me?"

"You. Nerd."

"How'd you come to that conclusion?" he said, running his fingers through his hair. His blond curls were messy, but not quite as bad as his father's. Definitely cleaner.

"You say things like that," I said, "and you're in the band room sorting through boxes instead of hanging out with me. And your hair is a hot mess."

He shook his head, flipping his bangs out of his eyes. "Better?"

I crossed the room, closing the difference between us. I combed my fingers through it, pulling a few strands downward lightly. "Better."

He was grinning, and I didn't want to untangle my fingers from his hair. We settled for a short hug. "I'm not a nerd. I do stuff besides band. I run cross country."

"You run cross because _I _run cross."

"Is that a problem?"

"Nope."

"Sammy, why didn't we just make plans to hang out tonight?"

"You never asked me." He didn't respond, so I continued. "And I think that's really stupid, that you're hiding in here, thinking about me."

"How do you know I'm thinking about you?"

"I'm pretty sure you're related to Marty Deeks, and he's always thinking about Kensi Deeks."

"That's true. They're kind of married though."

"There is generally a phase before marriage in which falling in love happens." I took a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing. "Max. Can you just listen to me for a minute?" He nodded, and damn it, his eyes always make things harder for me.

"You're the most important person in my world. You need to understand that," I said.

"Okay."

"You know I didn't want to go anywhere with Mark, right?"

"Right."

"Why did you spend tonight hiding in here?"

"I had to go through these boxes…"

"I know you have a family history with boxes, but these could have waited until Monday."

"If I wasn't in here, we wouldn't be talking right now."

"You know you're number one on my speed dial."

He shook his head, causing his hair to go all crazy again. "It's not the same."

I tried to resist, but I couldn't. We were dancing around what actually needed to be said here. "Damn it Max, get a haircut," I said, as I fixed his hair again.

"You love my hair."

"That's not the only thing I love."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Sammy? You're the most important person on this planet for me, too."

"So why aren't we doing this?"

He bit down on his bottom lip and sucked in a deep breath. "Because this is really hard to do."

I was about to ask him what was so hard, but then his hands were on my waist and his lips were on mine and everything went blank in that moment, because Maxwell Deeks was kissing me.

That thought started out as a really good one. My insanely sweet and beautiful and perfect best friend kissing me? FINALLY.

But as he pulled away, it sank in. Maxwell Deeks just kissed me. My parents' best friends' son. My best friend. He was family, in a way. Not biologically, but Mom and Dad think of Kensi and Deeks as their family. It hit hard, all the things that can change just because of what we just did.

I've wanted this with him. For a really long time. But all of the sudden, it's real and out in the open, and I'm not sure it's a good idea anymore. Not based on my own desires, but everything around me.

"Deeks."

"That's my dad."

"Did we just?"

"Yeah, um, was that not okay?"

I sighed. "This is a lot to think about."

"I guess it is, though."

"Maybe we should think about it?" The 'Nell Jones' in me screamed to stay put, but the 'Eric Beale' in me had me running for the door. I knew if I ran, Max would get the wrong idea and second guess everything. But I had to find air.

"I, I need to go. You'll call me later?"

"Yeah, sure, I can."

And I was gone.

I might have ruined my chances with him.

Mom and Dad wanted to know how it went and if the music was good and blah. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Smothered much? I needed to be alone in my room. I had to think.

Still in my dress, I collapsed once I got to my room, pulling my knees to my chest and holding them there. My red hair was falling from my bun and I didn't care.

I realized I was more afraid of losing him than I was afraid of the consequences of having him.

I might have cried, but just a little. I have more pride than that.

It was a good two hours later. I'd been through the shower, washed all my make-up off. I was wearing Max's hoodie and sweatpants and my hair was in a ponytail. It was near midnight. I lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, staring at the glow in the dark star stickers that still hung up there. I couldn't sleep.

My phone lit up in the dark and vibrated. A text from Max.

"I'm on your front porch."

My parents are going to kill me. I crept down the stairs slowly, crossing my arms over my chest. Slowly I opened my door and stepped out.

"You have exactly two minutes before my mother shows up out here and shoots you."

"I can hurry," he said, "Wait, is that my hoodie?"

"It's your sweatpants too."

He started to say something else, but he bailed on it. "Anyway, I thought about it. This may be a really terrible idea, but you know what? You're worth the risk for me. Whatever we do, you're always going to be my best friend. If you don't want to do this, I'll try to be okay with that. I can't promise I'll be okay with it, but I'll try. But honestly, I want you, Sammy."

"I think that's the most honest thing you've ever said to me."

"I thought it might be best if I didn't take after my Dad in this regard."

"I think you're worth the risk, too, Max." I closed the gap between us as he grabbed the string of his hoodie and twisted it as my lips found his again. Suddenly, the light in my living room flicked on.

"If you run now, she might not kill you."

"I better go. My dad would only give me fifteen minutes of cover from my mom."

"I love your parents." I laughed. "Go. Don't get shot."

"I'll try."

"Text me!" I whispered, reaching for the door handle. He waved his thumb in the air as he took off and climbed into his dad's truck.

I walked in, locking the door behind me. I put my hands up, turning around to see mom, of course, waving her gun at me.

"What were you doing out there?" she asked, putting the gun down, realizing I wasn't a thief or murderer.

I knew lying wouldn't work, because well, federal agent. But hey, it's never stopped me from trying. "Max was bringing me this hoodie."

"I know for a fact that you've had that hoodie for quite some time. You keep it in the bottom drawer of your dresser, next to your..."

"That's enough, Mom. He, um…"

"What was he actually doing here?"

"We had a little, falling out, at formal. We just made up."

"First of all, since when does Maxwell Deeks go to formal? Second, don't you mean made out?"

"Mom!"

"I'm not mad at you, Samantha."

"Neither am I!" Dad called from the top of the stairs.

"He was in the band room, hanging out."

"Well, in the future, if he's coming over in the middle of the night, he should call first. For his own safety." Mom said.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"He's family, whether you two are making out or not. He's always welcome here." Dad said.

"Just don't be surprised if we invade your privacy a lot." Mom said, climbing back up the stairs. "And by a lot, I mean, _a lot._"

"You're not going to condone this?" I asked.

"Why would we?" Dad asked. "How do you think we got together? It all begins with a beautiful friendship. I think Kensi and Deeks would agree."

"You're not going to like, interrogate him, are you?"

"Come on, Sammy. It's Max," Dad said.

"Seriously?"

"Yep, seriously," Mom said, flicking the light off. "Goodnight!"

Maybe this will be much easier than I thought.


	44. Did that just happen?

No matter how pregnant she got, she still loved cuddling on the couch with him. He's insanely fascinated by her body, especially her pregnant belly.

Couch cuddles were a struggle when they were both normal sized adults. Obviously things got more crowded with time. If Monty tried to join into the mix, it got even worse.

To tease him, she grabbed Monty in her arms and held him close to her, giving him the hug her husband wanted. Pouting, Deeks began to scoot down on the couch, resting his head right next to her bump.

"They may be traitors, but I've still got you, right little guy?" he said, then lifting her shirt pressing his ear to her warm skin.

In response, he felt a nice thud against his head. Kensi twitched slightly.

"Damn, that's the hardest he's ever kicked me, she said, rolling her hand around the spot. Deeks looked up at her, eyes wide.

"Did that just happen? Did my son just kick me in the head?"

Kensi giggled. "Yes, yes he did. Looks like he's on our side, Monty."

Deeks looked up at her, frowning. She wrapped her fingers around a few tuffs of his hair and pulled gently. "Good thing our side is also Daddy's side."

To that, all Deeks could do was smile.


	45. Baby Max and Dad

She's been on a three day undercover op. Is it that long? No, she's done longer. But it sucks, because three days away from her husband and her son is too much for this new mommy.

Max is a little over seven months old. He's absolutely precious in every single way! Trying to sleep in the cover house was terrible. She lay awake, waiting for little cries or coos from the baby monitor that didn't sit on her bedside table. She lay there thinking about her husband's strong arms and how they weren't holding her close.

And she imagined him just a few miles away, rocking Max in those pretty arms. And that thought lulled her to sleep those nights.

But now, she's pulling the SRX into the driveway. It's a little bit after 8:30. She only sees one dim light on in the living room, and its obviously just a lamp. Quietly, she unlocks the kitchen door and slips in. She kicks her shoes off in the closet. The whole house is quiet, and clean too. The only things on the living room floor are a baby blanket, a stuffed elephant, and the diaper bag.

Monty greets her, wagging his tail. The pup takes off up the stairs. She follows him, and watches him hop up on their bed. She wants to demand he get down, but before she makes any noise, she hears it.

His sweet voice echos through the room, with little splashes as the backdrop.

She steps into the room and peeks through the bathroom door. Max is sitting in the sink, and Deeks is giving him a bath. There are bubbles floating through the air and the baby is smiling, but not quite as much as Deeks. Max's blond curls are flat against his head, and Deeks' shirt has big wet splotches.

Max reaches out to push the faucet on, but Deeks is on top of it. "What do you think you're doing?" Max smiles as he splashes water on his father again, and Deeks lets out a hearty laugh.

"Alright. Let's get you dried off. Mommy will be home soon, she'll want cuddles."

Kensi pulls away from the door, running back into the hall. She peeks back into her bedroom as Deeks' carries Maxwell out onto the bed, wrapped up in a towel. He shoos Monty off of the bed, and the pup runs out toward Kensi.

"Diaper, diaper!" Deeks called unwrapping his son and putting the diaper in place. "Not gonna get me like you did last time, little man."

She giggles, and suddenly, she hears a loud yap, and looks down to see Monty barking right at her. She tries to shush him, but with no use.

She looks up and sees her husband and sweet son right in front of her. Maxwell's eyes light up as he reached out for her, towel still draped around her.

"How long have you been standing here?"

"Long enough," she stated.

"How dare you," he said. "I should have kissed you the moment you got back."

She blushed. "You were a little preoccupied." He handed Max over to her, and the little one giggled as he wrapped his chubby arms around her neck.

"He missed you," Deeks said softly. "I did too."

"I'm home now," she said with a smile.

"Believe me," he said, finally kissing her temple. "We're the happiest boys in the world."


	46. Vow

Deeks. I couldn't stand you, but suddenly I could trust you. You were my best friend, but you weren't. It was a gun story, a box story, a raccoon story, a cactus story, a love story. You weren't my best friend because you were more. And I don't know who I would be without you. I know that you're not going anywhere. I want to give you that same promise because I love you more than I've loved anything else in my entire life.

She traced over the words written on the tissue paper. Her vows. She remembers them word for word, even though it was an entire year ago that she said them. They were so important, held so much weight and meaning.

She took her gift and rolled it up in her personalized tissue paper. Her heart buzzed as she tried to think it through. What was he going to say? What was he going to think? Would he be as thrilled as she is? It made her bubble with excitement.

Married for a year, and she's just as in love with him now as he's always been. That, or she's more in love. She'd almost venture to say its more. In fact, it is.

He comes home from walking Monty, and her wrapped gift sits on the table. He embraces her with a strong kiss. She can feel his smile on the top of her lips. He's so happy, and she loves that.

"Anniversary number one," he says. "What are you wearing?"

"What are you gonna do, wear a matching tie?"

"No!" he calls out defensively.

"You totally will. Lavender. I'm wearing lavender."

"You think I have a lavender tie?"

"Exactly," she smiled. He began to pad off toward their bedroom when she stopped him.

"Come here. I have something for you."

"I thought we were going to do that AFTER dinner?" he said, bouncing another hungry and passionate kiss off of her lips. "Neither of us will be able to move much after…"

"No! Deeks! No. That. After dinner. This, right now."

"Present?" he asked, picking up the little tissue paper bundle and shaking it around. "But I didn't, my present is in the…"

"It can wait."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Now."

He begins to peel tape off of the thin paper, trying not to rip it. Suddenly, he begins to realize the paper has words on it.

More than I've loved anything else in my entire life.

Those words were ones he'll remember every day for the rest of his life.

"Your vows," he whispered, smiling. He lays the paper out flat, surveying the rip damage. He's so far out there in his thoughts that he doesn't realize what he's holding in his hand. She's watching him and laughing, as he reads her vows again and again.

"I can say those words again anytime. Look at your hand."

He's holding a pregnancy test.

"Kens, why am I staring at a pregnancy test with a pink plus sign drawn on with a Sharpie?"

"Because I assumed you didn't want to touch the one I peed on."

"This is for real?"

She nodded, "Mhhm."

"No way."

"Way."

He presses the test onto the table and opens up his arms. She meets him there, and holds onto her with a crazy strong grip. But it all changes. His forehead is meets her chest and their breathing is in sync. She feels him shudder.

"Oh my, Deeks, are you crying? What's wrong."

"I'm. So. Happy." he says, never moving his forehead off of her. He lets out a breath and an indescribable sound, and kisses up to her jaw and cheek, before pulling her in and cradling her head.

Her head is stuck between his body and his hands, and though its a lovely place to be stuck, she's not done yet. "Don't you wanna hear the story?"

"Story?"

"Yeah. For our anniversary, I was going to give you a pregnancy test. I wasn't going to take one. I was trying to tell you that I was ready to have a baby with you. But I bought a three pack of tests. So I went to wrap the first one and thought, eh, why not? I took one, and well. Positive. I panicked, took the second, still positive. Wrapped the third, and well. Here we are."

"You panicked?"

"I really wasn't expecting it. But like I said, Deeks, I'm ready."

"You're ready." he smiled, pushing a tear away.

"Oh yeah. We're ready," she said, tracing the length of his arm.

"Best anniversary ever," he said.

"To many more," she smiled.


	47. Play Fight

"I can make a mean martini."

"Oh really?"

"Oh yeah."

"Prove it."

She's on her phone, playing some stupid bubble popping game. Pop the bubbles! Save the baby animals! She and Deeks play it back and forth on challenge mode all the time these days. They haven't had such intense rivalries since Trivia Crack. They also argued over who got to be the raccoon character. She won.

She wants a beer. However, they drank the last two last night, and with the case today, he didn't make it to the store to get more. So him offering her a martini sounds pretty damn good.

"You don't have beer but you have the necessary supplies to make martinis?"

He smiles and nods. "Oh yeah."

"Ha!" she declares, shoving the phone in his face. "Beat your high score again. Martini me up."

He smiles slapping her bare thigh gently and playfully. "With pleasure, princess."

"Don't call me princess!" she said, pulling on the hem of her shorts so it covers more of her legs.

She closes out of her game and sees she has a message from Nell.

"Things going good?"

She replied. "Of course. Why wouldn't they be?"

"We had a hard day."

"I know. But Deeks and I can handle it."

"I'm glad. Congrats girl. Night."

"Night, Nell. Thanks."

"Np ;)"

She ditches her phone on his side table and pulls his pink cat pillow into her lap as she stretches out.

She hears Monty jumping and knows he's coming back. She sits up straight, ready to make room for him on the couch.

"That didn't take long…" she began to say. Until she saw what was in his hand.

"What the hell is that?"

"Your martini."

He held two glasses, both full of cotton candy with rock candy suckers sticking out the glass like an umbrella.

"This isn't alcohol."

"But it's sugar. And I did say it was a mean martini, didn't I?"

The prospect of what he just did for her sets in, and not only is it romantic, its just freaking adorable. A candy martini.

"I love it," she says, snatching the one with the blue candy sticking into the sugary cotton.

"Hey! That one was mine!"

"No, that had to be mine. It's blue, you know my favorite color is…"

"Blue is my favorite color too!"

"That's because it's my favorite!"

"Touché, Wonder Woman."

He grabs her wrist and tries to take the candy, but she restrains him, almost spilling the cotton candy.

"Maybe we should eat that before we pretend to fight."

They sit down on the couch, and she settles and crosses her legs between his. She giggles as the sticky sweetness from the martini glass melts on her tongue. He tips the glass back, and the puffy pink cloud fell onto his face. She turned and took a bite of of it, and he laughed and took a pinch off of hers.

Once the little sweet cotton candy puffs were gone, that's when it got fun.

She set the glasses down next to her phone and then began to trace her finger down the length of his arm. At his wrist she twisted, and he pushed at her waist trying to free himself. They rolled and hung near the edge of couch, until finally they landed on the floor. His back hit hard, but that didn't stop him. He flipped her, but she fought back, distracting him with a row of kisses down his neck. He let out a moan, vulnerable enough that she could gain the upperhand.

Once he recovered, he fought for dominance. He fought hard. He too knew ways to blow her mind, to get her hot and bothered just enough to win. When his lips found their way to the waistband of her shorts, right above her hipbone…

"No, don't stop."

"Are you giving up? I get the blue rock candy?"

"You can have the raccoon avatar too for all I care, just don't. Ever. Stop."

He smiled. "So is it going to turn sexual every time we wrestle and play fight from now on?" he asked.

"I sure hope so."


	48. Drive

"Oh no, I'm definitely teaching him how to drive."

"Oh please, you ran a red light yesterday. I'm doing it."

"We were chasing down a Chinese cyber terrorist!"

I heard my sister come up behind me. "Are they still…?"

I turned to her. "Good luck, Cal. When it's your turn, I won't be here to save you from this."

She laughed. "Save me? Please, Max. I can take care of myself."

I smiled. "Of course you can."

"How long have they been going at this?"

I looked at my watch. "15 minutes, so far."

"How long 'til they start making out?"

I thought for a second. "10 more minutes."

"No, no," Callie laughed. "5 minutes maximum. The usual bet?"

"You're on, girl."

She crouched down next to me in the kitchen. I could she Mom and Dad better than she could, but that didn't stop my little sister. Her ear was pressed up against the wall and she was practically on top of me straining to see.

"Kens, he's going to learn to drive from his dad. It's a dad thing."

"Is not!"

"You know you're impatient."

"You're a terrible driver!"

"You call and ask Nell who's teaching Samantha how to drive."

The mere mention of Sammy made my insides melt just a little. I tried to zone back in.

"Sammy won't start driving until next year, leave them out of this. And it'll probably be Nell."

Dad rolled his eyes. "I want to do it, Kensi."

"There we go."

"You know I didn't have best fath…"

"I know you didn't. You're a… decent driver. You just have to tell me what you want. That's what I was getting at. I'm pretty sure Max would die if I tried to teach him. He definitely wants you."

"He loves you too, Kens."

"I know that. But Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

"He has a relationship with you like I had with my dad. That's all I ever wanted for my kids."

Dad blushed, bowing his head in a little laugh. Her lips found his and her hand tilted his chin. Callie started to cheer, but I stopped her. "Not yet."

"I can't believe our baby boy is driving," he said.

"Where has time gone?" she asked. "Seems like just yesterday Callie was home with the chickenpox and Maxwell was off to his first week of marching band camp."

"I don't know where time has gone, but at least I'm spending it with you."

I looked at Callie. She was smiling, and I shook my head in defeat. With that statement, the makeout session began. 4 minutes and 52 seconds. I lost… again.

I walked over to the cupboard and got out four glasses. Normally I'd only have to get one for our bet, but something about Mom and Dad's conversation had me feeling generous. I pulled the ice cream out of the freezer, and began scooping it into the cups. Next I worked on the hot fudge and the cherries and sprinkles, and soon, four hot fudge sundaes lined the counter.

Mom and Dad heard the noises in the kitchen, and soon they joined us. We sat at the snack bar, laughing and smiling. Sharing more memories.

My family isn't normal, but we know how to make memories.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Verdict on the driving thing? Hope you're all still alive, :p, , Sammy."

I smiled and answered swiftly, shoving my phone back into my pocket. I tried to live back in the moment, Dad trying to steal Mom's cherry, Mom poking him with end of hers. I just hope that one day, I'll get to experience love just like my parents show Callie and I every single day.


	49. Hetty sends Deeks back to LAPD

"How was work today?"

That was a question she didn't used to have to ask. But things were changing. Despite Hetty's best defense, NCIS regulations forbid them from pursuing a relationship together. Hetty didn't bother giving them an option to break up, but sent him back to LAPD. She was working diligently to find a loophole and bring him back home.

"It was okay," he said as she handed him a glass of wine, sitting across from him on her couch.

He wasn't kidding. Work was okay. They hadn't put him under Bates this time. He now worked with a new team of cops. He was partners with Detective Daniel Green, and they worked on a team with Detectives Kyle Harris and Matt Davis. They were nice to Deeks. They respected his work at NCIS. They watched too much basketball, always talked about their soon to be Mrs. They volunteered. Deeks fit in with them. No, they weren't the family Deeks had at NCIS. But he wouldn't be suprised if by the time he comes back to NCIS, because he will come back, they would all be his friends.

"Case?" she asked.

"Not today. You guys?"

"Yeah, it was pretty easy though. Just a drug overdose on an aircraft carrier."

"Sounds interesting," he said.

"Yeah, it was okay."

He pressed the wine glass to his lips. "What, trouble with your partner?"

"Nell's doing great as an agent. She's just…"

"Less fun?"

"I was going for less attractive."

"Nell is a beautiful woman," he said, nodding.

"Yes, she is. Still not attracted to her, though," she said.

"I know. You're all mine, Fern." His free hand went to her waist and he pulled the glass away from his face so she could kiss him.

She rolled her eyes. As if there was actually ever any competition? Please.

"She'd kill us if she knew we were having this conversation. And Eric would too," Deeks said.

"No, she'd kill you. And Eric, he'd probably hack you, not kill you. He's not good with weapons."

Deeks nodded in agreement.

"Speaking of partners," he said, after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"I know Nell. I trust her with my life, and I trust her with yours too. But you don't know my partner. I know it makes you nervous not to know the man who's supposed to have my back every day."

She started to give him the 'how did you know that I think about that' stare, but it was useless.

"So?"

"I want you to meet him, Kens."

She felt suddenly relaxed, like a huge weight beginning to ease.

"Okay. I'll meet your partner."

"But I don't want you to just meet my partner." He got the pissed off stare again. "I want you to meet my team."

"Your team? I thought we were your team," she tried not to feel as disappointed as she was.

"You are my team, and NCIS is my family. But I want you to know and be comfortable with the guys I'm going to be spending the majority of my days with for a while. Plus, they're really good guys. You'll like them. Davis has a little one now, and Green just got engaged, and Harris volenteers to coach a high school basketball team every year. He can hook us up with tickets."

She laughed. "Why would we want high school basketball tickets?"

"Date night?"

"Still?"

"It's something different."

"Different alright."

He looked anxious. "Come on Kens, please? Will you meet them?

She nodded her head. "Yeah, Deeks. I'll go meet your team."

His lips bounced off of hers once again, and then he said "Thank you. This means the world to me."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved her hand around. "You better get me tickets."

"If I don't, I'll go buy you some. High school games only cost like 7 bucks."

"Or you could call Kip and get us hooked up with some real tickets," she said sarcastically.

"Now what's the fun in that?"

"Well first of all, there would be less high schoolers." High school was not a fun time.

"Big games are less romantic."

She cocked her head to the side, but she really couldn't argue that one. She imagined her head resting on his shoulder, watching the kids play. Suddenly, the vision turned from some random kids to their future kid, a strong girl with brown curls or an athletic boy with blond bangs. It got romantic pretty quickly after that.

He snapped her out of her short vision. He held up his almost empty wine glass. "To my partner. My partner through everything, not just NCIS."

She grinned, raising her glass back at him. "To someday, with my best friend. The partner I'll get back soon.

"To the best partners, someday soon," they agreed.

What exactly they agreed on, a lot of things. Someday soon was a great way to sum it up.


	50. First day of preschool

As a mother, Kensi Blye hasn't succeeded at too many motherly skills. She's got the basic things down, the important ones. Knowing when Max is sick and needs medicine, keeping an eye on him while playing. She's an expert in cuddling and in superheros and Blues Clues (because her baby boy LOVES dogs). She can recite most of his favorite books and can remember his first few words vividly. She's got the important things down pat.

Its the cooking and the cleaning that she's not quite spectacular at.

But she can make some killer muffins.

Deeks comes down the stairs. Usually she's right there listening to bedtime rituals, but not today. Today, she's running around the kitchen, flipping through recipes.

"Do you think he'd want chocolate muffins in the morning? Or blueberry? Or those cinnamon ones I made…" she began.

"Woah. Calm down," he said, motioning for her to breathe.

"Its going to be his first day of school. He has to have a perfect breakfast."

Deeks laughed. "Its going to be fine, Kens."

"He's getting so big."

"I know it."

He opened his arms, and she fell into them.

"I think I want another," she said.

He grinned. "That sounds pretty good to me."

Her face light up. "Really?"

"Of course."

With a big smile, she buried her head in his chest. He traced patterns on her back slowly, until she pulled away.

"Muffins," she said.

"I think Max would really really like the chocolate ones."

She smacked him lightly on the butt. "I think YOU'D like the chocolate ones."

"Gee, where'd you get that that impression?"

To that, all she could do was roll her eyes.


	51. Max missing Deeks while undercover

The lights were almost completely out, only the TV shining in the dark. Monty lay on the rug at the front door. Finding Nemo played as Callie's eyes drifted shut. She was only two, and it was so late anyway. Every few minutes her eyes would flick back open and she'd try to watch the old movie, but she was tired.

Max however, was wide awake. He was snuggled into her side, just as Callie was. A blanket draped over the three of them.

When Deeks went undercover, it was hard for any of them to sleep. Movies and snuggling were just about how the nights went.

She knew that as a mother, she needed to care for her children's physical and emotional needs. She knew that she needed to send her kids to bed. Its so late. But she also knew that they needed comfort right now, more so than sleep.

The kids didn't understand it yet. They just knew he was working this week. They didn't know it, but he was going in deep tonight. Deep danger. No help. All alone. Eric watching from OPS was it. And if tonight went well, he'd be back tomorrow morning. If it didn't go well, he probably wouldn't be back ever. It was a big risk to take, and Kensi was on edge.

She hated when he did deep cover now. But he was so good. Good at his job. This mission was to get a little kid back, and kids were a soft spot in his heart these days. Always, but especially these days.

The kids missed him. Max may be 6, but he missed bedtime stories and goodnight rituals. Callie was getting old enough to enjoy those too, and it was clear that she was sad too. Neither had slept well all week, and Kensi was just glad it wasn't a school night for Max.

Finding Nemo was one of many movies that they've seen this week. Shrek, The Incredibles, Big Hero 6, Frozen, Brave. The Incredibles was quite the experience, and she wished that Deeks had been there to hear Max say, "You and Dad are kind of like them, right?"

It was halfway through the 'fish are friends, not food" scene that Callie went out for good, and Kensi pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She fought through Max's tangled blond curls to give him one too.

"Momma?" he asked, quietly.

"Yea, little man?"

"Is Daddy going to come home soon?"

Kensi's heart dropped. "Yes, buddy. I hope he'll be home really, really soon."

"Why did he leave?" Max asked, almost with a little whine. "I miss him."

"Daddy only left for work. I know he misses you too."

"So he had to be incredible?"

"Yeah. He had to be incredible," Kensi smiled.

"You're incredible, too, Momma." he said, snuggling deeper into her side as she pulled him in more. "But I still miss Daddy."

"I miss him too."

"Can we stay up late and watch movies with Daddy when he gets home? He needs to watch The Incredibles!"

"Absolutely. That sounds like a great idea," Kensi smiled. Just then her phone screen lit up and vibrated. It was Eric.

"Deeks is out. He'll text you when he can."

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Within ten minutes, Deeks had texted her.

"I'll be home in and hour and 15 minutes. I miss you so much baby girl. Are the kids okay? Are they up? Damn it Kens, I love you."

She couldn't help but laugh. Max had started to drift off to sleep. She kept nudging him awake, but didn't tell him why. The joy on his face when Deeks slipped in the door was worth it all. The way the smile fell onto a half asleep Callie's face reminded her that they truly are incredible.


	52. Trying to get pregnant

"Negative."

"Hmm?" He couldn't hear her. She was speaking quite softly, and the halfway closed bathroom door separated them.

The door opened the rest of the way. "It's negative. As in, I'm not pregnant."

He watched her face fall, the disappointment evident. She kept blinking, trying not to cry.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms wide.

She gently fell into his arms, her head hitting his chest with a little thud. She was trying so hard not to cry. This was not the end of the world. But somehow, every time a test came back negative, it made it harder to believe that someday, they'd see a positive.

They'd been to the doctor, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with either of them. The doctor said it would happen when it happened.

Except it still hadn't.

There had been a lot of negatives now. She'd felt this disappointment before, and she never let it make her cry. It was going to happen. That's what the doctor said. Right?

But it was different this time.

Her eyes welled up and she pushed her face farther down into his shoulder. His hand found the center of her back, and his other hand cupped her head and twirled through her hair.

"We're going to get this. It's going to happen for us. Don't you worry."

"But what if it doesn't, Deeks? What if I never get pregnant?"

"You will."

"But what if I don't?" Her voice was raw and cracked, and she looked up at him as a tear slid down her cheek. "I didn't even want kids. This was never in my plan, and now we want this more than anything, and what if I can't give us that?"

He shushed her with his lips, kissing her as hard as he could. He pulled away, saying "You're putting to much pressure on yourself. This is a team effort here, Kens. You're going to get pregnant. And if for some reason you don't, I'm still going to be here, loving you more than anything else. Relax."

Her arms gripped him tighter. She tried to release the tension in her face. When she did, the tears she held back fell.

"I just want to have a baby with you."

He kissed her hairline and replied,"I promise you. We'll have one. Or two. Or three."

"How can you be so sure?"

He thought for a moment, before whispering in her ear. "Because you're Wonder Woman."

That was enough to make Kensi's body shake with laughter, and she kissed his cheek playfully.

"You always know what I need to hear."

He winked. "Its in my job description."

He then paused for a moment and added, "Hey Kens? You took that test a few days early. Why don't you take it again in a few days? Just in case."

"Deeks, I don't think I can take anymore disappointment right now."

"Just do it this one time. For me."

She gave him the eye roll. But yeah, she'd do it. He asked. She couldn't deny him that.

A few days later, she sat the newly taken test down on the sink on a tissue. She didn't have the heart to wait for the negative this time, and so she walked out of the bathroom and got on with her life.

They were watching TV. She was sitting in his lap when he asked about the test.

"Oh. Its on the sink. I haven't looked at it yet."

"Together?" he asked softly. He reached out his hand.

She laced her fingers between his. "Yes, together." She didn't want to face what was bound to come, but she could get through it with him by her side.

He led her to the bathroom door and then he crouched down and sat on the floor. She closed her eyes, grabbed the test and sat down next to him. She held the test up in front of them.

"On the count of three, we open our eyes." he said. "One."

"Two," she added.

Together, they said three, and their eyes flicked open.

After the initial shock wore off, she fell into his lap and he surrounded her with his arms and legs and lips and she squealed like a little kid. The smile on both their faces couldn't have been bigger. Monty heard the ruckus and came to investigate, and joined the couple in their wrestle with a couple of big licks to Kensi's cheek.

Positive. They were going to have a baby.


	53. Zoo

"Are there going to be any Montys at the zoo?" a four year old Callie asked. She was sitting up high on Deeks shoulders while Max walked alongside Kensi.

Deeks laughed. "Probably no Montys," he said, turning to Kensi. "But we're going to find the rain forest and the desert animals, there are bound to be ferns and cacti." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Max giggled. "Ferns," he said quietly. Often, Max heard his Daddy call his Momma 'Fern' and he'd asked why. They'd told him the story about how while they were working, his Dad had made up a crazy name for his Mom. She got very angry! But, she learned to like it. He'd have to ask about the cacti later.

Kensi squeezed her son's hand tightly and smiled down at him. He grinned right back.

"Are there gonna be polar bears?" Callie asked.

"There's going to be pretty much any animal you can think of," Deeks said.

"But no Montys?" Callie asked again.

"Except for Monty."

They turned into the first exhibit. Laughter filled the room, a majority of it Deeks' and Callie's. Max was more than thrilled, pointing at the elephants and thinking of his old favorite storybooks.

Callie, still up on top of her Dad's shoulder, squealed. "Mom! Max! Hurry!" They ran up ahead to find Deeks and Callie pointing at a group of lazy, sleeping raccoons.

Deeks gave her a quick wink, and she laughed. Max covered his cheeks with his hands. Mommy's favorite animal!

They saw lots of lizards and cacti and alligators and koalas. Finally, they were walking through the rain forest. Max was busy learning about the colorful poison dart frogs. Callie tugged on her Mom's hand, having gotten off of her father's shoulder to explore.

"Mommy, Daddy's trying to find a fern."

"I bet he is. He's a dweeb," Kensi said goofily.

"Dad! Mom called you a dweeb!" Callie called out.

"You little tattle tale," Kensi joked back.

Deeks poked his head around the plant. "Hey!" he shouted.

"A fern!" Max said, running away from the frogs to see the plant.

"Our kids think ferns are some sort of exotic treasure, thanks to you," Kensi told her husband.

"Well, that is exactly what _she_ is," Deeks said, giving her a quick kiss.

They may be married and they may have two kids together, but he can still make her blush with statements like that.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she replied.

"I think we should go to the zoo more often!" Deeks declared, joining his kids in their study of the common plant.

All Kensi could do was laugh.


	54. I need you

He did his job.

He did everything he was supposed to do. He did the job and he didn't let their personal life interfere with that.

But it was also his job to have her back. And she didn't succeed at that.

And although he did what he was supposed to do and that should feel good, it doesn't. Yes! The ultimate test! They could be partners and lovers! It could work. No. His heart feels like someone tied a pound of lead to it. He's dizzy and his stomach hurts and if his nerves don't settle down, he's going to throw up.

His voice is shaking and his eyelids are wavering. But he just needs to talk to her. She's laying in the bed in front of him. She's got to wake up. She got hurt and its on him, and damn it she has to be okay.

"I love when you cuddle up close to me in your sleep. And I love when you wake up and deny it with that sly smile that gives it all away. I love it when you steal my hoodies and leave them in obvious places so you'll get caught. I love that you sleep in my shirts and I love it when you let me braid your hair. I love it when you leave those stupid girly magazines around my house now. I love that you're opening up to me. And I love your obsession with TV and I love your obsession with me."

He stops. Her eyes are still closed, the monitor's monotone beep not giving any promises. Her chest rises and falls.

"Do you love my obsession with you?" he faintly whispers.

Her chest rises and falls again. Still nothing.

"Dammit, Kensi. Please wake up. I can't lose you. I love you. I love you so much. I, I need you, Kensi. Kensi Marie Blye. I need you."

She remains still. He runs his fingers through his curls. His eyes well up. He sucks in a deep deep breath.

His words are no longer understandable. He's angry at himself and he's scared. He can't lose her. He can't. He won't be okay. His short nails dig into his face, as he searches for grip onto something, anything. He chokes it out one more time.

"I…."

"I….."

"…..just,"

"…..love,"

"…..you."

And he looks down. Her body is stiff, and she's pale. But her lips are open, and soon, a word slips through them.

"Deeks."

Her voice is scratchy and soft, but forceful.

He takes a step toward her. Her eyes are still shut. He thinks he's hearing things, but she continues talking.

"Quit talking. If you don't quit talking, I'm going to cry. If you make me cry, its going to hurt like hell."

His heart palpitated. He looked down at her still frame. After the way her head hit that pavement, he's sure she probably is in a lot of pain.

He slowly lowered his lips to her forehead and gently kissed her. "I'm sorry, baby girl."

"Shhhhh." her lips pursed. "I'm awake and I'm alive. Relax."

She pulled her hand up slowly, and he laced his fingers through hers.

"And by the way, I love your obsession with me. And I love you, too. Now, no more words."

He remained as quiet as possible, but squeezed her hand tightly and kissed the back of it. And it was enough.


	55. First steps

14 months. 10 months. 9 months. 13 months. Kensi Blye had heard it ALL. She didn't even know what she believed anymore.

Little Max's 9th month passed and he hadn't taken a step yet. Month 10 cruised by. She knew she shouldn't be concerned, but of course, she was.

On Christmas morning she awoke to the familiar and warm scent of her husband. She ran her hands up his bare chest. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, pressing a long kiss into her hairline, and trailed his kisses down to her lips.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas to you," she replied.

"Max's first Christmas," he said, grinning.

"I cannot wait to see him try to figure out wrapping paper," she smiled.

He pulled himself up. "Come on, baby girl. Let's do this."

After a diaper change and quick little snack, Max was wide awake and ready to play. The tree was decorated, and all the ornaments adorned their tree in one little clump, as Max had gotten to help, and the ones that didn't go straight to his mouth went to that little spot.

Kensi pulled a package toward him. They sat on the floor and watched as he stared at the box, confused.

Kensi tried tearing the corner, but he continued to stare at it. He tried to pick it up by the torn flap, and when it ripped, it suprised him. He finally began to rip the paper off. Kensi leaned back into her husband's chest to watch. He rested his chin on her head.

Once the wrapping paper was gone, Max held the box back out to Kensi. She laughed at his discard for it. He reached under the tree for another, but couldn't quite reach it, and so Deeks assisted. Max got into the swing of things, and paper began to fly much quicker.

That's when Monty came into play.

He grabbed a big paper wad in his mouth and began to tear it to shreds. Deeks rolled over and tackled the pup, gathering the paper and trying to take it out of his mouth. Kensi was laughing so hard at the sight of her husband wrestling the dog.

Meanwhile, Max had gotten impatient waiting in the next box with paper to tear through. Using the tree, he pulled himself up, grabbed a box, and began to tear it all apart.

By the time Kensi turned back to Max, he was taking two careful steps forward to hand her the unwrapped box.

"Marty!" she squealed. She put her hands out and Max came to her. Deeks looked up from atop the dog just in time to see it.

"Did he just?" Deeks asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes he did!"

Max didn't understand the cheering all around him, but it sure didn't stop him from attempting to take those steps back to get another box…

Deeks arms went up to catch him from the inevitable fall, and of course he did. Max didn't seem phased. He reached in for another box.

"Hey! That one's your Mommy's!"

To that, Maxwell just turned around and flashed them a big, toothy grin.


	56. Well, that's different

A/n: One of these days, we'll thaw out. But not today.

Oh, and I got a prompt the other day that got out of hand. It's not with these, its called Dollface. If you're a Callie fan... go read that. Bye!

* * *

"Well, that's different."

"You hate it. I know it."

"I don't hate it! It's just different."

"It's awful."

"It is not."

He was running his fingers through his new short haircut. There was a reason he kept it long and unruly.

"I just asked for a trim."

He looked so defeated.

"Deeks, it's going to grow back. It really doesn't look that bad. I kind of like it."

"You're just saying that," he pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.

"Maybe I'm not."

He tilted his head to the side. "What?"

"I've always said that you needed a haircut."

"So you didn't like my long hair?"

"I didn't say that."

He give her a glare, one that she usually gives him. Communication is key.

"I'm saying Deeks, that I don't care if your hair is stupid long or stupid short. I'm in this for a whole lot more than your hair."

He laughed. "Okay, Fern." He pressed a sensual and short kiss to her lips. "But just for the record, how do you like my hair?"

She rolled her eyes again. "I like it a little longer than this, but a little shorter than it was. But really, it's fine." She ran her fingers through it. "This could be kind of fun, you know."

He smiled. "You think?"

She grinned, and shot him a wink. "I don't think. I know."


	57. Morning Sickness

'Seriously,' she thought, 'I will not stop throwing up until my stomach is laying in front of me.'

Morning sickness was bad. Really really bad. She couldn't even sit up straight, she was hunched over and she felt like the world would never ever stop spinning.

She tried to hide this from Deeks. She knew he'd be there and holding her hair or anything she needed, but it just… it's gross. It didn't matter how married or how pregnant with his baby she'll get. She'll always want him to see the best of her. Always.

Shuddering and almost, almost crying and convulsing on the bathroom floor is NOT the best part of her.

And like, how much longer can this last? She'll brush her teeth and be back in bed with him any time now. Saturday mornings are the easy part.

Except, for just a moment, her nauseous pains returned and she gagged again, sending discusting waves of anxiety over her body. She was sweating and her mouth tasted awful. She'd need a shower to go with brushing her teeth, thats for certain.

She reached for a tissue, something to wipe her mouth off with. That's when he showed up in the doorframe of the bathroom.

"Kens?" he knocked, pushing the door open. It was to late for her to scramble away from her spot on the floor, so she remained there, embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully, worry in his voice.

"Morning sickness," she moaned warily, lolling her head back against the edge of the bathtub.

"Hey," he said, crouching down next to her. "We're in this together. I don't get to sleep while you go through all of this for our baby. I don't have to be in here if you don't want me to, but I can always be getting you some warm tea for when this is over or something to help you."

"Deeks," she whispered, trying to tell him that that wasn't necessary, but he ignored her.

"What can I do to help you?"

She was surprised that for the moment, she'd stopped throwing up. He wasn't going anywhere, he wouldn't let her send him back to bed. And she could start getting sick again anytime.

But his embrace sounded comforting.

"Will you, um, sit with me?"

He smiled just a little bit, settling next to her on the floor with his back against the tub. She slumped into his side, and his arm wrapped around her. Her head fell to his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. Her arms wrapped around his center.

Within, 15 minutes, she was completely asleep. She might kill him later, but that didn't stop him from carrying her to bed and cleaning up the bathroom while she slept.


	58. Twins

a/n: Running on stress and sadness. Dollface may take a while... did someone say twins? Here you go.

* * *

He's holding two little bundles, with two little pink hats.

Under one hat is a bright blonde golden curl, that matches her father's hair. Under the other little pink hat is a dark brown patch, very thin, but prominent and beautiful.

She feels happy, but everything is fuzzy. He takes slow, careful steps around the room. His eyes shift back and forth between the babies.

_Their babies. _

And that makes her feel happy.

"This is really cool," he says. "My hair, and your hair, and they're both so beautiful."

He brings them closer to her. Things are still very foggy. She tries to push that feeling away.

She pulls the hat away, revealing the golden curl. She presses her lips into it, but there's no feeling. She pulls the baby into her. Everything feels really really fake.

That's when she startles awake.

Her arm is wrapped around her, twisted behind her head. Her fingers are locked up in his curls. She feels tension on her new shorter hair, and realizes he too has his fingers wrapped in her hair.

She takes a deep breath and sighs.

Yeah, dating for four months and already dreaming about having kids with this man.

But how she _loves _him. Yes, l-o-v-e. And how freaking cool would it be to have those beautiful little girls with contrasting hair colors. Is that even genetically possible?

She spends a moment trying to convince herself that her dream is a product of sleepy hair tugging and her new 'do, but she can't. Because there's an ache in her lower belly now, and she wants to hold a little warm being to her chest.

There's no way in hell that they're ready for kids. She's never even fully considered it an option. But now...

Now she's going to have a rough time sleeping.

She turns her head slightly, and watches his nose twitch wildly. Yes, yes, _yes._

As she watches his peaceful sleep, she feels his fingers tighten around her hair, and she wonders what _he's _dreaming about. She wonders if he's ever dreamed about their baby's hair. _Or babies' hair._

Maybe he'll tell her in the morning. Maybe someday, she'll tell him about her dream. But not today. Not yet.

With his fingers slowly letting her hair go, she presses a very, very light kiss into his scarred wrist, rests her head on her pillow and closes her eyes. She hopes she can find her dream again. She likes it more than she'll admit.

She wants to hear his adoring voice call their girls beautiful and perfect again. She wants to feel his eyes proudly looking at them as his pride and joy.

She doesn't understand why, because really they aren't ready for anything like this. But it sounds like the happy ending they both deserve. Little humans that are his and hers in a flawless, indescribable way.

Maybe she could tell him about her dream. Maybe. At least about the hair thing.

Obviously hair is important when it comes to them.

He'll see through that though, and they'll have to talk about things.

But maybe, if this dream is really as good as it makes her feel, these are things that are worth talking about.


	59. Have you lost your damn mind?

He woke up to a warm kiss on his cheek. "Happy birthday," she whispered sweetly.

"Thank you, Fern," he said with a lazy smile.

"He's awake, Max!" she called. Deeks laughed. This was what was going on. A four year old Max ran into the room and dove onto the bed.

"Daddy!" He shouted, hugging his father's wide chest. "Happy birthday!"

"Thank you, Maxwell," Deeks smiled.

"I drew you a picture, and Mommy and I made cards, and we bakeded a cake!"

"You bakeded a cake, huh?" he laughed, using his son's English.

"Yes, we should eat it NOW!"

"Cake for breakfast? Well, it IS my birthday." He rolled over, tickling Max thoroughly before grabbing a shirt and slipping it over his head.

Max and Kensi were downstairs. He smiled, seeing them place the cake on the table with his drawling and their cards.

Kensi waddled, very pregnant, over to the table and settled in a chair at the end of the table. Max hopped up on her lap, giggling because he barely fit there with her bump in the way. When Deeks came and sat down, Max switched to his lap, more comfortably.

Listening to his little son sing happy birthday to him with Kensi's sweet notes in the background made his heart melt.

"The baby made you a card too! I helped her though, because I'm not sure if she's got fingers yet…"

He threw his head back, and clinged to his baby boy. He never felt more loved than on days like this. He felt loved and like he was needed and it was the most amazing experience.

As he settled in bed with his wife after an amazing birthday, he pressed kisses to her belly, whispering "I love yous" to Kensi and his unborn daughter.

"Today was perfect," he said. "I love Max so much. And I love her too, and we should totally have like 8 more."

"Have you lost your damn mind?"

With a smirk, he said "Nah. Just a wishful thinker. Thank you, for everything today."

"You're welcome. Anything. I love you so much."

"I love you too."


	60. Hannah

a/n: I haven't updated this in forever.

Ooops.

I got sick and school got hard and you don't want my excuses. So a peace offering? If you follow me on Tumblr you've probably already seen this one. It's a few months old. It's sad and I wasn't going to put it on here but it's here now anyway. It is kinda 'close to home' to me, and I'm so sorry if you have ever gone through what Kensi and Deeks' daughter has to go through in this little ficlet. I'm so sorry.

* * *

Of the many things this job has taught me, this one shows up more often than the others. There are now all of the sudden little demons that hide in every good that comes our way. NCIS has given me a home, encompassed me in love, and supported me through some of the worst years of my life. But I don't think those bad time are over.

And it isn't her fault. Hannah is the perfect daughter in every single way. But since Kensi died, those hard days have been more prevalent.

Kensi. Her name haunts me. When Hannah talks about Mom, it haunts me. She's in the forefront of my mind pretty much every second of the day. Every time I have to help Hannah with a decision, I think of what Kensi would say, but its so hard. And I can never put it in the words she would have used.

It was four years ago that she was shot. Hannah was thirteen. She struggled, but she was strong. To strong and stubborn, just like her mother. Nate stuck around, but Hannah wanted little to do with him. To this day, the pair aren't as close as they once were. She doesn't

want him near her. It breaks my heart.

What breaks my heart even more, is this moment we're in. Today is her seventeenth birthday. She's pretending to be happy, trying to smile. But I can read my baby girl like a book, and its all fake. I could call her out on that, but I don't want to make this any harder on her than it already is. She swears school was just great and that she's fine.

"Can I have a hug?" I ask quietly.

She nods, and folds herself into my chest. I pressed my lips to the top of her head and held her tightly until finally, the truth revealed itself.

Hannah's body stiffened and tensed, and suddenly, inaudible sobs wreaked over her.

"Hold on baby girl," I whispered, pulling her in tighter and tighter. "I got you."

"She's not here Dad. For my seventeenth birthday now, but she's not going to be there at my graduation, or my wedding, or…" Her words became incoherent. The hole burning in my heart for the past four years just got much much bigger, as I hurt for my daughter.

I learned early on that there is nothing you can really say to make these things better. Actually most things make it much worse. Letting her get it all out, although rare for her, is most important. She is her mother in so many ways, and I'm reminded of the day so many years ago when she cried ever so quietly into my chest after her DOJ interrogation. Hannah is that on so many levels.

Hannah's words slowly quit, and her tears flowed with less violent shaking. I pushed her away enough so that I could see her face. My perfect, beautiful daughter. She saw the few tears streaming down my own face, and it made her tense again, but I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Do you remember when your Mom would tell you about your Grandpa Blye?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"He left her a journal. She didn't share it with me until years after we were married, I think you were maybe two or three. But he told her that no matter where she was, he wanted to be there too, so they could be together. And you know what? If Mom had a choice, she'd be right here with us, too."

"But she's not, Dad. She's not here."

"But she is." I point down to my daughter's chest. "She's in you."

"That's too much responsibility."

"You can handle it."

"I don't think I can, Dad."

"You're doing it already," I said. "Your drive, purpose, beauty, you're keeping her alive."

"But I can't talk to her," she said softly.

"There are always faults in that logic. But I want you to always remember that you keep her alive. In everything you do."

"That doesn't make it better."

"I know it doesn't, or it doesn't seem like it. It will though."

"I miss her, Daddy." Another loose tear slid down my cheek. When your 17 year old daughter calls you Daddy, that means something.

"I miss her too, Hannah."

We sat down on the couch. She curled up into my side. She lay her head on my chest.

"Some seventeenth birthday," she sighed.

"I'm so sorry," I said, rubbing circles into her back. "You know what I remember? Your sixth birthday."

"My sixth birthday?"

"Oh yeah. You remember it?"

"Was that the year…?" she started, and I nodded. "No!" she laughed, throwing her head back, grinning ear to ear.

I smiled too. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and swipe through the pages of full apps to show her my home screen.

Its that picture. Hannah is sitting up on the counter in our kitchen. Kensi is sitting next to her. They're both holding cupcakes, and Monty is standing up on his hind legs trying to reach them. Kensi is smiling wide with her teeth showing and eyes almost closed, as she reaches out to keep Hannah from falling off of the counter because she's laughing so hard.

We both remember that moments after this picture was taken, Hannah's cupcake slipped out of her hand and landed right on Monty's face. He guzzled it right up, but in the spot where the purple icing hit his fur, it remained dyed the deep color for several days.

Hannah looked up from my phone screen into my eyes. "You help keep her alive too, Dad."

I sucked in a quick pulse of air. There's no way to explain how that warmed my heart.

"She deserves to live forever," I said, trying to soothe her, but also myself by running my fingers through her thick ponytail.

"Do you think there's anything she'd want to tell me? Seventeen is supposed to be a big deal or whatever."

I thought for a moment. There's got to be something, something I can tell her that is not from speculation. Something that is concrete fact that her mom wanted her to know.

"I know she loved you. She loved you so much. And I know how beautiful she thought you are. I know you were her world. And if she were here, she'd want you be happy, and live happy not because of her, but because…" I paused. How do I finish that sentence?

"Because of you? Because I still have you?"

I paused. She continues to blow my mind every single day.

"I wouldn't say that."

"But she would, Dad."

"She would want you to be happy because it's your seventeenth birthday. That's a big deal."

"She'd want me to treasure you too, Dad. And be happy with you."

"I thought you said you couldn't handle having your mother live in you?"

"Sometimes it's hard when I over think it, but I guess it usually comes naturally."

"We'll never quit missing her or loving her," I said. "Just remember that she loved you, she loved you so much."

"She loved you too, Dad. I think she still does."

With a smile we both wiped away the final tears for the day. Hard days still come. But Hannah, she makes them manageable. She's the reason I keep going.

"Come on, nuf of this. It is your birthday. There's a box of cupcakes in the kitchen. Let's watch a movie."

"Titanic for Mom?"

"It's your seventeenth birthday, no more crying."

"Top Model for Mom?"

I chuckled. "That's not a movie, but yeah, I think we can do that one."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, baby girl."

Quietly, so quietly, I almost didn't hear it, I heard her whisper, "I love you too, Mommy."

I tried to forget that I heard her say it, but I couldn't. After two episodes of Top Model, I went to go grab some candles for the cupcakes and I whispered it to the ceiling for myself.

"I love you Kensi. I still miss you."


	61. I slept with Callen

He knew something was wrong the moment she knocked on the door rather than letting herself in on her own. She was there just about the time he had expected.

When he opened up, he could tell by her composure that something was a little more than just wrong.

"Kensi, come here."

She stepped inside, but kept her distance from him. He wanted to touch her, every inch of her. Her haircut was irresistible to him and though she'd changed and gotten cleaned up, he could still imagine the lines of the tattoo that had covered her back. He needed to touch her this instance. He needed to know what was wrong. His eyes begged her to explain. Ultimately, she said what plagued and haunted her.

"I, I… I slept with Callen, Deeks."

"You gotta talk to me, Kens. Talk me through this. What happened undercover?" He tried to remain calm. He knew this had to have happened for the sake of the mission.

"There were surveillance cameras in all four corners of the room," she said. She seemed lost in her own thoughts and he tried to bring her back.

"Okay, so what happened?"

"They were watching us, Deeks! He had to…"

He's seen her cry before. Afghanistan, Clairmont, that stupid DOJ interrogation. When she cries, it's real pain and fear rushing through her. He's got to stop her.

"Kensi, Kens it's okay," he tried to reach out to wrap his arms around her, but she pulled away.

"It's not okay! We faked a lot of it, but he still had to tou…"

"Hold on. You didn't actually sleep with Callen. You guys didn't have sex. Am I correct?"

"Yes, but…"

"No buts, Kensi," he refused to let her pull away, crushing her between his arms and his chest. "You did nothing wrong. You did what you had to do to come home alive at the end of the day. You came home to, not Callen. I couldn't possibly be upset with you over that."

She clutched tighter to him. "It felt so wrong. Like, like I was hurting you."

He rubbed a circle into her back, and what she said, and what she wasn't saying, hit home to him. She was upset with herself because she felt like she was cheating on him. Though her heart was in the right place the whole time, she felt her actions took away from what she had with him and she couldn't forgive herself for that. She was being vulnerable with him and at the same time he loved it, he hated it. He hated her pain. But he loves that there's a person in this world worried about his honor and it's something he's never had and it feels so damn good.

He pulls away from her and grabs her face and squishes, more like smashes, her lips against his. When he pulls away, he catches his breath and says, "I love you. I love you for worrying about me and our relationship. I love who we've become. I love you so much. But I don't want you to think anything you have to do undercover reflects on us. Any sleaze you have to seduce, anyone you have to kiss or touch, that isn't on us. I love you and I don't care about all of that. All I care about is you being okay, and coming home at the end of the day. So whatever you and Callen had to do undercover is what it is. It doesn't hurt me at all."

She nods. He gives her a little smile and it makes her laugh. She giggles as she tries to wipe her eyes with the sides of her thumb. "Why was I so upset about this? It's our freaking job. I know that, Deeks. I know that!"

He tried to keep her heart light. "You were just so worried about my fragile little heart."

Her tears gone, she spoke more confidently when she said, "I was just 'I'm so in love with him but how do I show up at his place and mention that while also saying I practically slept with some one I consider to be my brother.'"

Deeks eyes filled with all of their puppy like attributes and his smile lit up his scruff covered cheeks.

"What?" Kensi scoffed, using a tissue to clean up her smuged eye makeup.

"You love me so much," he said in a quick breath.

Her eyes rolled, but it was only a few seconds later that their lips met again. Kissing him seemed to solve all of her problems, but you'll never hear her complaining about that.


	62. I just need you to love me That's all

They're terrible for each other. They really are. She's a slob and he's a neat freak (well, kinda. She had to get onto him after Thapa. He needed it though. She's pretty sure he's greatful). He cares about their health and he wants to save the planet, and she's more like, whatever. He loves it when she's soft and maybe she is a little soft, but at the same time, her world has hardened her.

She loves him. She does. She's not at all saying she doesn't. But she has to wonder if she's right for him.

She knows if they were to break up, they would both be a complete mess. She's to the point where she needs him. She knows it too. She needs him to be happy and okay. She just does. She imagines he feels the same way, based on their more frequent communications.

She just doesn't know how to be enough for him. And she has to be, because they may be terrible for each other, but they aren't ever going to be good for anyone else.

He could tell she was thinking too hard about something. His arms were wrapped around her and she was leaning into his chest. She was looking at the TV but she wasn't actually watching it.

"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked her in such a way that made her feel like she could say anything and he'd be content with her answer.

"You," she said.

"What about me?"

"Do you understand your worth, Deeks?"

He paused. What was she getting at here?

"Because I don't think you do. We kind of suck at being a couple, if you haven't noticed. And you haven't asked for anything more from me. You've thrown love around a few times, but I've never told you I love you. Which is ridiculous, because I do love you Deeks. I love you so much. Do you not think you deserve that? You deserve someone who isn't afraid to spontaneously tell you that."

It was a lot to take in. His heart raced and he couldn't breathe. Kensi Blye loved him.

"Kensi…"

"I just think you need more than what I'm giving you. And you never ask for more, and then I never know. And that terrifies me."

He pressed his lips to the pulse point of her neck. He moans a weak "Kens," into her skin. But she still pulls away.

"I want to be what you need. You tell me I'm perfect, but this isn't just about us physically anymore. Its about emotionally. I'm not being that for you right now. Please, tell me." Her eyes are practically begging him. She needs him to tell her.

He doesn't want to. He almost doesn't need to. The one thing he needed to hear came off of her beautiful as the sun lips just moments ago. He just wants to kiss her. He tries again, but he's met with the same difficulties as before.

He can sense that she's getting frustrated. Partially because she's being vulnerable and all he's doing is trying to kiss her, and partially because she wants to kiss back.

It's almost harder for him to say. "I just need you to love me. That's all. Can you do that? Please, Kens. That's all I need. "

That can't possibly be all he needs, but he doesn't quit talking. He adds nothing new, but yet, he keeps talking.

"But you've already said it, that you love me. So you obviously can. So we're good? Right? You and me in love, that's like, everything. I don't need anything else…"

"Deeks," his lips take their turn at the base of his neck. She blows the words off of her lips again, letting them crash against his sensitive skin. "I love you." She floats up to his jaw and whispers it again, and then drifts to his ear. "Let me say it again. I love you."

His eyes are dark. She tries to read what he's thinking, but she just can't. She adds, "and I'll try to remind you a lot. And if I don't say it enough, tell me to say it more. That's okay to do, alright?"

He nods. He's not sure if he can ever ask her to love him again. It was hard, the neediness felt wrong and off. But he knows he doesn't have to ask her to love him. Everything physical in their relationship is coming from that emotion. He knows that. He was so moved by her admissions. The way she said love hummed in his eardrums. He can still faintly hear the whisper. And he knows it's his turn to speak.

"Kens?" She looks at him, so he continues. "You've always been enough for me. You will always be enough for me."

It's almost as if she blushes, but she looks at him with a relieved smile. He just wants to kiss her freaking senseless.

Wrapping his fingers through her hair, she giggles. He pulls her face to his lips and crashes against her, muffling the sweetest words into her mouth.

"I love you too."


	63. Ch 39 con't

A/n: Tiny little have written 'I am asleep right now' follow up to ch39.

* * *

"Max!"

"Hey Mom." He pressed a kiss against her forehead. He pushed his bag, his clarinet case, and his sleeping bag into the car. He grabbed immediately for his phone.

"How was camp?"

"It was okay," he shrugged. "I missed Sammy, well like, all of you, not just her." He paused, and then continued. "And not that I'm not excited to see you, but wasn't Dad supposed to pick me up today?"

Kensi laughed. "Yeah, he was. Fun story about while you were gone..."

"Dad didn't get shot, did he?" Max sat up, alarmed.

"No, I promise. He's fine. It's your sister. Turns out she's got the chickenpox."

Max rolled his eyes. "Wait, didn't we get vaccinated for that?"

Kensi shook her head and leaned back. "Stop sounding like your father. It's a very light case, she just feels kinda crummy. The doctor says you should be fine to go home, but we talked to Nell and Eric and they're cool if you wanna crash over there tonight. I think Sammy missed you too."

Kensi watches as her son's eyes widen in excitement, but he frowns again. "I don't know. Don't you think I should go home and see her? And Dad too? I mean, I've been gone for like a week and a half."

She smiled, definitely feeling like a proud momma. "You're admitting to missing your sister?"

"Of course I missed her," he said, sounding shocked that there was any question about that statement. "Especially since she's sick."

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she showed him a picture. "I took this of them before I left to come get you. You can go over to the Beale's. It will be fine, Max."

Max looked at the picture of Callie and his father, snuggled up in her bed. She had a blanket draped over her little frame and Deeks had her tucked deeply into his side. They were both out cold.

He wasn't going to miss out on a night at the Beale's. The sweet picture made him happy; he could make it just one more day without going home.


	64. Sunshine

Something lulls her out of her gentle sleep. She reaches across the bed for her husband, but her hand finds cold and empty sheets. She sits up, rubbing her eyes. She hears the low sound that slowly woke her from her slumber.

She follows the sound of the humming until she's outside of the nursery, the tune recognizable now.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

She peeks her head in the room. Deeks is leaning over the edge of the crib, staring down at their sleeping daughter. He's not singing or making any other noise, just humming.

_You make me happy, when skies are grey._

She isn't sure what she's watching. His sweatpants lay low on his hips. His hands grip the crib tightly, and it seems as if his hums are a struggle.

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you._

Sensing that something was wrong, she steps across the room until her hands are placed on top of his. She presses herself against his back, resting her lips by his ear. His sweet song slows to a stop.

_Please don't take my sunshine away._

"What's the matter?" she whispered.

His voice cracked, "Just a bad dream."

"Wanna talk about it?" He shook his head.

She tried again. "You wanna hold her instead of just staring at her?"

"That um, was kind of um, part of the dream."

Oh. And it sinks in.

Of course that hell of a world he's created in his head would create a 'you are your abusive father' dream. And of course, he'd let himself believe he could actually hurt their baby girl.

"Deeks," she begins, but she just doesn't have the words. His eyes stay focused on his daughter, and she watches as a single tear slips down his cheek.

"I could never do anything like that to her, Kensi."

She traces up his arms and surround his big chest. She squeezes tightly. "I know."

"She's so, she's so perfect," he trembles, "and beautiful. And it just…"

"It scared you?"

"Yeah."

She smiles against his jaw. "It doesn't scare me. You're so good to me, you're so amazing with her. You would never in a million years do anything to hurt either of us. Because you my love, love us more than you love anything else on this planet. And no one is going to take your sunshine away."

He chuckles a little. "Since when do you call me 'my love'?"

"Since you started talking crazy."

"Touche."

She presses a kiss into his earlobe. "Now you pick her up and lets go cuddle."

He hesitates, but she's insistent. She doesn't stop until he's holding the sleeping infant close to his chest and they're settled on the couch. The silence is heavy as she drapes herself over his shoulders again, but its what he needs.

He presses his lips to the little one's forehead.

"I love you baby girl."

Nothing is going to take their sunshine away.

* * *

A/n: So anon Tumblr prompt. This was a little bit of a challenge. It doesn't fit with the Max and Callie thing, and I didn't actually name their baby... until halfway through. But it stayed in my head. Aurora was the name I came up with, Aurora as in dawn, when sunshine appears. I should update Dollface sometime this weekend (it's like half done), but if it interests you, I think some other little baby drabbles could be fun. If you have ideas, you know where to find me. Thanks loves!


	65. So let's do this

"I can't believe Nell and Eric are getting married before us."

Deeks eyes widen, as he turns around to look at his beautiful girlfriend. She's dressed in a soft bright purple gown that laces and flows down toward her feet. The vest underneath his jacket matches hers, and he holds the flower that belongs on her wrist in his hand.

"Before us?" he asks, reaching for her wrist to place the flower bracelet in its place.

"Yeah, I mean, we started dating before they did, I figured it would be us first."

He needs to have this conversation with her, but damn, she's beautiful. It's hard to focus on anything else.

"You're interested in marriage?"

She twists her wrist around, admiring the flowers. "Of course, you doofus."

"I, um... I thought that... we never talked about..." He's nervous, plus he just really wants to kiss her and it'd making talking hard.

"I know I made some mistakes before with Jack and all, but you're not Jack, Deeks. I love you."

"So you're saying you'd marry me?"

She squints. "Not if that's your proposal."

"No no no... just, well..." he begins.

"Quit rambling, Deeks."

He stops and presses his lips against hers, steadying her by placing his hands on her hips. He pulls away, leaving his forehead pressed against hers. "You're so beautiful."

She looks like she's going to say something sweet back to him, when instead she threatens, "Nell's going to kill you if you messed up my lipstick."

He laughs. "Wouldn't want to hurt Velma's bridesmaid."

She runs her fingers through his curls, correcting the ones she deems to unruly. "Wouldn't want Eric's best man to look too shaggy."

He can't resist another quick kiss. She pulls away to check her makeup, before it's their time to join the rest of the bridal party. Before they join the others, he whispers to her softly. "I'm going to marry you someday soon, Fern. But for now, I'm the best man, you're a bridesmaid. So let's do this thing."


	66. Free Marriage Advice

"Something wrong, Deeks?" Callen couldn't help but notice how the Detective seemed antsy. On edge, almost.

"Nah," he said. "I think its all in my head. Have either of you seen Kensi this morning?"

"Lost your wife already Deeks?" Sam teased.

"You know as well as I do that she does what she wants and goes where she pleases."

"She's in the armory with Nell," Eric chirped, walking by on the way to Hetty's office.

"Thanks Beale!" Deeks called, relaxing.

"Come on Deeks, G's right. Something's not sitting well with you." Sam said. "Its nothing guys. Leave it alone."

"Deeks…" Callen began. "I think she's pregnant, okay? Promise me you won't tell her. She'll kill me."

"What makes you think she's pregnant?" Sam asked. "She's just acting weird, appetite things and emotions… and just some of the stuff she's saying. It just makes me think she is. A lot."

"What if she is? You okay with it?" Callen asked.

"Absolutely. 100%. She's amazing. I love her, I want this with her."

"Then there's nothing to worry about then. You'd be a great father, she'd be a great mother, even if she doesn't think she would be," Callen said.

"I guess you're right," Deeks said, sitting down.

"She's probably not pregnant anyway," Sam reasoned. "I mean, how abnormal is her behavior anyway? It's Kensi we're talking about."

"He's got a point Deeks." Callen said.

"You know what, you guys are right. There's no way she's pregnant. She would have told me by now anyway."

"See, free marriage advice. You're welcome," Sam said, smiling.

* * *

"Thanks for doing this, Nell."

"No problem, Kensi. Its a great opportunity for me, and I'm so excited for you!"

Kensi took a deep breath. It was all going to be okay.

"You feeling okay? You look a little sick," Nell said.

"Yeah. Just nervous about telling Deeks that I'm pregnant."


	67. Chapter 66 con't

a/n: Someone out there's probably wondering _hey I thought she was gonna quit writing? _Why, yes I am, at least in the ff world. However, I've decided that I can write a little more. I will 'retire' from fan fiction at the conclusion of my summer break from school. I just don't have the time. Meanwhile, my inbox is open on Tumblr and is ready for prompts :)

This drabble is awful and I hate it, but it was a request from a reviewer for a follow up to chapter 66.

* * *

She's pretty sure she's never cried this much over a work injury before.

Yes, the bullet that grazed her left hip smarted. Yeah, it bled. Sure, she had to get it cleaned by the paramedics.

But she _shouldn't _have freaked out.

When she first felt the sting of the bullet against her skin, a moment of fear rushed through her. Deeks shot the shooter, taking him down with one quick bullet.

She knew babies didn't grow on hips, but that meant nothing. Damn it, what if she went and got their baby killed? Before Deeks even knew he was going to be a father? It was something she just didn't know how to handle. Her emotions were out of whack anyway thanks to pregnancy hormones. She was terrified.

Deeks tried to console her, but besides being terrified, she was stubborn as hell. Deeks couldn't understand Kensi's frenzy, as she'd been injured before and never once had a reaction like this. When the paramedics arrived, she basically leapt into the back of the ambulance, wincing and trying to ignore her evident pain. The paramedic was a nice, sweet girl. As she settled in front of the girl she said immediately, "I'm pregnant."

The paramedic smiled at Kensi, taking a look at her wound. "Congratulations, hun," the lady said.

"Is the baby okay?" Kensi asked, as she felt the burn of getting her wound cleaned.

The paramedic continued to smile, tending gently to the agent's wound. "Darling, if this is your only injury, your baby is absolutely fine. However, if you're pregnant, you probably don't want to be in the field for too much longer."

Kensi was quickly cleaned and bandaged, and released to Deeks. She was only slightly embarrassed. Yeah, she'd overreacted. But it was her child's life here and that was not something to be taken lightly. As she slowly eased her sore hip into the passenger seat of her SRX, she realized she'd have a lot of explaining to do.

Not really the ideal way to tell him their good news.

He started the car, turning on the AC, but not making any effort to move the car. He looked at her. "I think we need to talk, Kens."

She took a deep breath, but before she could make words work, he was talking again.

"I'm not mad at you, but damn it. It's terrifying enough to see you get hurt, but to see you frea…"

"Deeks."

"Sorry," he paused. "I'll listen."

"I'm pregnant."

"You're, you're… what?"

"Pregnant," she said, grabbing his hand off of the console and placing it across her stomach, gracefully avoiding her hip. "Pregnant," she said again, over pronouncing her p.

"You're, you're serious?"

"I mean, I think you'd be terrified too if you almost got our baby killed."

"Kens," he whispered, pulling her chin towards him, kissing her. "This is amazing."

"This wasn't how I wanted to tell you."

"You didn't almost get her killed either. But you're so not going out in the field again."

"I'm like 10 weeks, Deeks. And when did the baby become a girl?"

"About two minutes ago, when you said 'I'm pregnant.'"

"Wow."

"Hey, I love you. Let's get you home. I hate that you're hurt."

"It's just a scratch."

He glared at her. "Well, you're getting pampered anyway. Momma's deserve the very best."


	68. Kensi takes a bullet for Deeks

He didn't know what to feel. Mostly, he just felt numb. Like suffocating, like drowning.

Saturday mornings on the beach with her were like finally being at peace. He had the love of his life, he had her in the palm of his hand. He didn't always feel loved in his life, but with her, he belonged. Sure she picked on him, but she's just a tease. Kensi Blye loves him. He found out just how much that Saturday morning she jumped in front of a bullet headed for him. Their leisurely beach morning devastated by a criminal looking for revenge on the detective that sent him to prison.

He hated himself. He hated that he let her get hurt. That she took the bullet he deserved. He hated watching her slow but steady breaths. _In. Out. In. Out. _He hated everything about what happened that morning. He hated everything about watching her lie in a hospital bed. He hated feeling so damn helpless.

He'd thought about a lot of things today- the uncertainty of the life they choose to live. How intense his love for her is. When she was in surgery, he couldn't sit still. Sam tried to help him find sanity, but he couldn't. He just couldn't relax.

Even the doctors confirmation that she would be fine didn't ease the bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't lose _her. _

His new mission in life? Protect _her. Until the day he dies._

_Protect her because she's the whole world._

As he watches her breathe, he thinks about what it feels like to hold the whole world in his arms, what it feels like to laugh with the ocean and love with the sky.

And though it hurts, and though he hates everything about this damned Saturday, he's content to press a kiss to her forehead slowly. He swears she is the Earth because even when she's out cold, she can still knock the wind out of him.


	69. Waiting Impatiently

Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap. Her fingernails dance against her desk. Tap tap. Tap.

She glanced at the door, around the office, up to the clock.

The hands couldn't POSSIBLY tick any slower.

She took a sip of the sugary, caffeinated soda on her desk, because that was totally gonna help with how jumpy she was.

She turned back to her laptop, hoping Sam and Callen couldn't sense her antsy tendencies. Sadly, only a moment later, Sam opened his mouth.

"You okay Kensi?"

"Yeah, fine," she tried to deny.

"You sure, you've been a little jumpy today." Callen smirked at her, and she wanted to hide behind her laptop screen. When she didn't reply, he looked at Sam and said, "She misses him."

Kensi wanted to scream.

She hadn't seen Deeks in two months, as Max had gone undercover. Hetty had informed her (and only her, the little woman was trying to earn some points back with her female agent) that his operation was complete, and he should be back at the NCIS office around 3.

And damn, she couldn't wait.

She was extremely pissed off that Callen and Sam were going to sit here and tease her. She never had older (or younger, for the matter) brothers to tease her about the boys she dated, but she hated it. Because Deeks, Deeks didn't deserve to be teased.

She opened her mouth, and before she knew it, she was letting Sam and Callen have it.

"I do, I do miss him. And can you blame me? He's the only person who makes me happy, and I deserve that, I…" she paused, realizing how much of a scene she's making. "He told me I deserve that."

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him, standing in the doorway. She thinks she's seeing things, but when she turns her head, there he is.

Neither Callen or Sam say a word when she stands up, crossing the room toward him. He drops his bags and opens his arms to her. She latches on to him, taking in the sight and smell of him. She feels her feet lift off the ground, and she's gone. She doesn't care if Callen and Sam see it. She doesn't care if people stare.

He's home.


	70. Kensi watches Deeks sleep

An: These will probably be pretty short, more drabble-esqe than oneshot-esque. Also out of prompts, so...

* * *

She makes fun of his hair, but damn, she loves it.

Its her 2 am realization. Of course, she already knew she loved his hair. She loves the curls, the way they slide between her fingers when she runs them through it. She loves the golden color, not just of his hair, but of his whole body. He's just a beautiful man.

She's not sure what woke her up at this odd hour. But she can't go back to sleep, as the sight of the man in front of her is enough to make her want to pin her eyes open forever, just so she can stare at him.

She picks up on everything. His steady breathing, the twitch of his nose. She wishes she could reach out and touch him, but she can't. She doesn't want to wake him.

Spontaneously, Monty hopped up on the bed, plopping down. She pushed him off, but Deeks stirred. It became quickly evident that he wasn't really awake, and Kensi relaxed.

His body calmed, as if ready to slip back into deep slumber. But all of the sudden, his arm swung around subconsciously, pulling her close into him. She didn't protest, just ducked her head into the crook of his neck. She took a deep breath, soaking in the unmistakable scent of Deeks, and closed her eyes.

She could watch him sleep anytime, but it was so much nicer in his arms.


	71. Minor Injuries

Her lips graze the purple flesh of his rib, and a sound she doesn't recognize slips out of his lips.

Its hot, its sexy, but it's also a yelp of pain, a cry out for her to stop.

"I'm sorry," she whispers quietly. She's just really glad it was just a bruise. She's having trouble processing the idea that it could have been a hell of a lot worse. She doesn't want to think about the time he was shot, the time he was tortured, the times Kensi almost lost her Deeks.

"Don't you ever, ever, apologize for kissing me," he says slowly.

"I don't want to make it worse," she sighs. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"It's just a bruise, Kens. If I need something, I can go get it."

She shakes her head. "Maybe you can, but you don't have to. That's what I'm for."

"Kensi…"

"No, Deeks. If it were me who got punched in the ribs, you'd have carried me to bed, force fed me the painkillers I'm too stubborn to take, put in Titanic, and brought me ice cream." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself for her next sentence. "Just let me take care of you too."

He thinks about it for a moment… she wants to be there for him. Why the hell would he not let her?

"Well, I um, I could maybe go for some dinner."

She smiles. "I ordered pizza ten minutes ago, I'll go get beer when it gets here."

She gracefully shifts in bed, pushing up avoiding the place of his injury. She places her lips to the hard line of his jaw, tracing it to the corner of his lips. His eyes close, as he takes a deep breath in. "Damn it Kens."

She just smiles, her lips against his cheek. "Yes, Marty Deeks?"

"There's one more thing I need."

She pulls away, but her hands hold his head in place, her fingers curled in his hair. Her eyes answer him quickly. Anything.

A single finger lands on her chin and pulls it up toward his lips. He bites her bottom lip gently, but she resists, more focused on keeping their lips together. When they part, he breathlessly answers with his other request.

"Never stop kissing me."


	72. Coming Home

He's not sure if he'll ever be able to forgive Henrietta Lange, but if he ever does, tonight was her first step to redemption.

Its dark and he feels almost alone as he navigates the familiar streets on the way to Kensi's. It feels like it has been ages, and that's because it has. Six months, 26 weeks, 182 days. He imagines their last night together, the way her gaze burned him as he walked away. The way her eyes appeared to crystallize as she held in tears she didn't want him to see. The sting of his own tears as he drove away. He remembers wiping his eyes against his sleeve, smelling her on his hoodie.

His heart pounds against his white tee shirt as he gets closer and closer to her place. Anxiety creeps up from the back of his throat and he bites his teeth together tightly. His mind races between the consequences of his mission, the employment status he just changed, and his relationship with Kensi.

Every week while undercover, he had to meet with his handler. He'd recieve an envelope, and inside, he'd find a letter from Kensi. Undercover, he couldn't risk getting caught writing a letter back, but if he got to their meeting location early, he'd try to scribble a note back to her on a napkin. Too often, he didn't have enough time to tell her everything he wanted to, everything he needed to. Her letters were urgent, sad. He'd memorize every word, every crossed t and every dotted i. He memorized the way her cursive flowed, the loops of her l's and the curls in on top of her o's. He'd never realized how beautiful her penmanship was until that was all he had of her to love. Her letters broke his heart, her poetic words pelted him in the chest like tiny little bullets.

_"Damn it Deeks, I miss you."_

_"I'm worried about you."_

_"Monty's listening to Tori Amos again."_

_"I don't know how to keep living without you anymore."  
_

_"I'm sorry I haven't said I love you yet. Because I do."  
_

_"I'm still worried."  
_

_"It's been months."  
_

_"Please come home soon."  
_

_"I miss you so much that I can't sleep."  
_

_"Be careful."  
_

_"I'm so worried."  
_

Maybe they weren't so poetic, but when Kensi expressed feelings of sadness, worry, love… he'd be fascinated for days. He hated every moment he worried her, but was desperate to hear her say she loved him. Selfish as that was, he needed it. He hasn't always been loved in his life, but she's changed that for him. After 6 months without her, he needed her. All of her. With no holding back.

He had to hope she'd be okay with that. That they'd be able to pick up where they left off, because he really loved where they left off.

Parking the car, he took a deep breath and unbuckled his seat belt. He didn't know what he was getting into, but before slipping his key into the lock of her front door, he saw his phone light flashing. A text from Hetty, "Congratulations, Mr. Deeks. Director Vance and Granger have both already approved your application."

The lights were off- no surprise for 2 am. He slipped off his shoes, and stripped out of most of his clothes, throwing them in her pile of laundry. He entered her bedroom, hearing her soft snores. Surprised that he hadn't woken her, he flipped his flashlight app on, and observed the bottle of sleeping pills on her bedside table. He squeezed his eyes shut, and placed his newly issued NCIS approved weapon next to hers, and crossed her room to find his side of the bed. He found a corner of the covers turned up, and he gently slid in. He turned his head to look at her, seeing Monty for the first time, wrapped in her tight grip. However the dog was wide awake, looking at him excitedly.

He extended his hand to his dog and Monty licked eagerly. He squirmed, but Deeks rested his hand on his back. "Don't wake Mommy, Monty."

He knew she'd kill him in the morning for not waking her, but he wanted her to sleep. He pulled his head up and pressed a kiss against her forehead.

Softly against her forehead he whispered, "you don't have to worry anymore."


	73. Coffee Mugs and Proposals

A/n: Nope, I'm not back. Nope, didn't edit this once. Haven't even read back over it. It has been done eight million times. I apologize for this.

* * *

He's running around the store cursing himself. He couldn't have possibly fucked this day up any more.

He woke up early, started a pot of coffee and took Monty out for his morning stroll.

He felt the little velvet box in his pocket. It felt heavy, like it carried the weight of the world. It at least carried the weight of his world. It was a reminder that today was the day that his life was about to get a whole lot better, or a whole lot worse.

He slipped the box in his pocket because he knew if he didn't start mentally preparing himself now, he'd chicken out before night's end and put it back in the drawer until the next time he felt brave enough. Not because he didn't want to marry her with all his heart, but for fear that she wouldn't want to marry him.

There's no doubt in his mind that she loves him. There may have been before, but not now. She wanted to be bold with him. She's showed him, many many times how much she loves him. Her forgiveness for the deceit of the Internal Affairs investigation shows him how much she loves him. But he kind of doubts her willingness to wear a wedding ring and change her last name.

But her and her cupcake girls did talk a hell of a lot about fantasy engagements, and she's got a subscription to just about every bridal magazine that exists.

He's got nothing to worry about, but his everything is on the line.

Upon returning from their walk, he releases Monty from his leash. He was still lost in his thoughts as he reached up into the cupboard to grab their two coffee mugs.

_Okay, _he thought. _Super casual. Don't be weird. Wake her up, hand her her coffee in her favorite mug. Cuddle, feed her. Watch all her favorite movies. Ask her if she wants to get all dressed up and go out. Wine and dine her. Bring her back home, appreciate her dress. One knee..._

While his head was eight million miles ahead of him, he fumbled around with the mugs. Kensi's fell from the cabinet, hitting the floor and shattering.

His heart stopped. What a great way to begin a marriage, with her wanting him dead.

He falls to the ground, collecting the broken pieces of her mug. Her Wonder Woman mug. It was completely destroyed, and no amount of super glue was going to be able to fix that.

In a panic, he swept up the floor. He peeked his head into their bedroom, and heard one of her adorable snort-snores, and knew he was out cold. He pulled on his shoes and made a mad dash for the Dollar Store.

He's not sure if he thought that finding the exact same mug would be easy or if he was operating on pure fear, but as he roamed the aisle where he'd bought the mug in the first place, he'd had no luck. No Wonder Woman mug.

He thought about the way she'd laughed and kissed his jaw when she'd opened it, responding with, "I love it, thanks baby." And she'd meant it too. It was one of the first things that had gravitated its way over to his house, long before they moved in together. When she didn't go to Starbucks in the morning, that mug was how she got her caffeine fix.

He was about to accept defeat when his eye caught a pink pastel little mug, a purple bird on the side. It was no Wonder Woman, but when he read it, it clicked to him. His Ladybird made it all worth it.

He bought the mug and hoped she wouldn't kill him.

The coffee didn't taste too shitty (actually, it did) when he got back home, despite having sat a while. He adjusted the temperature, and washed her new mug out in the sink, before pouring the both of them coffee.

She strolled into the kitchen as he poured, and his heart was racing. The box in his pocket reminded him why he didn't want to die today.

"Hey, what's got you up so early. I was looking forward to Saturday morning snuggles." She was wearing short shorts and a tank top and her voice was just as beautiful.

"I was just, um, making coffee, and I took Monty on a walk. There will definitely be time for Saturday morning snuggles."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Something wrong Deeks? You're acting weird."

"Yeah," he paused. "I dropped your mug."

"My Wonder Woman mug?"

"Yeah."

"That was my favorite mug."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I went to the store to try to find a new one, but I couldn't." He turned to grab the new mug and hand it to her. "I know its not the same, I'm so sorry Kens, but..."

She took a moment to read it, and pulled it to her lips for a sip of the coffee.

_live every moment_

_laugh everyday_

_love beyond words_

His heart was stopped as he waited for a response.

"You know the only reason I had any sort of attachment to that mug is because you gave it to me, right?"

His heart started beating again. "Really? You're not going to kill me?"

"No, Deeks. I'm not going to kill you. I'd miss you too much." She looked back at the mug. "This is an incredibly cheesy replacement mug. But its also kinda romantic and totally you so I kind of like it."

He couldn't honestly form words.

"Deeks, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"Yes there is. You're freaking me out. Talk to me."

There it is. His leap of faith. This wasn't how he'd planned it, but it'll have to do. There's no where he'd rather be than this moment with her.

He pulled the box from his pocket and fell to one knee.


	74. Mugs and Proposals and Fears (2)

a/n: Some people were a little upset with me about not writing Kensi's response to being proposed to. So here you go, please don't kill me.

And don't think you've convinced me to come back.

* * *

She woke up a way she hadn't in a long time. Actually, she could go the rest of her life and never have this feeling again and she would be perfectly content.

There was a while when she thought that she needed this. Every once in a while, she needed to wake up cold and alone just to remember how it felt. When they'd bicker just a little too much and she'd ask if they could take a night off, by morning she'd regret the whole thing. She'd miss waking up to his warmth, his arms, his touch, his kiss. It put things in perspective. She didn't want nights off anymore. She didn't want to be alone, not when her alternative was him. That's why moving in with him was so right.

She reached out subconsciously for him, but he was in fact not in bed with her. She could smell burnt coffee and hear clattering around from their kitchen, and she could feel herself relax, even just slightly. He was just in the kitchen, not miles away from her.

She pulled herself out from their covers. She padded off toward their kitchen to see where her man had run off too.

She stood and watched him for a moment. He looked frantic, nervous. Concerned, she decided to inquire about why she was missing her Saturday morning snuggles. She really liked those.

His admission and reaction to breaking her mug was shocking to him. What she admitted was true. She only held strong feelings for that mug because he gave it to her. It symbolized all he saw in her, as a badass hardcore super hero, but feminine, a woman. _His woman. _And being his leading lady made her happy.

She could see him being worried about her breaking him in the second year if their working partnership, but not well past a year into their relationship. She hadn't playfully shoved a gently punch to his bicep in ages. Something had him spooked, and she needed to know what it was. She hated seeing this in him. She was so much better at communicating her love to him now. She hated this.

He sucked in a deep breath, and she noted the confliction he seemed to be faced with. His eyes contorted. But a faint grin fell over his lips- and a single knee hit the floor.

She'd thought about him proposing to her before. Especially on nights off, her mind had time to wander and think.

She thought that when Deeks finally popped the question, her mind would race back to a time when she was younger and had less physical scars, when a young Jack Simon had one knee against the ground. She cried when she thought of that. She wouldn't tell Deeks that. She could count on one hand the number of times she'd cried in front of him, and that wouldn't change if she had her choice.

She cried because she feared that when Deeks got down on one knee, she'd think of Jack. She was terrified that she'd ruin the happiest part of her life with one of the darkest parts of her past.

She feared it. She feared it, knowing there was no way to know what would race through her the moment it happened.

She wanted to marry him. She didn't really know what it would mean to be a wife, but she didn't care. If she could be Marty Deeks' wife, it would be worth it. It would be a culmination of everything they'd fought for to be together. She was Badass Blye as he coined, but she didn't feel very badass when she would curl up in a ball on her couch without him and fear how she might react. Once they moved in together, her time alone decreased. She thought about it less, but it was still heavy on her heart when she thought about the life they could lead together.

But in reality, when Marty Deeks went down on one knee the morning he broke her coffee mug, those fears were long gone. His confessions of unchanging and undying love her injected passion into her veins; she bent down and pressed her lips hard against his, nodding as they broke apart. She willed her voiced to say yes, possibly two or three times, and he slipped the ring on her left hand. She couldn't even break her face away from his long enough to study the ring in all its beauty for what it was worth.

And Jack Simon? The_ furthest_ thing from her mind.


	75. Words

a/n: Originally, I wrote this thinking I would be putting it in a group of one shots called LA on Your Break (aka the only writing I've done lately...), which have been inspired by my adventures when visiting the beautiful city of Los Angeles. I had a similar elevator experience to what is written about here (not quite the same, obviously.) But when I got to this particular line, I knew where this ficlet really belonged.

I apologize any rough patches. It was written in really fragmented sections and if I had betas (thanks to those who have offered!) I'm sure it would improve the quality, but I would probably never post anything ever again because I'd take their constructive criticisms much too hard. I'd rather just throw things on paper productively, get things out of my head and move on from them.

Sorry for that random rant.

* * *

"We're just two people who really, really aren't good with words."

* * *

When there's something off with his partner, there's something off with him.

He noticed it this morning when they woke up. Usually, she's curled up against his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around her for at least a few minutes before they get up in the mornings, unless rudely awakened by Eric to get into OPS early. But when they awoke, she pulled away. And before he could process what was going on, she was already in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower.

There was nothing abnormal about the specific day, he'd already thought that through. No forgotten anniversaries of theirs or hers and it wasn't her birthday. Nothing really unordinary had happened the day before and he really didn't think he did anything wrong. But obviously something was very wrong and he didn't like it.

She was quiet on their way into the office, but as they walked into the room with Sam and Callen, the flip was switched and work Kensi was back. Work Kensi and Girlfriend Kensi were two different people who had slowly melted themselves into one person over time, but today was the apparent exception. She was diligently working on paperwork as it it weren't busy work and only interacted with Callen and Sam to dig a little bit deeper into Sam's ego when the mathlete topic somehow was brought back up.

She's still Work Kensi when the day's case sends them to a fancy downtown hotel to check out some potential activity on the 32nd floor.

The car ride to the hotel was uncomfortably quiet. She let him not only drive her Audi but also pick the radio station and he didn't know how he felt about that. It was almost a surrender of sorts, and confirmed to him that there was something really off. But he smiled at her anyway and despite her silent composure, he sang along to Adele in the car like he normally would. If she wasn't okay, he'd do his damndest to be as okay as he could be for her.

The traffic was horrendous as usual, and the hotel staff didn't like where they were trying to park and kept trying to push them in the direction of the valet. But the badges took care of their problems, as they can occasionally do.

There was a rush as they entered the hotel building, people were everywhere, the lobby packed. But Work Kensi had a radar like vision, scanning for the front registration desk. She glanced at Deeks with a gaze that told him to have her six and before even confirming that he was following her lead, she slipped away into the crowd of people. He jumped into action to keep up with her, her slender frame slipping seamlessly through the sea of bodies, eye on the final destination in front of her.

The hotel staff, eager to cooperate with them so that their name could be cleared of any wrongdoing, slipped Kensi a key.

She pulled a similar stunt again, twisting away into the crowd. He took off after her. He guessed it wasn't really too abnormal of a behavior for her, but he could sense the tension in her face, muscles and eyes and hated every bit of it.

As they approached the elevator, Kensi turned her head sharply toward Deeks, her eyes quizzically gazing into his. "Why the hell are we surrounded by teenagers?"

Deeks furrowed his brow at her, as if to question her sanity, but let his eye gaze around the lobby. There they were in the masses. Young people, high schoolers, all lined up for the elevators.

"There's gotta be hundreds of kids here," he said with a pause.

Work Kensi's radar eye scanned the room again. It was kind of alluring and really damn sexy to watch her calculate the situation. "Its a convention," she said slowly. Her eyes focused in on something far off in the distance, and he turned to look at it. The print was small and he didn't catch the details that she could. "National health occupations students," she said into the air. She looked down at her watch. "Almost noon. They're all on their lunch break."

He followed her thought train. "They're all trying to go up to their rooms or to the restaurants upstairs."

She turned to him, nodding her head slowly.

"So you're telling me there are like a thousand kids needing to go up about eight elevators right now?" Deeks asked her.

"Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying," she said in response

"Well, looks like we're taking the stairs," he said as she started to move. This time, he didn't allow her to get too far in front of him. "Which is good, actually, it'll give us some time to talk."

Her strides were long, and she stared ahead of him looking for any sign that would direct them toward a stairwell. "We don't need to talk," she replied sharply.

"Everything about how you just answered that says that we need to talk."

She huffed and stopped walking, spinning around as she did it. "We're going the wrong way."

"Kensi, what's wrong?"

"I don't know where the stairs are."

He cocked his head at her in dismay, but she had gained some sense of where she was, because she took off again.

Finally, she swung open the doorway to a stairwell and they slipped into it. "We might ought to tell these kids about this," he paused as he realized they were completely alone now. He was significantly less eager to share this information.

He turned to see that she was already halfway up the first flight of stairs and ran to join her. "Did I do something?"

He could feel how much she didn't want to talk about this, but begrudgingly, she replied, "No."

"Okay, I definitely did something. Was it in bed last night? Was that hickey from the other night too hard to cover u…" He doesn't get to finish that sentence before she interrupts him.

"Its nothing you did, okay?" she exclaimed, finally giving in and allowing him to sense her annoyance.

"So there is something wrong," he said, bouncing in front of her on the stairwell.

"Do we have to talk about this at work?"

"We're in an empty stairwell and we're only a handful of flights up these stairs. Darling, we've got plenty of time."

"Don't call me darling," she scrunched up her features at him.

"Then tell me." the teasing gone from his voice, erased suddenly. She needed to know his intent- he was serious. "Seriously Kens, all morning I have been replaying conversations and calendars in my head trying to figure out what I'm missing here. I can't help you with what you don't tell me about."

"Gee, don't you love what that feels like?" She stopped and looked at him, her eyes like daggers into his.

"Is that what this is about? God, he was not in the mood for a conversation about Internal Affairs right now, but if that was causing her ailments, he'd do whatever he needed to to assure her that she could trust him.

She let out a sigh. "It's not about IA, Deeks. But it is about something you said last night."

Though he'd already run last night through his head, he decided to do it again. Last night had been good. Really good. "I, I don't have any idea Kens."

She started to walk again, but with less purpose. Obviously they were still on the job and had places to be, but the drive and precision Work Kensi embodied had faded into the softer woman he'd fallen in love with.

"The kid. And the trains."

* * *

_Her laugh was infecting him at an alarming rate. He was in love with the way her body shook in laughter as he tickled her sides walking behind her up the stairs._

_Their combined laughter slipped into soft conversation. They were both tired after the day's case. It hadn't been too long or grueling, but it was enough to get to turn in early._

_He slipped in the bathroom to brush his teeth. Sure enough, the moment his toothbrush bristles hit his teeth, Kensi began asking him questions. "You have mentoring this weekend?"_

_It was a valid question for once. Generally, they weren't. She loved to start talking to him when he was brushing his teeth. It annoyed him a lot. Usually he just kept rolling with it._

_He flashed her his usual glare, but quickly polished his teeth and wiped his mouth. He's a little bit terrified of getting cavities these days, but one bad night of brushing shouldn't begin that nightmare for him._

_"Yeah. Actually, I found out he's super into trainsets. I thought I'd show him what I have, you know? I still want to keep them in case we have kids and all, but I think he'd like to see them. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring kids up again. Not that you'd care if they had those trains to play with. But yeah." He walked back over toward her, the laughter of their evening completely faded into the quiet feeling of an evening spent next to the person you love the most. They'd decided that until they made more concrete plans about getting married, they'd postpone talking about the possibility of kids._

_He was greeted with her lips against his cheekbone, pushing up as she went up on her tiptoes to reach him. She pushed his bangs out of his eyes with her finger and looked closely at his face for a moment. "I bet he'll love that."_

_His heart quickened a moment, his breath taken away from him the moment her body touched his. It shouldn't be that this far into their relationship that he's still turned on about everything about her. Or well, maybe it… should be?_

_His hands found her hips and he pulled her against him and once she was there, he went back to what was familiar to them, his hands cupping her face and leading his lips to her. There wasn't much more talking to have after that as she was pulling him down onto their bed, lips barely parting enough to take breaths._

_She broke away, gazing at him a moment before tucking her head underneath his neck. They were really too exhausted for much more than a little make out and snuggle session, but she appreciated his hand's graze over her shoulder as he pulled the covers up over their cuddling limbs._

* * *

The trains. The boy he was mentoring._ " I found out he's super into trainsets. I thought I'd show him what I have, you know? I still want to keep them in case we have kids and all, but I think he'd like to see them. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring kids up again. Not that you'd care if they had those trains to play with."_

He quizzically looked at her once again, taking steady paced steps at her side, until she explained. "Not that you'd care," she said slowly. "Not that I'd care."

He was still highly confused. "This is about words?"

"No Deeks, its about what those words mean." The stairwell came to an abrupt end with a doorway that she wasn't sure lead where they wanted to be going so she paused so that this could at least get off her chest. "How can you not know that when something means something to you, it means something to me? That you have these really beautiful toy trains, a part of your history and your past that you want to share with any kids we may or may not have that I don't give a damn about that?" she was fuming, all of her pent up frustration was pouring out, condescending into the most harsh statement of all. "If you didn't know that meant something to me, then obviously I have failed in making sure that you know how much I love every part of who you are."

It took him a moment to realize the exact implications of this, that it wasn't him saying those words that upset her. _She's not mad at you, she's mad at herself. _

But he knew that she loved him, right? He did. Despite his own feelings about himself and the 'man' he was, she saw a part of him he wished he could see. When he's with her, she takes the air quotes away from the word man and feels like he is a real and valid existence, one of worth and assistance to the world. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved her, dating back years. But only in the last year or so did it become undeniable that she loved him back just as much.

"Kensi, I…" this was about to get real strange to say very rapidly. "I know that you love me."

But she wouldn't look at him. Her eyes were somewhere else, looking up down and around, as if she was looking for a place to hide from him. "You take a lot of my crap Deeks. You take the messy house, the lack of cooking skills, my inability to stay on my side of the bed, and I've made you feel like what's important to you isn't important to me."

He reached out to grab her hand, drawing his thumb over hers. "You're reading way too far into this. 98 percent of the times I bring up those trains its a joke at my expense. They are a part of my past, you're right. But you have never once made me feel like that part of who I am isn't okay with you. We're just two people who really, really aren't good with words. Oh and by the way, I don't really want you staying on your side of the bed."

She flashed him a half smile. He could sense the guilt radiating off of her in layers, almost relaxing for the first time all day. "After you'd fallen asleep, I just couldn't get the words out of my head. They just kept repeating over and over in my head," she sighed. "I'm sorry."

He smiled back at her, grasping her chin and pulling it up to meet his in a short, but gentle and sweet kiss. "It's okay. I'm sorry you've felt guilty about this for half of the day. I guess we're still not perfect communicators."

"But we're better than we were? I mean, we got this far. We're going to make it?" the crack in her voice was more vulnerable than he was used to.

"Of course we're going to make it," he glanced around, reading at the doorway they'd come to. A large sign read, "EMPLOYEES ONLY. NO ELEVATOR ACCESS. RETURN TO FLOOR 20 AND TAKE THE ELEVATOR."

"Apparently this hotel needs to work on its communication skills. What kind of hotel only has stairs to floor 20?" she remarked, voice still somber. A tear was pricking the corner of her dark eye, threatening to fall.

"Come on, partner," he looped his arm around her shoulder. Quickly, her fingers dashed up to her eyes to wipe any evidence of emotion from her face. He smiled at her, knowing the depth of what this kind of response from her meant. After descending one flight of stairs, she'd recovered. Before stepping out of the stairwell on the 20th floor he remarked, "You good? I mean, we'll have a 3 year wait for the elevator still, but we're not stepping out of this stairwell until you're mentally ready to kick ass."

She chuckled genuinely for the first time that day, swinging her foot up to lightly tap him on the ass. "I'm ready."

He grinned and opened the door. "I love you."

"Love you too."


End file.
